LEAVING THE ART OF LIVING

Moving Beyond the Art of Living

2010-06-04T15:30:00.009-04:00

The few friends and family that know of the existence of this blog have been, since its conception, worried about the consequences of my involvement with it. I still find it funny that others perceive AoL as something dangerous, hostile, vicious, “capable of anything” whilst AoLers insist they’ll bring peace to the world with their Sudarshan Kriya and the Grace of their master. Having made the click in my head, I wonder today how they will actually change the world with a breathing technique and call that “conflict resolution”? Again, I go back to the question: what about me did not allow me to see through it all, and instead, just like my peers, found ways to justify the politics, the nasty things that went on behind the scenes, and the magical gullible thinking?

Friends, family, even I, myself look forward to the day I do not mention the Art of Living or Ravishankar again. Further, I look forward to the day I am fully fixed and free of the traumas the AoL left in my mind and health. Overall, it was an experience that snapped me out of stupidity and extreme ingenuity and abusable niceness. I learned great lessons and thank to them grew immensely.

This blog played a big role in my recovery, as well as the readers who supported and even those who insulted. I was able to drop my fears, confirm that my decision to leave was a sign of health and self-preservation that, thank God, still existed even if 0.5%, transcend the guilt and my past history with these people, see the AoL and the education I got there for what it is and not for what was marketed. Recognizing I once belonged to a cult and helped promote it comes with a lot of sensations that range from anger to shame.

The truth is I have been trying to leave the blog for a long long time. For one, I grow tired of hearing and discussing the AoL – they are not the best nor the most important thing in the world and should not occupy the space they do in my life. While RS was fully immersed in his belly button, feeling important with an attack that was not, there were serious problems going on in Gaza and other parts of the world. Though my new life still suffers the consequences of my years of involvement with AoL, it is new, great, free and mine. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have rediscovered spirituality in its true essence and I have recovered my own source of joy and authenticity. I am again who I am and not what I should be or programmed to be. Together with the help of invaluable friends and professionals I have been working on myself the way we did not in the AoL.

A good friend I wished would get involved in the group said after a few months, “People in the AoL do not work on themselves” and walked away. I never quite understood his remark until I left the movement. Of course! We faked it until we made it, we repressed negative emotions and real life desires, we worked on ourselves through SK, hollow and empties, and being in “the Presence”. It was a good for all package for people with different problems. How could that help anyone truly work on him/herself? The most common remark teachers and long-time devotees said was, “I feel stuck.” After all those years, noone changed, except becoming more feverish, aggressive, greedy, competitive. We worked on ourselves through seva: organizing courses and enrolling people. People were judged as good or bad based on how successful they were at organizing courses or enrolling, not on their behaviors and quality of the heart. Why not call it a business then, instead of cheating people with a promise of spiritual growth? To be honest, I doubt anyone would be upset then.

To my dislike, readjusting, deprogramming, recovering, reinventing oneself is a long challenging process, however, I trust my new life should only be as good and even better than it was pre-AoL. When people ask me what I learned with AoL, I say, “I learned everything one should never do in life!” I learned the worst side of human beings, I learned that anything that creates separation, or takes one to any extreme is not healthy, I learned never to give my power again, I learned not to accept any abuse from anyone anymore, I learned to discriminate, I learned to live with opposite values, I learned to distinguish a manipulator, psychopath from miles away, but above all, I learned to love and value myself.

Ravishankar robbed me of many precious things in life. Most importantly, my faith and thirst for knowledge. I must confess I am still quite allergic to any kind of practices, satsang, new age talks, swamis and gurus, and still have problems trusting people or my own decisions. In my opinion, robbing someone’s faith and spiritual yearning is his worst crime. Fortunately, he was unable to take away my integrity, courage, authenticity and hutzpa. If Krishna stole the mind, RS stole the soul.

When I recently saw pictures of former colleagues who are still caught in the web, I was shocked to notice something was absent in them, as if their soul was not there and their expression dull. It’s funny I used to think they were bright! I whole-heartedly wish them the best. In fact, I pray they open their eyes and gather the courage to snap out of it. If they don’t, I wish they remained completely numb so that they never need to deal with the pain of realization. I truly wish everyone the best, including RS, who projects anything but peace, joy or relaxation. Unfortunately to him, there will always be someone better out there, and people finding flaws in him. Surprisingly, that pushes the buttons he still has. Power and fame corrupt even the ones good at heart, I guess.

This last incident-that-was-not, humored me but also bored me intensely. It became all too obvious, just as it became obvious that my time with the blog had reached its end. It’s a drag to still have AoL in my life even if through writing, further, my healing through it has reached its end. I can still write a lot about it but the subject has become tedious. They are who they are and we know what they are. What matters is I am free, you are too and soon, many will be too.

AoLers may cheer this announcement, or even think I am doing it out of fear of retaliation. On the contrary, because I realized I no longer fear their threats that I realized my healing through the blog came to an end. Moreover, honestly, how much longer is one willing to “read” those imbalanced, vicious, all-righteous fanatics? or write about these insanities? Even a guruholic in recovery like myself has a limit. At the end of the day, not only is it flabbergasting but also very sad. Most of those nasty coo-koo commentators I knew, hang out with and loved.

“Confessions of a Guruholic” will remain in cyberspace. Hopefully more people will find it and find solace reading it. I have plans to fully live my new life “art of living free”, with its many undefined projects waiting to anchor and blossom. I shall miss everyone and this lovely space of healing. If I ever have the itch, I may contribute in Beyond the Art of Living.

I have come to terms with those “friends” and students who betrayed me. I know my students did not have another choice. They did not act upon values but for “the cause”. Brain-washed, I most likely would have done the same. I wish they open their eyes soon and find sincerity and transparency again in their lives. I see my “friends” did not have another choice but to stab me and later hate me too for what they did. I know they suffer daily for just too many years. You’d be surprised how many senior teachers are depressed, lonely and in angst most of the time. Their hearts are sour but they don’t mean ill. They are ill and do not get the care and attention they really need. Furthermore, I no longer feel guilty for having brought so many people to “the path” and starting so many centers. At some point, we are all adults responsible for our choices. There are those who go and those who stay. Those who choose to stay obviously have issues to solve, just like I had too. I have even forgiven my basic course teacher. She was truly a nice lady – lost but good-hearted. Finally, I have even dropped Ravishankar from my existence. He is a sad sick man who truly believes he is God-almighty and his own delusions of greatness.

Let there be only love, healing and discernment for us all who woke up. Tough love, or rather, sick love taught me that spirituality happens whether you seek for it or not, practice it or not. God has made us perfect just as he has made life perfect.

As many readers predicted, a book project is baking in the oven. Maybe next time we meet will be in the midst of the beautiful scent of paperback pages, on your night table as you turn around just when you are about to fall asleep. Hopefully, sharing my experiences "in the path" has further added insights in your life. May you not make the same mistakes I did. At least, be creative and make new ones. But above all, cherish, love and value yourself. Do now what I did not do for so many years, turning, thus, into an easy prey of spiritual abuse and a brain-washed guruholic.

I have been looking for sponsors to help with the book project. If you wish to collaborate or better, finding possible sponsors or editors, it will greatly be appreciated.

So long for now. I wish you the best. Wish me the best.
Cheers to spiritual freedom and truth!

Proverbs 16:10-16 The Message

2010-06-03T19:42:00.004-04:00

A good leader motivates, doesn't mislead, doesn't exploit.

God cares about honesty in the workplace; your business is his business.

Good leaders abhor wrongdoings of all kinds; sound leadership has a moral foundation.

Good leaders cultivate honest speech; they love advisors who tell them the truth.

An intemperate leader wreaks havoc in lives; you're smart to stay clear of someone like that.

