The blind and the seva

For more than a decade I ran on behalf of the AoL here and there “saving the world.” The world is not perfect. It was not back when I joined the AoL. Many things can be improved in the world, but listening to SSRS somehow makes you feel something must be done urgently before we are all doomed, and that salvation depended on, specifically, his intervention. I don’t know if I have become thick headed or if actually I evolved, but I now see the world is simply so perfect as it is, in its imperfections. Wanting to make the world better is nice, but having the feverishness to change the world is insane.

The man who taught me to “accept things and people as they are”, that noone could change anyone, except by accepting followed by responsibility detached from results, and that everything from the Divine is perfect, was, at the same time, urging me to change the world and everyone because what the Divine had done was not good enough.

Seva warriors or seva angels were so stimulated, so excited, so feverish in their conquering of seva, the only image that comes to my mind right now is that of many teenagers running around with excessive hormones trying to copulate with whatever comes in front of them! These behaviors obviously came with aggression, competitiveness, lack of integrity, instability, personality disorders, dissonance, etc. Anything was acceptable as long as results were achieved. I literally understood the saying, “over my dead body” coexisting with AoL teachers. I still don’t perceive corrupting values to uplift human values spiritual. I could be wrong. But I remember how upset Ravishankar was the day I told him it was hypocritical to break values in the name of human values.

There were a few seva projects here and there. I was one of those teachers who went without sleep or food for many days in crazy projects in crazy areas. I thought it was the best yet I did not receive the proper support, and finally faced the truth it was all for publicity or added material for his NPP nomination. None of those projects had real continuation. The real seva in the AoL was actually to bring more people to the course, organize courses, teach courses. Let’s face it. That is about 90% of the seva projects (oh yes, and doing the dishes and cleaning the toilets and ironing his clothes). The rest is placebo, a pretty decoration, an extra spice. Bringing more people will not change the world! It is all to add more money to his family account, value to his popularity, evidence for his narcissism.

Every time I clean the house, do the dishes, etc. I joke with myself, “Oh I am doing seva!”

Not long ago, I was crossing the street and turned around to see a blind man trying to cross too. I went back and offered to lead him. I helped him walk 3 blocks. When we reached his final destination, I had this immense feeling of satisfaction. I pondered about it for a long time and realized it was the first real seva I had done in years!

There I was, someone who for over a decade prided in having dedicated life to the selfless service to humankind realizing that was the one real seva I had done in years! The rest had been actually enrolling people to a course that is a fraud! The Greek have to agree it is indeed tragic comedy!

I was always reminded of all the merits I was earning from all the seva! When I think about it now, I shriek at the thought of all the karma I probably created on myself for having brought so many to the path of “devolution”.

The blind helped me see.