Qualities of a Guru

I don’t know why I keep remembering an exercise that was done in TTC 1 and DSN: naming the qualities of the Guru. I remember the first time I heard this command. I suddenly wondered, “Really, what are the qualities of Guruji? Why is it I like him?” By the time 3, 4 people started timidly listing adjectives, the rest was just an act of imagination and poetic skill. By the end of the exercise, we were sitting in front of a flipchart with a list of adjectives that insinuated the existence of a Sri Sri Holy 108, the embodiment of God on earth. But, did we all really think that or was it fantasy, group enthusiasm induced?

Examples of qualities listed are compassion, funny, giving, loving, all encompassing, caring, wise, intelligent, responsible, hard working, etc. (interesting, even today I have a hard time working out this list).

Basically, the obvious lesson was we become what we love, we become what we hate, thus, better love than hate, and because we loved him the most, we would all become as amazing as he is. We were the best. The hidden lesson was worship HIM, there is nothing more perfect and more truly amazing than HIM. You are the chosen one, you have the blessing of being with the reincarnation of God on earth.

It’s funny. If I had to work on that list today, the first qualities I’d call out are disloyal, ungrateful, arrogant, unscrupulous, machiavellic, ambitious (in a negative way), power hungry, wealth hungry, fame hungry, narcissistic, lacks empathy, self-centered, selfish, vain, lacks compassion, incapable of loving, incapable of feeling, incapable of establishing deep bonds with anyone, distorted sense of grandiosity of himself, revengeful, abusive, manipulative, liar, sinister, stressed, explosive, deceitful, hypocritical, and I’d end it with a few “etc.”

It’s interesting but these are the qualities that prevail above all in the movement, especially amongst the teachers, even more so, the senior teachers. People with these qualities are the ones he supports, promotes and upgrades. Thus, indirectly, passively, showing these are the qualities and behaviors that get rewarded and awarded. Those who have a hard time living by these qualities find themselves in a more vulnerable situation, attacked, exposed, hammered ("it’s your ego"). Historically, humankind has always casted those who dare be different. It is not different in the Art of Living path (unless you have something to offer the organization that it still wants from you, eg. money, connections, status, etc).

One of the questions I pondered on for a long time was, “When I grow up, who do I want to be like?”

I searched deeply and vastly in my list of worldwide teachers and long-timers. I looked around … no, no, no, no …. NOOOOO … no, no no …. No …..!!! There was not one person I wanted to be like. Even worse, I did not want to ever be like any one of them! (If you know them off the course setting, even less!). And then came the big fish: not even when I was a devotee, I wanted to be like Sri Sri Ravishankar.

What are many people learning in that spiritual path? That being disloyal, ungrateful, machiavellic, betraying, etc. in the name of their devotion for Sri Sri or in the name of achieving whatever it is they want, adding the words “greater cause” to it, gets you away from anything and is the ultimate act of devotion, faith, spirituality.

What did I learn in my many years in that spiritual path? Everything I did not ever want to be like ever in life and everything I should never do if I want to live a life with integrity, values - success beyond success.

What would AoLers say about this article? That I am actually doing a “projection” and blaming on Sri Sri the things that actually are mine. It takes one to recognize the other, they say. There is one thing I am clear about: it is because I did not want to become those qualities, because I never agreed with them, that I finally left, that I finally lived the experiences that I did. Fortunately, the education I got from my parents, my grandparents, my elders, was a lot better than the one I got from Sri Sri. Fortunately, I have some discrimination left.

I stopped loving him and, fortunately, I never hated him nor do I hate him. I hope that saves me from ever being like him. Needless to mention, I work hard on myself so that I don’t repeat the mistake of regarding THAT as the ultimate HIM.