Good-tempered leaders invigorate lives; they're like spring rain and sunshine.

Get wisdom - it's worth money; choose insight over income every time.

Food for Thought: Does it really matter?

2010-06-01T10:37:00.003-04:00

As sad and disrespectful as it may seem, I only have one statement to make, “I really don’t care.” Do you realize this one incident is very insignificant in the world that matters? What does it matter if it was meant for Ravishankar or someone else? What does it matter if it was a terrorist attack or an internal rivalry? It won’t change my life and it certainly won’t change yours. It may, however, change the lives of those who are still in the AoL, but that is also not a problem. I thank my aggressors every minute for having helped me get out of that blurry world.

The fact I write about it does not mean anything other than I am writing about it, just as a journalist writes about a story. There are days I have more time to moderate the comments, and there are days I don't. There are days I don't care, there are days I feel motivated to. It is only clicking a button after all! Writing for this blog has helped me see through a lot of things in me and in the AoL phenomena, as I understand it has also helped many current and former devotees process their confusion and pain. It was not just me. I know there are a lot out there going through what I went through for so long.

The only thing that makes me sad though is to see the hatred, feverishness, fanaticism, thought process, lust, greed, immaturity that the AoL commentators project with their comments. Yet, with all due respect, of course, they are convinced they make smart remarks and are absolutely correct in their conclusions. Where did the spirituality go? How can they teach and spread spirituality when they handle those who don't agree with them this way? At least I am not teaching anymore and probably, like many, I should have never taught at all. It is not just about reciting a few cute phrases or counting 4-4-6-2 or pressing a play button to a So Ham tape. Not even Ravishankar lives the knowledge, and if the teachings led people to true spirituality, then many things that happen, would not happen, and an AoL police would not be here together with other devotees posting with aggression. There is a lot more responsibility involved than one fathoms in teaching those courses. I would think true spirituality should lead one to greater humbleness and all-encompassion.

However, their minds and practice are all about good vs. bad, you vs. me, us vs. they, policing those who do not agree or control, whether they are out or in the AoL. Sadly, it happens also to teachers and volunteers inside the organization! But, as I grew out of it, I found out life is a lot more than that!

Believing that those who do not agree or do not see RS as the God almighty does not mean anything but simply that. What happened with “not seeing intentions behind people’s mistakes” then? Why can’t they see it as just as mistake? There is a lot of ignorance in the world and as far as it concerns me, it is all relative. Maybe I am ignorant for not seeing Ravi as god, maybe they are ignorant for seeing Ravi as god. At the end of the day, does it really matter? The truth is it only matters to them.

Some of the people whose comments are the most nasty are people I remember way back when they just joined the movement and/or even before they became teachers. Most of them were very nice and sweet people. Somehow, inevitably, as people become teachers and get more and more involved, something shifts and the niceness disappears. I wonder what will happen to these people if AoL falls one day, or if RS decides to run away with USD 7 million like Nithyananda did.

There is no good vs. bad, no us vs. they. As far as it concerns me, they can blame me of anything they want, insult as much as they need to. Of course, with an incident that hits so close, someone needs to be blamed because otherwise it could only mean there are problems inside the organization and RS. How can anyone, but a disgruntled idiot, not like RS? I was shocked myself when I found out there are many out there! Reading the Guruphiliac and other articles that questioned the AoL or denounced certain discrepancies was perhaps one of the most shocking yet liberating experiences after I left the organization. I had been convinced for so many years AoL was the best and if anyone doubted it, it was due to ignorance, jealousy, bad karma, low prana. One of the most embarrassing moments in my recent life was when someone asked the name of the organization I belonged to for so many years and a day later, having not shared anything about it or the reason why I left, said, “How long did it take you to realize it is a scam?” I was stunned. How did it take me so many years to realize but one second for this guy? To make matters worse, as the first AoL hate comments started flowing into the blog yesterday, I sent a few to him to see and he said, “You are not taking them seriously, are you? These people act like teenagers and write brainlessly!” Again. How did it take me so long to realize this but one second for this guy?

Thus, I always come back to the question: what inside me did not allow me to see thru the truth and instead permitted so much abuse in my life? What was wrong in me? I don't hate them. I know they have no other choice but to attack me and anyone else in my similar stand. People like me challenge the comfort zone in their mind and heart. If anything, I feel bad for them. Nothing about the AoL comes with peace, soothingness, belongingness, harmony. Do I remember those days!

Of course, reading these hate mails is not fun (and I know it upsets many) but it certainly confirms my decision to leave this toxic community. I pat myself in the back realizing I no longer fear them and my mind is clearer everyday. Sadly, I probably had become zombie like them at some point or the other. It is impossible not to when that is your environment, association, language and education, and when one is trained to be and think that way. It is impossible to reason with them. It is impossible to reason with arrogance, self-righteousness and greed. They have their fanaticism to defend, but beyond that, they have feelings and a life to defend and justify. Waking up to the truth, questioning the validity of it all is a lot more painful. I went through it. I know.

They take this blog as a personal attack, they see intentions, they fire hatred, as if I was the only one who thinks and feels this way and in an act they are convinced is "ahimsa". How contradictory of all their teachings and actions? Maybe I was the first one to have the courage to express myself in a written form, publicly. But there are many out there too. Perhaps Vinay was luckier for getting only one bullet in his thigh. These bullets of hatred and insanity in the form of comments and blog persecution are a lot worse. But, unfortunately, nothing that is not familiar to me of the AoL days. Fortunately, I was well groomed for it during my extensive stay with them.

Believe it or not, I don’t care if AoL falls or not, if RS comes out of the closet or not (not in the sexual connotation). I repeat, this blog is just my journal to help me heal and deprogram. If I was interested in exposing or defaming, I would be writing different stories, with full names and details. This blog has served its purposed in marvelous ways and thru the writing, I have gained "consciousness" after a long deadly comma.

Art of Living-free people: please do not waste anymore time with this incident. It really does not matter who was the target nor the contradictions of the stories. We left. We are free. We own our minds and lives again. Is there anything more important than that? Just sit back, relax, let them feel important and enjoy the fun of the drama. Someone will tell you the end of the story. Whether the truth of the incident is unveiled or not, it also does not matter. Not everything that is good prevails and not everything that is bad falls. The only thing that matters is we are free! And it certainly feels SO GOOD to be Art of Living-free!

I do wish everyone the best. I do wish my former friends find peace beyond the indoctrination and fanaticism. I do wish Ravi the best too. He is a guy who started with good intentions (I hope) and I do hope that at some point, he remembers what they were.

The only truth is there is a lot more to the world than the Art of Living. The Art of Living does not even account for 1% of the world population and, just as it came, so shall it go. It is the nature of life. Wasn’t that one of the pillars of knowledge?

It is all changing.

Peace.

Liar, liar, pants on fire!

2010-05-30T18:55:00.006-04:00

Ravishankar loves being the center of attention and definitely loves being in the news. Again, he made it. Times of India writes on the 31st of May 2010, “Sri Sri Ravi Shankar escapes bid on life as man fires at car.”

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Sri-Sri-Ravi-Shankar-escapes-bid-on-life-as-man-fires-at-car/articleshow/5992391.cms

I know that an incident like this should provoke some sympathy or pity in me towards him. I know. But, even if I try hard, I find nothing but laughter. I know it is politically incorrect but I find it humorous.

Here it is. The guy who spoke down on Gandhiji, insinuating that the man known for his message of non-violence, “ahimsa”, died in a violent way because he had violence within. Here is the man who waved off female devotees raped or beaten up by his devotees by telling them it was their fault or that they deserved it since “Violence attracts violence. Your karma.” Here it is. The man who always boasted nothing would ever happen to him because he was pure love, while speaking ill of other gurus, attacked by gunfire.

