BY ANONYMOUS
Dear Klim,
You may post this as a separate entry.
What can be done if one member of the family is still under the influence of 'Art of Living' web of lies and pressures?
We are associated with AOL for more that 10 years in India and New Zealand. After our last year visit to Sydney to attend a Part III course with SSRS, it became apparent that the movement is more about publicity, number game and money than any real spiritual experience. Since than I have quietly disassociated myself from most of the volunteering activities in Auckland.
However, due to my partner's attachment to Sudershan Kriya and Satsang, I am unable to totally leave AOL social circle. Her attachment is so strong that I fear revealing my true feelings about AOL and SSRS. The fear is more about her state of mind which will be shattered and she may not be able to cope up with that. I am slowly and slowly making efforts to stay away from AOL activities. Currently, due to SSRS visit to our city she is devoting much time in AOL slavery.
What suggestions can someone make so that I can take her and our family life away from AOL and SSRS?
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
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19 comments:
Hi Anonymous
You should share your feelings about AOL with your spouse - its difficult no doubt but thats the reality.
Dont wait too long, you may end up losing your wife and kids if any - like what I did.
In your situation, the most important thing is to be patient and educate your wife. There is a lot of information about AOL cult on Internet now.
I was involved with AOL for several years. I asked my husband to take Basic Course and Advanced, and he did. He wasn't crazy about AOL and its activities, but he continued attending Satsangs and doing Kriya, and he kept telling me that it was for my sake. It was a sacrifice on his part, but it made me realize, after some time, what is more important for me, and that Real understanding and kindness are next to me. What was very important at that time - I never heard any insulting word about AOL from him , he was just explaining things in a very friendly way.
Now I am free from AOL cult, thanks GOD. I chose real happiness to superficial happiness of "one world family", which, in fact, is not happiness at all, but misery disguised as happiness.
I wish you good luck in your attempt to save your family.
One option could be to start questioning AOL claims in a small way. Like random claims made by AOL - number of AOL followers, community projects, orphan adoption etc. Start sowing seeds of doubt that everything might not be as rosy with AOL projects/people as advertised. I am sure you can find many examples in your local area.
Then slowly cultivate these doubts to discuss bigger question like should we be spending so much time/money for AOL? Maybe we should spend time/money on other orgs which provide more documentation on what they do with the donation money.
Also show the Simpsons video about cults to your spouse.
Good luck.
@ April 6, 2010 12:21 PM Anonymos
Very well said that is what must be done .be supportive of her and loving ....very sensitive !!!
1. Be honest with her. Tell her that you no longer believe in AOL like you once did. That you think you don't find much spirituality there, and your time and money is spent in other things. She can participate if she wants, but you would prefer it if she does not.
2. Do not try to "convince" her to leave. The more you try to get her to leave the more she will resist. Saying no will just make her angry, and more into AOL. Let her take her own time to decide...and respect her ability to decide on her own. We all repress the anti-aol part inside us - it is always there.
Support her in everything else - do not stop being a good husband. Listen to her frustrations, even if they are about AOL - and do not offer advice - then she will stop telling you these things in fear that you may be judging her.
From your side, be indifferent to AOL - stop going to satsangs, or participating when they are held at home.
I would recommend you also fill the spiritual vacuum , which AOL used to fill, otherwise you will end up going back.
3. Make new friends. Both on your own and as a couple. Of all the things I miss about AOL it is company of good people - and there are many in AOL. Good company is rare to find in this world.
You may have some friction in the short run, but it is better in the long run. She will take her time to come around. You just have to be patient.
My advice is you have to tell her to spare her further damage.
That close relative of mine X just did not bother to hear what I had to say about RS. And continues to be exploited.
X is not affluent . Never buys fruits like pomegranates & apples as these are her budget blasters. Works to run the family as the husband who is no fan of aol has left her.
She goes on loss of pay i.e., foregoing her salary , borrows money ( initially I gave her money for free as I can afford plus she is related to me but when I saw all being dumped at the feet of RS I turned off my charity gene ) travels by train ( not AC first class but the cheapest )to Bangalore to do " service".
Gets evasive when I ask probing questions. Still takes medication for a whole lot of health problems but continues to spin the spiel how RS's kriyas have a " healing effect".
Sparing you further shocking details. I see no improvement save firm entrenchment of incorrigible idiocy and a streak of violent temper that surfaces when I talk about the conman Ravishankar.
That faked smile is just that FAKE. Like RS who is one consummate FAKE.
Hey, just give the url of this blog and ask her to go through the posts. I do not think anything else is necessary surely. You have to plan for a more powerful brainwashing than AOL-s. My sincere prayers to God to help you.
Another trend I notice among all followers of congurus like RS to nithys is the following:
When things go well , everything gets attributed to the congurus's (faux) blessings .
When things go awry they flagellate themselves...may be I need to pump up sevas , need to increase my contributions.. I am doubting my guru & hence being punished as my guru is sooo omniscient....
It is one harrowing hell of a whirlpool of mental doodlings. That feeds on itself. The gurus being aware of it capitalise on precisely that.
I asked X whether she had ever met RS in person after slaving for him for so many years and she answered " yes , once".
