Sri Sri 90210

BY KLIM

I always found TV programs such as Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210, OC senselessly funny. Everyone sleeps with everyone, it’s all about the looks - who has what, who wears what, who said what, who did what - hysterical tenfold shallowness. Sadly, not that different from AoL. I jokingly referred to it as, “Sri Sri 90210” (little did I know he’d eventually buy his mansion near that zipcode! Watch out! I have my siddhis too! … should I start a movement?).

Before you realize, everyone in a satsang group would have, at some point or another, slept with one another, dated one another, cheated on one another. Some secretly, some publicly. The fact is one big magnet that pulls people to the AoL is not the knowledge, not the guru, not the Kriya, but the social activities, the opportunity to meet “boys and girls”, the company, the networking (for professional and personal purposes), the fashion statement. When you enter the AoL portal, you find yourself in an international community of contacts, fun-loving people who seem inoffensive in the outside, go out to dinners, hang out in the name of seva. You start feeling important, purposeful and full of friends.

For a long time it feels real. You start believing these are long-life friends, spiritual siblings – after all, you’ve shared your life story in 10 minutes so many times! You’ve gone through humiliating processes in courses, been criticized, confessed dark secrets … of course they have to be your close friends! …. Until you cross to the “other side” and you suddenly find yourself alone, abandoned, attacked, rejected, ignored. Not belonging to them, no longer agreeing with their beliefs, not participating in their same activities, not loving their guru makes you a worse enemy than the one they have not yet converted. Then you wonder where all the friendship, the belongingness, the unconditional love, the secrets and intimacy you’ve shared went! For them, you are a fallen disgraceful soul: “poor xxx, not a chance this life time, bad karma).

In the old Bhakti Sutra talks, Shankar states there are 3 types of people who seek for a guru: 1. Those in sorrow; 2. those curious; 3. Those who seek for enlightenment. Sounds right. But in the case of AoL, I dare state they fall instead into, 1. those looking to network for a better job or spouse; 2. those who feel lonely and/or inadequate/lost in the world; 3. those who feel purposeless, unwanted, bored. No matter in which category one falls, Ravi does not care as long as he gets free labor, an additional body to fill in a space for a picture that demonstrates large following, people to kiss his feet and praise him endlessly, more donations, and extra arguments to pursue the Nobel Peace Prize.

Today I see the AoL satsang environment, the international and local courses hysteria and histrionic fun - shallow, psychotic, immature, deceiving.

In the beginnings years, two kind of people went to RS: Those who left TM and were promised first row seats at the feet of the guru who claimed would take them to enlightenment, and those who wanted to have a spiritual experience with a guru who would give them knowledge and guidance. Around 1999, he changed the advanced courses, simplified many things including his talks and the length of public satsangs. His explanation: those who’d d join thereafter were not that evolved thus things needed to be adapted for them, “the dummies”. (So, if you joined after 1999, this is sadly what the beloved master thinks of you. )

I don’t recall the last time I spoke with him about spirituality. He never had time for that anymore but always for a, “how many?”, events, connections, prizes, money, his reputation, what others had achieved (creating a sense of competition between teachers, thus ego battles that led to more results). Curious, I asked many people when was the last time they had a conversation about spirituality with him. Noone could recollect but they could all remember the same question, “How many?” In any case, if there were any questions, they were more around the “should I marry this person? Should I move to …? Should I finish school? Should I do this or that?”

Actually, a “deserter” said the last time he asked him about his own spiritual growth, He pinched his nipple and asked what and how he liked to practice sex (?!) instead of attending his query.

As it is wildly known, Ravi likes to be surrounded by riches and the rich. You will never find a person from a poor social background traveling with him. Only “VIPs”.If you are in his room, you get to see the latest electronic gadgets, expensive brands, etc. He has the best and not because he is the best but because he likes the best. And thus, his devotees too. I have seen ashramites and full-time teachers spend the money they did not have to own the latest i-phone, computer, brand garment (or get a wealthy devotee to “donate” it to them), and change it all the time! I don’t blame them. Most of the ashramites and full-timers I have met do not come from wealthy backgrounds. Being exposed to all of that, with a Guru who likes to flash and hang out with those who can, must be tempting, and of course, the wish to emulate their beloved one. It was just hypocritical and again, shallow a-la-“90210”, the only difference being, those in the TV show really have that money to spend and Ravi spends the money of others, not his!

Finally, it is not just in the satsang communities that “swinger” activities go on, but at the ashrams too! You just would not believe what happens in the ashrams! One would think it is a “sattvic” place of meditation, seva, silence, celibacy. First of all, in the AoL the last thing one finds is SILENCE. Even in the part 2 course there is no silence. Maybe the students keep quiet, but, have you seen a teacher, even an advanced course teacher BE SILENT? They are the most “yacki-reeh-yack” people of all! They love listening themselves talk!

There is so much sleeping around at the ashrams though everyone claims to be chaste. If you only knew what happens behind those ashram walls! If only walls could speak! There’d be some crazy stories to tell! You’d be most shocked to find out who has slept with who, how, where and why! And Ravi knows it all!

(For those AoLers who are tempted to ask for evidence, as usual, “No, I don’t collect pictures or videos of people having sex, orgies or kinky stuff, especially not with the picture of a guru in the background and the smoke of incense.” If you need evidence to the luxury items Ravi likes and owns, just take a good look, or otherwise, check out his sister and nephews. If you want to make him a gift, keep this detail in mind and He will be very impressed and give you many vegetarian brownie points!)