It truly amazes me how skillful he is at turning things around and manipulating people. “Violence attracts violence”, he always insisted, but when he is the one attracting violence he says, “For one who is established in non-violence, all kinds of hostility ceases.” Gee! How convenient! Can you please make up your mind? Is that how he will distract everyone from the incident that actually counts? That HE attracted violence to himself, even for just that moment, even if the attack did not fulfill its purpose?! HE ATTRACTED VIOLENCE.

At the end of the day, he turns the knowledge up and down in whichever way satisfies his needs. But, like a friend cleverly said, “Maybe he should listen to more knowledge.”

To make it worse, I guess his act had its effect on some people since someone left a comment in this blog blaming “disgruntled people” for the attack.

You got to be kidding me! Honey, wake up! Is RS never responsible for anything? When he attacks, he is helping us grow and eliminate our bad karmas. But when he is attacked, it is our fault. The truth is more disgruntled people should come out to do something about all the illegal activities that occur thru and in his organization, ranging from exploitation, to swindling, to cheating, to physical abuse, to sexual harassment and fondling, etc. He himself, not a little blog, is responsible for today’s attack. And, I bet it is not the first time nor the first person who has wanted to “get rid of him.” Believe it or not, he has broken too many families and ruined the lives of just too many.

For a long time after the Silver Jubilee, a heavily criticized event for its poor organization, mess, money scam and high level of unjustifiable narcissism, Bhanu and RS spent month trying to create pity on people by saying over and over again how he received so many threats, but despite it all, he kept the show going for his devotees and world peace. It was their lame way of distracting people from the obvious: the event was another failure and scam. He was “so busy” saving us from bombs and envious people. Back then, I remember hearing it with admiration. His life was at stake yet he kept the show going for the love of his devotees and the world! I still remember even the tone in which they'd speak about it just so that we'd feel bad. "Such an amazing guy! The world cannot stand so much light."

However, today’s news made me wake up and realize for the first time: for Heaven’s sake, he put thousands of life at risk just so that he could a few days of self-gratification and beat a Guiness record? Highly irresponsible. He is too narcissistic to worry about anyone else but himself.

I must be cured because today he did not manage to provoke any sympathy, pity or admiration for him, and definitely no guilt, but just disgust and humor. I am laughing at the lack of coherence and the obvious manipulation and sociopathology. I am laughing because today I see him very very very small. So pathetically small. I would not even be surprised if he planned it all just to get more news and distract people from the bad publicity he has been getting. Fame through pity sometimes work but I hope it won't.

At least in this blog, sympathy, guilt and pity won’t do it. Ravi & CO. still need to show more accountability, transparency and integrity. I still hope more people open their eyes to realize the farce. In his own words, “Karma is catching up, baby. Check on the violence inside you. Maybe you should do more seva? Have you been doing your sadhana everyday?”

Important note: Having expressed all of the above, it is important to clarify I do not wish RS anything bad, and definitely, I am glad nothing bad happened to him. I do not mean to ridicule the situation but I find humor in the incoherence and obvious manipulation of knowledge given the event, while at the same time, it is a self-reflection of how brain-washed I used to be, having fallen into the trap of those mind games too. I am aware the arguments in this article may offend some people. Apologies if it does.

Perfect message in a classic rhyme:

Liar, liar, pants on fire,
Hanging by a thread on a telephone wire!

Run Forrest! Run!!!!

2010-05-28T12:25:00.008-04:00

BY KLIM

Teachers come and go. Just as devotees come and go. In fact, contrary to the AoL declarations, more go than come, and it is few who stay. Yet, despite all that fuzz AoL makes around the “sacred tape”, when a teacher leaves, they do not demand him/her to return the tape and manuals. It is often the teacher him/herself who does it out of a sense of duty or just to get rid of “that”; or otherwise, if in an area there is a despotic teacher, that one will most likely savor the opportunity to exercise the power and authority to request for them. All in all, the saddest funniest thing is the one returning the tape is happy, the one demanding for it is mad. I then wonder, actually how truly sacred is that tape and those manuals after all? How real is the copyright symbol we see in almost all their materials!?

There is a big dramatization around how difficult and sacred it is to have that tape, as if it was some Holy Grail. One needs to go thru torturous TTC, where bashing and smashing are part of the payment, thousands of dollars in course fees, followed by endless expenses that come before and thereafter organizing courses to prove one is deserving, attending courses to keep purifying, following RS for a drop of grace or two, buying books and tapes, etc. As a former teacher friend of mine said, “Don’t return the tape. You paid for it.” I had never thought about it until I heard it. Cheers to that wise observation and advise!

Unlike all other former teachers I know, RS asked for my tape when I turned down his offer to buy my silence. It was the first time I fully reckoned “the guru has a big ego" - a combination of hurt huge ego and worry is what I finally concluded. As funny as it seems, he worries I will create my own stuff, teach courses with the material he plagiarized and put in the form of “Art of Living courses”. Bottom line, that I become a competition. In another lifetime, I could have prided his fear is an indication of my competence. However, in this lifetime, I find it pathetic for it is revealing of the true nature of the organization and how little did he really know me. Though for a long time his bashing haunted me in paralyzing effects that impeded me from doing anything, today I realize I am more capable than I have ever been accredit for, and that because of it, RS and CO. trashed me but not before extracting all the juice out of me.

Though this blog was created out of a personal need, and a humble and shameful space, perhaps I am not wrong to state this is one proof of it. When I hear the efforts he is doing with his teams to undermine this blog, a little voice in my head says, “You want to copy even a blog you copy-cat? You are seriously afraid of a little blog? Of a little someone you trashed? You should have been nicer to me and I would have blogged in your favor! ;) ”

On another hand, another ex full-timer got this note from the "Holy Offices of His Excellency": “Further, we would like to state that you cannot use our name or any of our techniques / content for any purpose whatsoever.”

If anything, one cannot argue they are hilarious - hilariously arrogant and stupid. They try too hard to be the best and the professionals they are not. Maybe they should try harder. What does he mean? That this person, or in any case, all of us who left, cannot breathe, meditate, be vegetarian, do yoga, accept people as they are, live the present moment, not see intentions behind people’s mistakes anymore? It reminds me of the time he ridiculed the journalist who asked him if AoL was for everyone and he replied, “What do you mean? Breathing is not for everyone?” Ravi, dear, you really contradict yourself too much yet you still think the world is stupid?!

In a self-analysis and criticism, I notice that many teachers (especially full-timers) have in common 1. a distorted combination of arrogance and low self-esteem. The more arrogant the teacher is, the lower their self-esteem; 2. an unreal need to get the approval of a paternal figure/authority/people in general - in this case, RS and, often, students; 3. an incapacity to cope with their own life, a need to run away/hide/shelter from something; 4. some almost cute degree of gullibility; 5. the more involved, extreme behaviors that include being abusive, lacking sympathy, non-stop crying, sudden shouting (called, as per AoL teachers, "pita outbreak"), vulnerability, constant ups and downs, and unmeasurable anger, etc.; 6. some intense desire/need to serve, though for some, an intense desire to be served.

As a full-timer/teacher leaves, the sense of vacuum is too vast many don’t know how to cope with it. The sense of guilt and shame are overwhelming. The feeling of incapacity – the head does not work, the memory is not there, the ability to use the intellectual faculties neither, the lack of sense of reality with regards to the world, the loss of friendships/family/ networking, the lack of curriculum to find a job, the lack of financial means and many times, legal paperwork, problems with the spine. You go from being surrounded by people, emails, importance to absolutely NOTHING. Not even one email from your best pal asking how you are. Even worse, the one you considered even more important than your own life and family is nowhere to be found, but you still remember he told you he’d love and take care of you for ever. The inner struggle and pain are, thus, excruciating and confusing.