I asked " what did he tell you?"
X replied excitedly " guruji told me be happy".
I sang an old tamil song whose lines are " Be happy , be jolly , be cheerful..." without taking any money or services or asking her to clean my toilet.
I clean my washroom. She does not. As she exhausts herself in cleaning toilets at RS's ashram , does not have the time or inclination to take a look at her own house.Or her child.
My friend - I share the same feeling like you. Sometime you need to move on in your spiritual quest if the organization does not have anything more to offer as you can safely feel the guru dakshina is paid off in fees and holding gratitude to SSRS for whatever benefits derived as a true guru would expect from a follower. Definitely share the blog with your wife that is the right thing to do and give her the freedom to be do sewa or whatever if it makes her happy an don't bite your purse in a big way.
How ironic of him to talk about eroding trust and ethics as far as others are concerned. And how typical to see all the congratulatory comments from cult followers.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/values-elusive-reality_b_526793.html?ref=fb&src=sp
To add:
The devotee is not the one at fault. His/her feelings can be very deep and genuine. If one blames people for being idiots, etc. you will lose her. As it is AOL people are very sensitive and defensive about many of these things.
The one at fault is RS. Just highlight that fact. He does not respect his devotees (makes fun behind their back), and exploits their genuine feelings for making $. He's not even using it for charities, but on his family's luxury.
Krishna runs after his devotees, but RS is just after their attention and $$. This whole thing is a charade, based on half-truths. The emperor is only wearing underwear!
Hi there,
First of all you need to pat yourself on the back for finding out the truth about AOL and for disassociating yourself from AOL. Many people just carry on for convenience or for lack of courage.
Now that you know what a sham AOL is it is your moral responsibility to make your wife aware. The more she continues, the greater the hurt down the line.
The best way you can do this is to send an email to all Art of Living contacts you have, giving them this web-blog address & few others. Do so anonymously (not from your own email address) & email it to your wife & yourself too.
This will get the info out there in the group. Your wife will then have no option but to look at it & will give you a perfect opportunity to discuss it in a calm & non-confrontentional manner.
Do the right thing. Your wife will be grateful to you in long term.AOL is like a plague, the sooner you free yourself & your family from it the better. More people get out of this web of deception it makes it easier for others who are caught in it .
All the best for you & your family
Re: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sri-sri-ravi-shankar
Dear guruholic readers, huffingtonpost posts all comments from all users, if you have something to say, say it on huffingtonpost in addition to this blog. Please reply to the contents of Ravi Shankar's articles. Put the truth about his organization out there.
Anon 11:05 PM:
Thanks--It's a great idea to post comments on Huffington Post. There is already one comment there suggesting SSRS is only out for money. (yours?) It could save others from being hurt by the cult.
Speaking of sharing this blog with others and how it helps people, I tried to post this blog under comments on Huffington Post SSRS article but they would not post it. I did not say anything bad about SSRS or AoL so I don't know why they wouldn't post it. Maybe got flagged as spam. But anyway, someone else got it posted.
I also tried to post to Bawa and Dinesh's blog after Bawa posted an entry about all the comments he gets calling AoL a sham. Of course he didn't post it. I respect Klim much more for posting everything but abusive posts. It shows much more integrity, honesty, and willingness to listen. Not posting anything contrary to one's own beliefs shows the deep rooted denial and brainwashing that runs in cults. What a shame...I won't be wasting time reading his blog what with all the smiley faces and Jai Gurudevs.
Truth Seeker, I'd like to hear more details of your experiences if you care to share more in the future.
huffingtonpost.com article(values- elusive reality) must have been written by somebody else/ PR person of AOL as SSRS does have that much wisdom or streamlined thought process. At least contents of his discourses and his off the tract answers to questions seem to indicate that.
I agree. The huffington article is most probably written by a PR person.
Being married adults and posting here on this blog, I presume you're both mature and intelligent people with the ability to reason (I hope).
I'd really look at getting back my own life, friends, events and interests while explaining to the wife "AoL is not my thing, I swing to a different tune, but if that life suits you, I am not stopping you". I'd stand my ground and be ready with valid, convincing reasons for not buying into the AoL lifestyle.
You really need to figure out how this is going to end, based on her nature and level of blind devotion. It can only be one way or the other, there's no middle path.
Give her space, let her do her thing while you show her by example how free and happy an AoL free lifestyle can be like.
I'm telling you this because I am losing my wife to AoL and I think we're past the point of no return. If your wife is as adamant as mine, anything you say or do to even hint at questioning AoL will meet a stone wall. Our daughter is neglected, and that doesn't seem to matter to her. Had I stood my ground and opened my eyes earlier, seen how this would play out, and taken control of my life earlier, this would not have happened. We're now in talks of separation and I've engaged an attorney to help me get custody of my child.
I only hope and pray you don't reach that stage.
You said that your wife is deeply attached to satsang, sudarshan kriya and SSRS. Satsang and the sudarshan kriya (which is basically yoga) are very good for mind body and soul. You should try and show her how they are useful irrespective of AOL. Maybe enroll her into a yoga class or go for a satsang that is not held by AOL.
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