Furthermore, many teachers (especially full-timers) leave with a sense of paranoia. Often when I talk with one they underline the same phrase many times: “Please do not tell anyone what I told you. Promise you won’t tell.” One is constantly fearful people will be discussing about you or that someone is going to betray you by divulging something about you. In fact, being more exposed to the lions and to the war zone, a full-timer is more vulnerable, has been more abused and been under more abusers, thus, more exposed to betrayals than anyone else. A friend is never a friend but a potential enemy who will sell you at any given time but until then and despite it all, you belong to each other and you got to reciprocate "to be in the knowledge". At the end of the day, it is inevitable one develops some degree of neurosis and paranoia.

Unfortunately, I still don’t know of any teacher who has left immaculate from the organization. Using AoL words, no one has left “stronger, more capable to cope with the world and difficulties, more centered, at peace and mature”. To begin with, the psychological trauma one has to overcome and all that comes with it is not a deal of just a few months, a year or two. Many, still scarred by the AoL brain-wash are ashamed of seeking therapy. The physical damages require all sorts of medical supervision that not even doctors understand. Unfortunately, it is not until one gets strong that one can take care of life, step by step. In the meantime, trying to find a job, earn money, learn to be in the world again, make new friends (or, in some cases, make friends!), patch holes with the family (which often one ignored for so long). It is not easy at all, certainly, not quick either. Looking back, I see a gap in my life and, gee! I got to catch up!

I am lucky I kept in touch with non-AoL friends who, despite always knowing I was in a cult, offered me unconditional support, compassion, empathy and love. Without them, recovery would have been even more difficult. The loneliness, confusion, disappointment, pain I felt for so long, and which sometimes still hit me are so deep, the only thing that serves as consolation is reminding myself that being in that shithole, loosing my freedom and my own identity is worse. Somehow, one is a phantom citizen who reappeared on Earth after a long absence, as if one resuscitated from a comma.

I feel those who are still living in La-La land need to hear the other side of a story too. The one not many dare to share but exists. If the education we got in AoL was that good, I guarantee, most senior old-time teachers would not be there anymore! Setting someone free is a sign of growth and love. Believe me, most senior teachers are not there because of their conviction, love and faith in the path but rather, because they fear not making it in the world! They are broken individuals themselves but are the role models in AoL. At the end of the day, instead of uplifting human values, one looses the value of oneself and those that should be practiced.

My basic course teacher was eager I became a full-timer but when I was big time screwed by the AoL and when the damages of being a full-timer became evident, especially financially, she was not there for me either. It is like the story RS tells in the Ashtavakra: the man stole for his wife and his children to have a good life, but when he asked them if they’d share the karma of the actions with him, they said, “No way.”

When I was a full-timer people praised me for my courage and selflessness. Everyone reminded me I’d get such good merits. They admired me. They wanted to be my friend. I wonder, does not being a full-timer for RS now mean I don’t have courage, selflessness, good merits, virtues? What does it say about those who help you only when you belong to their same beliefs? Is that not cultic behavior after all? Fanaticism? You’d be surprised to know how many people are afraid of helping a former full-timer even though they know the abuse the person went through and the struggle therafter. It still upsets me when I hear of someone donating to the AoL phantom seva projects, despite knowing about the frauds, but won’t give someone whose life was spoiled by it even masala for one cup of chai.

There is nothing glorious about being a full-timer or a part-time teacher. It is gloriously stupid to give ones life to a fraud. Seva can be done in myriad ways and anywhere. Growth can happen without locking oneself to an organized path. Spirituality can occur at all times, without the need to kiss anyone’s feet or abide to any practices. Giving up one's life, avoiding it, pausing it, giving it away is not a solution or a sign of superiority. Certainly, it should not be an option.

Learn from those who today have the courage to share their mistakes, pain and struggle. As one of my favorite movies wisely said, “Run Forrest! Run!!!!”

YES. RUN!!!

"It's our choices Harry, that show us what we truly are, far more than our abilities." (Harry Potter)

A Full-Timer Night's Dream

2010-05-24T23:05:00.003-04:00

BY KLIM

Since I left the AoL, many teachers have too. And as they do, I hear from them one by one. Though the details of the stories may vary, in essence they are very much the same. However, inevitably, the inner conflict each one has before leaving and the damages one walks out with are very similar, varying perhaps just in depth and length, or on whether one was a full-time or part-time teacher.

Though comparing who suffered most is not fair in any case of abuse, I do notice that full-timers leave with a heavier load to deal with.

As I lately have been lending an ear to a few former colleagues/ full-time teachers, I can’t help but ponder on the circumstances that lead us to the array of sensations, reactions, habits, fears post “cult-exit”. The thought, “it is just like a dream …. a bad dream … like a midsummer night’s dream” kept ringing in my head like a rhyme to a poem, and thus, the title “A full-timer night’s dream”. As I read Shakespeare’s masterpiece, I laughed at the realization it has a lot in common with that which we lived in the AoL. Of course, Shakespeare’s was a comedy, a grand master piece. Ravishankar’s is a version of cheap tragic comedy, a master fraud. But it definitely shares the leit-motifs of deception, fantasy made reality, authority becoming archaic, the dark side of love, magical thinking.

Becoming a “full-time teacher” is, without any doubt, the dream of most AoLers, of all ages. My own basic course teacher’s dream was I became a full-time teacher. Full-timers somehow fall into the trick of feeling somehow “the chosen ones”, as if the status of full-time exploited slave was a sign of higher evolution. I have witnessed people beg Ravishankar to let them be a full-timer. I have also witnessed people manipulate Ravishankar into being a full-timer. I have even seen people to which RS clearly said, “No” turn around and inform the world they were blessed to be a full-timer. I have also known of many cases of teachers who self-nominate themselves full-timers because they have no other responsibilities and don’t need to worry about money (usually rich ladies). In some cases, I need to give Ravi some credit. I have heard him instruct some to finish school or to get married. But, understanding beyond the apparent concern, he was very smart at who he made full-timer or not.

If one was young with a lot of money and/or an important family background/name, he’d usually tell them to finish school, marry, be in politics or be in Daddy’s business to get more money for the “seva projects”. If one was older with a lot of money, he’d also have them pretend to be a full-timer while he grabbed their money and literally, their free labor. Expenses usually would not be reimbursed to these people, neither a stipend or a 10% income. They were wealthy! That is their underline duty given their good karma!

On a large scale, usually either extremely efficient, charismatic young people with obedient and unquestioning minds and good hearts, or the very easy manipulated, highly ambitious people with no mind at all, or the ones hiding from the world/life, or otherwise those who could not do anything in the world, were made full-timers. A sad truth which ends usually in, one is good for him until he sucks one dry or until one starts to think of his/her own and/or starts to see through the unethical practices of the organization and the Ravishankar sociopathic behaviours. At that moment, his unconditional love suddenly disappears, though, of course, he makes you understand back-stabbing you, kicking you in the ass, lying about you, etc. are all part of his love for you, his sacrifice for your growth.

I never quite liked the “Catholic” expression of growth through suffering, but unfortunately, out of habit and after a while, as a full-timer, one recognized that as the norm. Some full-timers even felt proud of having to suffer through it with no food, difficulties getting medical treatment, no housing, no basic needs. The overall common worry all full-timers went through at some point or the other was so overwhelming, many started “taking care” of their situation by keeping money "on the side". Unfortunately, some take advantage of their status as a full-timer to get freebies through “illegal enrichment”. As time goes by, I recognize all the neurotic attitudes and thinking processes I acquired from my years of involvement as a full-timer. Even today, I worry about what will happen to me tomorrow. The constant fear that I won’t be taken care of, or that I won’t have to eat, or that I won’t know where I will sleep, or that plans change without any reason nor back-up plan, is a neurosis I constantly struggle with. I do the daily exercise of reminding myself the world works with more accountability.

Whereas I don’t care if AoL falls or not, I do worry about the youngsters who enroll everyday and even more, those who die to be a full-timer and all those he is actually making full-timers. When one is young, one is too idealistic and naive to understand "god" may back-stab you too.

If I could do it all over again, I wished some reasonable adult would have knocked me out of the stupidity of becoming a full-timer. Today I struggle, not only because I paused my professional career, but also the possibility of getting a higher degree, which could have helped me get a better job, but mainly I paused my personal life. At my age, all my friends are owners of a beautiful homes, car, vacations, family. When I look at my own life, I see a gap. Trying to catch up where I left 15 or more years ago is not something one does in just one split second. Not to mention, the struggle to get by financially.

When I became a full-timer some people gave me stuff to help me out. When I left, no one helped me back to life. Most did not even speak to me again. And believe me, that is what and when I most needed help! Somehow, I went into oblivion and instead of getting that Divine help and "I belong to you" I was made to believe I signed up for for ever, instead, I get written threats and a damaged psychological condition, dyslexia, memory problems and endless bills spent in recovering my health.

Reinserting in society is not an easy process neither is reinventing oneself.

I was perhaps one of the first generation of full-timers, thus I did not have any other reference. Today I see how damaged all these senior full-timers are, and I remember our conversations in which each one cried, cursed, blamed, yelled. Those include TTC teachers, presidents, advanced course teachers, meditation teachers, swamis. One thing we learned well: to keep up the good face, the smile and fake it until we made it, but behind the doors, even some well-known TTC/Blessings course teacher have yelled out, "This is a sect! How do I get out of a sect? I am stuck! What can I do now in life?" Looking back, “being the chosen one” is actually the worst curse. Most senior teachers are still where they are because they don't have the guts to go back to life and be a nobody or face the challenge and reality that they will most likely not get a job or be respected in the world.

Thus, to the young people out there: “Study, get a degree, don’t give up anything, do seva on your side, be realistic, think with your two feet on the ground, ask yourself what are you really trying to evade that you want to run away from life? The organization will not take care of you and you won’t be a special case. Be realistic. Cherish your life, your skills, yourself, open your eyes.”

In Shakespeare’s words: “An overflow of good converts to bad.”

New blog on the block

2010-05-20T15:55:00.007-04:00

Check out the new blog on the block "Beyond the Art of Living - a Critique of Art of Living and Sri Sri Ravi Shankar http://www.aolfree.wordpress.com

and the Facebook group "No, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is not enlightened"

Kudos to Skywalker!

Happy Free-Day (and new blog)

2010-05-13T11:59:00.009-04:00

BY KLIM

There was a time that on this date, May 13th, we'd congratulate each other with a "happy birthday", and of course, move around with anticipation of the big date, event, overflowing ecstasy to celebrate the birthday of the one we considered our "guru", our spiritual master, our best friend, the one who knew our soul and loved us unconditionally, even beyond death.

Plenty of times I heard RS state the entire world would celebrate his 80th birthday. The UN would one day be singing bhajans in his honour and sing him happy birthday. In fact, coincidentally, when he turns 50, the AoL turns 25 - silver and gold jubilee - he made it a point to highlight this fact, as if it was some Divine planning and we, somehow, brain-dead, gasped in surprise and fascination.

Back then, brain-washed, brain-dead, enchanted and fooled by this "package of promises and apparent perfection", we did not question the self-centeredness and absolute narcissism of the matter. Today, when I look back, I puke in disgust at the thought of it all. How did I not figure out earlier this was about a highly self-centered man who is too enamored by his own image and whose libido depends on abusing and extracting at the expense of innocent souls? The ones manipulable because of their idealistic nature and love for serving humankind, and the ones with some degree of psychological instability, vulnerability and need? It is all about him and he rejoices in it. I guess when he talks about "stop thinking about me me me", he actually means, "only think of him him him" - from "me" to "Him" (Ravishankar "HIM") lies the key of AoL joy. The more devotion people pour on him, the more power he seems to get. He even seems bigger! And even bigger in India where crowds are larger. "Vampirism" is a term that comes to mind.

Today is a day I ponder on my own mistakes as I still struggle with the ghosts of my past and the sporadic traumatic flashbacks that hit here and there. As much as I'd love to erase those many years of cult abuse in a just a magic touch, since there is no magic that can undo that, I choose to live it with responsibility, the courage to face each challenge step by step, and the loneliness this entails. Little acts like learning to trust in people again, remembering not everyone I meet will be such psychotic "asses", learning to discern again between good and bad and trust my own intuition, trusting I won't make the same mistakes again, deleting all the psychological abuses RS himself and company churned in my mind, may be insignificant to the average person, but a leap of faith of huge distances for someone like me. I guess, above all, understanding that if one failed once, if one was fooled once, one will not fail and be fooled again. In fact, I am of the opinion that it is those who manage to make the painful exit of cult abuse that are strong. Succumbing to it is the weakness he and the system need in order to succeed.

May 13th is a date I unfortunately probably will never forget because of what it represents in my life - the deception, the abuse, the lies, the manipulation, the psychosis, the sociopathy, my years of innocence, idealism, fanaticism, brain-washing, irrationality ... mere stupidity. Thus, I also have chosen to make this my day of freedom.

I recently heard someone say, "Without freedom of expression there is no evolution."

May I, you, we never forget the beauty and value of freedom of the soul, freedom of expression, freedom of the mind, freedom of living, and to, first and foremost, value and trust ourselves. If God and one are ONE then growth, evolution, spirituality is within and does not, should not ever depend on anyone else, and even less, giving our power away. Cherish and love yourself. We were once deceived not because we were stupid or had "bad karma". We were innocent and idealist souls. Let's humbly learn from our mistakes and cultivate that mind and heart that once inspired us to find a spiritual path and selflessly serve others. Learning from my mistakes and having the courage of admitting them is a wealth that I can proudly call mine. Let's pave our path with awareness, self-love, trust, and knowledge founded in our hearts, with precious care, critical thinking and responsible freedom.

Happy Free-Day to you all! And a true "Victory to the Guru that dwells inside you", that guru which is you and only you.

And as a perfect birthday present, check out the new blog: www. aolfree.wordpress.com and, though numbers don't matter, in a sarcastic note, please note that this is the only related to AoL thing that is truly what it is and not manipulated information by anyone: "Confessions of a Guruholic" has reached more than 100,000 hits in less than 6 months. "Celebrate in silence"? ;)

Life after leaving AoL

2010-05-09T07:46:00.001-04:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

During my recent Spring-cleaning effort, I was astonished at the volume of AoL materials I had amassed over the years. Boxes of unused flyers and promotional materials, file after file of course documentation and accounting paperwork, piles of course registration forms, shelves of books with rs’s face prominently displayed on the cover (with his characteristic “I am enlightened” expression), boxes of tapes and CDs of “knowledge” or satsang music, name tags, note cards, and other assorted course supplies had lined my storage unit and invaded my office and living spaces for years. As I sorted through it all, and took a good look at each piece of evidence of my long-term and deep involvement with AoL, I was reminded of the countless hours and dollars I had wasted on a facade. But instead of feeling the usual resentment toward AoL and rs for taking advantage of mine (and others’) good intentions, I was overcome with a sense of liberation as I hauled all that stuff to the dumpster. When I reflect on the events that have brought me to this point, a place I would have never imagined coming to even a year ago, I am left wondering why I didn’t wipe AoL out of my life even sooner.

It has taken quite a while for me to wean myself away from AoL, and at times I needed support from others to get through it. It took at least two years of reluctant involvement with the org and suppressing that feeling of “something’s not quite right” for me to finally take the plunge and announce that I was leaving. What really helped me in that transition phase was the support and encouragement I got from loved ones (who saw right through the cult from the very first day), and the space provided by the Guruphiliac blog to share my experiences. It took two months after that initial decision to leave AoL for me to stop doing the kriya altogether. It had been such a deeply ingrained habit--I rarely missed a day in 6 years. At first, I was afraid that I would lose my “centeredness” and “glow” after sadhana. All it took was a little research into the effects of hyperventilation on the body for me to realize that sk is harmful, and to drop it completely. And believe it or not, I am still very centered, and I have since been complemented on my “glow”, so I gather that there was never any connection. It took me another month or so to start eating meat again, and another several months to take a sip of champagne at a wedding—my first sip of alcohol after many many years. And no, I have not gotten depressed, drained of energy, eaten by doubts, or turned into a pumpkin due to “low prana”. Quite the opposite, actually, I have never felt more healthy and alive.

I realize that during the past several months, I have been in the process of re-building myself. Through the years I had been involved with AoL, I gradually allowed the aol dogma and the herd mentality to overwrite my own independent thinking. I became one of those puppet aol teachers who wore light-colored clothes and a plastic smile while parroting the dogma. But on the inside, I would be suppressing my own preferences, desires, and “negative” emotions such as fear and anger. Anytime I needed to make a big life decision, I was encouraged by “senior” teachers to seek guidance from “Guruji” in the form of a private conversation (if I was lucky), or an e-mail (I was told he reads them all), or a prayer (because apparently he answers them all). I did what “Guruji” and the teachers and the group expected of me, and in that process, I forgot who I was. To this day, I still cannot recall the old me who got lost, and I find myself left having to fill in the blanks to re-build my own personality.

Just a year ago, I would have told you that I hate onions and garlic (because they have “low prana”), that coffee is bad for you, that I don’t like to wear black, and the best thing to do in the morning is to wake up really early to do an hour of sadhana. For that reason, I would have advised you to do an AoL course whether you were suffering from marital difficulties or constipation, and I might have even paid your way if I thought you really “needed” it. Now, I have discovered that I love the taste of onion and garlic, I look great in black (and actually prefer it), and I still like to wake early--not to do any sort of practice, but rather to sip on a nice cup of coffee and get my day started right away so I can be productive. And certainly, I would advise anyone against doing an AoL course lest you get sucked into a cult that can cause plenty of physical and mental damage.

It has been so very liberating to be free of aol, and I have not since felt compelled to pursue any form of replacement spiritual practice (even though I had been meditating in some form or other since I was a teenager). Now, I live by the “golden rule” that we all learned in the first grade (“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”), and so far, it has guided me quite well.

The rewards of AOL

2010-05-02T10:54:00.004-04:00

By Zhoro, in response to comments on the previous post.

Anonymous @ 12:29 am and yourdad:
Do you guys really think this is going to fly? I mean, do you seriously believe that the readers of this blog are so naïve that an attempt as pathetic as this is enough to undermine it? Guys, this is not AoL anymore. A simple brush off of an issue by the guru or a senior operative is not enough. Let me address your questions, anonymous, as well as the oh-so-typical yet utterly flat commentaries by yourdad.

Anonymous @ 12:29: “1) Are all of you saying that you gained nothing of value from your time in AOL and contact with SSRS?”
Of course I did! Even time completely wasted can be the basis of a potentially invaluable lesson. The most wonderful lesson I scraped out from my time with AoL is that I should never again yield my free will to anyone and that I should not let ultimately narcissistic persons manipulate me by appealing to my most intimate idealistic concerns. Besides that, my involvement with AoL led me to explore various traditions in spirituality (against the explicit direction from TTC to not do so, mind you!) and helped me find true teachers such as Ramana Maharshi. So, yes, ultimately it led to very rewarding things of lasting value. That’s why they say that when a devotee is sincere, even a fake guru will do.

yourdad: “They obviously gained many things, or else why would they spend so much time with AOL?”
A graduate of the Sri Sri school of oversimplification, I see. You are right, actually, I pointed above. I did gain invaluable lessons from my association with the cult. But you are not correct that I spent so much time (6 years in my case) because I was gaining so much. The time was spent because I let my idealism overcome my discrimination and was willing to justify all the fishy things I was encountering. Following your ultimate idealistic concerns is gratifying in its own right and that drives you through walls of doubt for a period of time, but it is ultimately unsustainable when the reality of what AoL represents is consistently inconsistent with them. Truth ultimately prevails and we leave.

Anonymous @ 12:29: “3) Did any of you actually have good experiences with AOL techniques (SK, Sahaj Samadhi Meditation, etc.)?”

My answer to your first question partially answers this. Beyond that, let me state that pleasant experiences and truth are two different things. The techniques mentioned are not themselves conducive to arriving at truth. Refer to Ramana Maharshi’s expositions of the nature of reality and you will see how far off the mark is most of what AoL people focus on.

yourdad: “Yes they had. Thats why they went on to become teachers. Now they have some issues with AOL. They cant explain their behavior, where, they liked it first and then are not liking it.So they come up with theories like AOL is cult and that they were innocent victims who were trapped. Such pathetic arguments from weak minds.”
I am perfectly able to explain and I already did. AoL appealed to my idealistic streak, my ultimate concerns. AoL managed to convince me initially that it was the right arena for me to act upon these concerns. It purposely targets those aspects of a human psyche. For many people these types of concerns are very important yet they don’t easily find ways to express them in modern society. AoL seems like the answer to this conundrum. Ultimately, it fails as such. That’s why people leave disappointed. In all honesty, I was never impressed by SK, it did nothing for me during my first basic course. The reason I went back was that most pure and intimate desires seemed to have found fertile soil for growth.

Why do all of you seemingly obsess over SSRS's alleged siddhis? I've never heard a single teacher talk about them as some sort of selling point for AOL nor have I ever heard SSRS talk about them.
I don't see who here is obsessed with siddhis. On the other hand, the so called guru stories are very prevalent in AoL. In fact, they are an essential part of the curriculum in courses at later stages of involvement such as DSN, TTC, Blessings course and Guru Puja course. To say that they are not emphasized in intro level courses or marketing does not deny the big part they play in indoctrination later on.

It is a classic bait and switch situation. AoL markets itself to potential recruits with programs for relaxation, stress management, improved efficiency, etc. These are things that appeal to people in our times. RS is kept largely out of the picture, at least in the West. In many cases, there is no RS photo shown in courses and his name is mentioned only in passing in intro courses. Once a certain level of involvement is achieved, new recruits are exposed more and more to the mythology of RS’s person. Anyone who has gone through those stages can attest to this.

There are special guru story sessions in TTC courses. Bhanu is never shy to relate her own guru stories in Guru Puja courses. As I am writing this, I recall the story of how the angel of NYC (a very benevolent entity, it was said) showed up in RS’s hotel room and ask him how he could assist him on his mission in the city.
The switch from the focus being on stress management and relaxation to guru worship happens not so subtly, but somehow group dynamics make it possible for people to overlook it. While at times RS would pay lip service to the idea that siddhis are insignificant to the sincere spiritual seeker, they are very much emphasized in AoL in the process of drawing people into guru worship. In contrast, Ramana Maharshi always cuts any inquiry about such extraneous matters at the root and invariably points the attention to the source of the perception.

Anonymous @ 12:29: “4) If you don't like AOL and SSRS why are you obsessively talking about it? What are you trying to resolve? I think you're trying to resolve something but you're not sure what it is. Simply trashing something or someone rarely works.”

I’m sorry but this is a disingenuous question. It seems to come from a desperate desire to be left alone and not criticized. KLIM has explained many times what he/she is trying to resolve and the purpose this blog serves towards that. Besides, it is only in AoL’s book of formulae that not bringing something up for discussion when you don’t like it is the correct thing to do. Coincidentally, following that rule in this case would seem to be in AoL’s best interest. It is not a convincing argument at all. Simply trashing is not what happens here, although some people may have a tendency to express their emotions in a more abrupt manner (just as AoL people do, by the way). Very necessary alternative to the party line points of view are expressed here. Sorry for the inconvenience this may cause AoL.

yourdad: “Because they have nothing else to do. Before joining AOL they had nothing to do, after having left AOL they have nothing to do. So how to spend time? Hence talking trash online, trying to damage other people's name and achievements.”
Now what kind of response do you give a trite statement like that? What would Sri Sri do? Probably come up with something even more childish.

Free Free Censored Censored by Sri Sri?

2010-04-30T08:19:00.006-04:00

By Skywalker

the latest post on our ”ghostblog”, www.artoflivingfreefree.blogspot.com, was suddently edited recently, omitting the following RS quotes. In the interest of objectivity and fairness, we have decided to re-publish them. Really I find that they speak for themselves, and I fully understand why they were suddently deleted. This is the original Free Free post:

Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A Favor

I got a chance to talk to Sri Sri Ravi Shankar today. I mentioned to him that i had started this blog, basically to counter the stuff that some of those bilious minds seem to come up with about him. I told him how it could affect many people's opinions about Art of Living and him adversely, and what he said left me quite speechless.

He said, Oh let them write whatever they wish. As much bad things they want to write they are welcome to write. it's good.

Seeing the quizzical expression on my face, he smiled and continued. If there are any people who believe this and are going away, then they are weak minded people. People who want to deny the overwhelming evidence that is staring at them in their face, or who doubt their own experience and listen to some bunch of people criticizing us are being filtered away from us. and that is good!

We will be able to find out who is intelligent and who is strong. We should thank them. They are doing us a big favor.

What a different way of looking at things.

Later, I asked some others why Art of Living had not put up any official counters to this disgusting (at least to me, most of them seemed not to be bothered about it), they said in different ways, we are too busy.

Very few were concerned about it, but when i told them what Guruji had said to me earlier, they all brightened up and encouraged me to write more on this blog. Some of them even said they wanted to contribute.

One of them told me about an interview that Sri Sri had given sometime ago. He had been asked, Guruji can you predict the future? With a smile He had replied, wise men don't predict the future, they make it!

This volunteer told me i have much to do, to make the future, can't be bothered by Guruholic and co.

I asked another, what about Satyameva Jayate? That truth should prevail.
She smiled and said, in time, truth will always prevail.

J

OK, J, since you are an ardent reader of this blog, please answer the following questions (i will submit this post on the free free blog also, as a comment, just to make sure you read it). If you are left speechless, as seems to happen to you quite often, you may bring the questions to your Master, for him to answer.

”If there are any people who believe this and are going away, then they are weak minded people. People who want to deny the overwhelming evidence that is staring at them in their face, or who doubt their own experience and listen to some bunch of people criticizing us are being filtered away from us. And that is good! We will be able to find out who is intelligent and who is strong.”

Please show me the overwhelming evidence, staring me right in my face. Really, I am not being sarcastic! Finally RS comes to the level of sound arguments and reason, instead of asking everyone to simply have faith. I will be most happy to study any evidence you may submit, arguing the claims that

RS is an enlightened being, with no self-interest
has the power to know people's past and future, as he claims (uups, then why does he need this blog ”to find out who is intelligent and strong”?)
has heightened awareness/supernatural powers, thus being able to predict/manifest the future
has any other siddhis or powers, like for instance these guys, who miraculously levitate (It's true, they actually fly through the air, watch the video! My rationalist point of view was shaken watching it... or not!)
....Oh, I could go on, but what is the point?

Okay, please explain to me then, why RS wants to ”filter away” the ”weak minded”. Isn't the whole point of a guru to help the weak get stronger? Or could it be that what RS really intends is to filter away the strong minded, those who dare question and think for themselves? Does he feel threatened, maybe? It reminds me of a quote from one of Nick's posts:

"Joel Kramer describes in his book "The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power" how cult leaders often show great love, compassion and tolerance, as long as their growing needs for personal ego gratification are met. As soon as the cult's popularity and growth starts to diminish, the cult leader will often react by weeding out the weak of faith, and strenghening his grip on the remaining members." (Nick)

Maybe the weak of faith are the strong of mind, intelligence and integrity?

”People (...) who doubt their own experience and listen to some bunch of people criticizing us are being filtered away from us. And that is good!

J, listen up: we are the ones who stopped doubting our own experience. That is why we left. We write now to the people with secret doubts, the ones who are in pain and who need a way out. When we share our pain and insight, our experiences in and our liberation from the cult and its leader, these people gain hope and inspiration. If you are happy in AOL, fine. If ever you should feel that nagging doubt about the integrity of your Master, you will probably find -like we did- that nowhere in the organisation are you allowed to openly express those doubts. Yes, you may criticize the organisation -it has become quite the fashion amongst senior teachers, to openly do that, as if they feel the need to demonstrate that the organisation is open and transparent enough to allow this. But who criticizes or questions the guru? Once you start doing that, you are weeded out.

Is doubt really just lack of prana? Or are doubts your own good judgement desperately trying to be heard, through the AOL mind conditioning? If doubt is lack of prana, how come so many people in the prana-enriched AOL community are having secret doubts? RS, if you are really only interested in the strong of faith, why do you threaten your remaining teachers, telling them "they will be eaten up by their own minds" if they leave AOL? Don't you know that fear makes you weaker, not stronger? Or is it all really about (your) power and (your) control, rather than about empowering and freeing people?

No wonder Sri Sri censors censors Free Free!

Sri Sri, Free Free, Fraud Fraud, LOL LOL

2010-04-29T15:09:00.006-04:00

BY KLIM

Apparently what came out of the meeting between the AoL US board and Sri Sri to discuss how the blog “Confessions of a Guruholic” has “become a virus” is the creation of another blog led by two of their marketing people (Harish Ramachandran, CEO of Sumeru India, and Bharathy): www.artoflivingfreefree.blogspot.com. In the same way I no longer read “esatsang” or visit any AoL websites, I also have not checked out this one. I have no doubt, however, they will do a good job - in style, content, schemes. After all, the AoL is what it is due to witty marketing!

I am, however, still processing my thoughts and feelings about it. It is the ultimate fall of someone who once was my “idol”. If I still had any hopes or ideas that perhaps RS was a good person corrupted by power, I sadly have no longer any doubts we are facing a man greatly blinded by power, led by acute narcissism. I don’t know whether to worry, laugh, pity or fear them. This is the story of a man who claims to be a spiritual enlightened master, but also of one who is afraid of losing power to a blog. If there is truth in anything he does and who he is, including his condition of “spiritual master” and “enlightened being”, then, he/they would not even bother campaigning against it by defending themselves, convincing anyone of anything or “exposing” anything. Truth speaks alone. A blog that desperately goes out to negate another only insinuates weakness and deceit. I am afraid Ravishankar is neither well-assessed nor thinking with the “big mind”. The ultimate, absolute fall of my former “idol”.

A "blog blog" will only weaken their status and bring more popularity to this one. I and Co. are not interested in numbers, hits, popularity. I keep insisting this blog was not created with the intention of defaming anyone or anything. This blog was created with the sole purpose of allowing healing, sharing, recovery (mainly, that of my own). If I were interested in defaming, other kind of stories would have been published, with full names, details, locations, etc. Whereas we used to justify the “nasty” by exhonerating the guru of any wrong-doing, this finally teaches me it is all only an expression of the guru. As the popular saying states (and he also does), “we become like the one we love.”

However, I only have one question that rhymes to “where have all the flowers gone?” - “Where did all the knowledge go?” Wasn’t it that we should not be “football of other people’s opinions”, “not see intentions behind people’s mistakes”, “not make the mistake of going against other’s mistakes”, “we are all responsible for everything”, “I belong to you”, “accept people as they are”, “love our enemy”, “love is not an emotion it is our very own existence”? Where did all the knowledge go???

I understand the blog has 2 “free” in its title, and something about “exposing the guruholics”. Thus, my second question: can fanaticism lead to so much stupidity they actually cannot even think? The title “Confessions of a Guruholic” is a criticism of myself, of my years of brain-washed, brain-dead guru addict. I was a “guruholic” and no longer am, thus, the “confessions” (though they say, once an addict, always an addict. I, for one, do not want to see a guru in any size, shape and color for quite many life times). Whatever attack or exposing they do to the “guruholics” will only be of themselves since they are the only “guruholics” here! Noone following this blog, except AoLers, are “guruholics”! Sadly, their hatred and fanaticism does not allow them to realize this. Is it all only about conquering the world or smashing those who do not agree with them? Is it really all only about money, as I am told by many?

Further, in a logical equation, “artoflivingfree” means, free of AoL. By double negating it, their subliminal message is one cannot be free of the AoL. Whatever you do to free yourself of it, they will eliminate because there is nothing such as being free of “it”. Freeing the free means there is no free. Question: Wasn’t it that spiritual evolution gives and leads one to freedom? What happened with “a master is happiest when the disciple transcends him”?

With just a little bit of reason and critical thinking, any half intelligent person will see the only message AoL is sending with this attempt is the confirmation they are a cult of a bunch of fanatics who rule with despotism.

Many people have expressed they find this campaign ludicrous. I find it sad and disturbingly embarrassing. This is what the man whose feet I once touched and the organization I once represented narrows down to. Not even an ounce of dignity, integrity or elegance. Further, they keep accusing a friend for being Klim and leading this blog. In the last month she’s received 2 written threats from Ravishankar. Excuse me, wasn’t it Ravishankar knows it all?

And so, in the spirit of maintaining the true essence of this blog, we will add their link to ours under "Helpful Links", for the love and respect of freedom of speech and of the being and because “opposite values are complimentary”. We were not allowed to express nor think on our own while with them, and though they try to censor us even when we are no longer with them, it is our intrinsic birthright (just like “having a body free of diseases and a mind free of stress”). It is sad to see how many people leave the organization totally destroyed, disheartened, shaken, confused, ill. Few people understand the pain of spiritual rape and deception, of cult abuse and brain-washing. Though I have attempted to shut down this blog many times due to lack of time and (I must confess) interest because I grow tired of hearing about AoL, “Confessions of a Guruholic” will remain here for those who need a place to heal, share and be heard, because there is need and it is a free world. People are only righteously demanding for transparency. That is all. There is nothing wrong with that. RS/AOL should not be afraid of it nor defend themselves. If they humbly understood this, they could improve their organization.

However, it seems RS & Co. are in the mood for war but I am not. It was never about that. It was about love, love for myself, the love that I did not have while blindly working for him while worshipping him, thinking I was being led towards spiritual growth. Scream, threaten the wrong people, threaten me, lie, but, if you could see me now, you will see a big sincere smile in my face and peace in my heart. I am happy to be truly FREE. If RS were a true Master, he would only just be happy for me and give me his blessings (instead of curses).

I salute those who have deceived, betrayed, hurt and lied about me. The feverishness, hatred, fanaticism, ambition, fears I’ve found and keep discovering in the AoL have taught me great lessons, and keep further adding maturity, strength and depth in my life. As I often say, ever since I left the AoL, I have found real spirituality. In humble gratitude.

Eaten Up By My Own Mind (part 2: The Curse)

2010-04-27T13:54:00.004-04:00

BY NICK (continued)

Well, the meeting ended badly. He hadn't read the mail. I had anticipated that, so I had a print-out which I handed over to him, on my way out -in complete shock. This is what I wrote down on my laptop, immediately afterwards:

I gotta write this down before I forget. I went to the meeting. He started telling us about a great spiritual time starting from 2011, and how until then we would see people losing faith and falling into darkness. I told him then that I personally had lost faith in him, but I did not feel particularly in darkness, quite the opposite. I told him I had some issues with the organisation and in particular his person. He cut me off and started talking about faith, how important it is to be faithfull. I told him I had lost faith in his Divine status, and felt no worse for that. He got angry and started shouting: ”Do you know me? Do you think you really know me?” I was pretty subdued at that time, not able to do anything but stammer something. That happens, when a person that I have considered for 10 years to be the closest thing to a living God starts shouting at me. Then he went on shouting, ”I know your past as well as your future”. Something else -I was scared out of my wits at this time, I don´t remember clearly- and then he said ”you can just leave anytime, nobody is stopping you."

So I left. Clearly he didn't know my future that well, at least he did not seem to have anticipated that: 10 minutes later I got a call from one of his people asking me to come back. I said no. Then another call asking me to come back and give my Kriya tape back to him in person (I had left it with his secretary on the way out). I refused. Another call -I didn't pick it up. Then an sms asking me to hand over the course manual too. I answered back, ”you can have it all”. Then another sms asking me to hand over the course manual -to the Guru, in person. I didn't answer that one.

I wonder what he told my (ex) colleagues after I left? That I was severely deluded? Possesed be a Demon, perhaps? Or maybe that he staged the whole event, to deliberately set me free, for my own sake? I am curious, but I no longer care about his opinion. This event established it for me: the guy is a fake. He lost it, the nice facade cracked and an altogether too human nature shined through.

I am sure some of my ex-colleagues feel very sorry for me right now, as I used to feel very sorry for the people who left the organisation. All I feel now is relief and great joy!

The next days and weeks are a blur in my mind. The emotional stress of leaving AOL after 10 years was tremendous; fear and doubts made gave me bouts of regret. Had I thrown away the most precious thing in my life? Was this the ultimate, bad karma? Immediately after leaving, I sent an e-mail with the two letters above attached, to all the people in AOL that I knew personally, including the people I had taught on courses. It caused some upheavals, as people started forwarding it to others, but curiously enough the only hate-mail I got back was from a German senior teacher, to whom I hadn't sent the mail:

Dear Nick,

I have read your two Emails concerning you views on Guruji and AOL. Maybe Art of Living just needed a "bad" guy; thank you very much for playing that role. But please make sure that u don't drown in the bitterness and hatred. You are so compassionate to save people from being cheated you're your are sending mails to everybody to make them aware so that they don't get cheated . Is it out of compassion for others or out of your own hatred in which you were reeling for some time. Actually its too late, you have been party to it for so many years yourself! Your words have no value now. Did it take so many years for you to realize this???

To know somebody is a fraud, you need to know that person in and out. You never had a chance to know Guruji from close corner. Perhaps that jealousy is what makes you act like. Ask yourself, is it not jealousy that makes you act like this? I have seen Guruji from close corners. His sincerity and simplicity is just mind-blowing. You call him a fraud, yes, but this is absolutely ridiculous.

With best regards
Jgd
Lars

With best regards, Lars? Oookay, if you say so.

A few weeks after my dramatic exit, I met with a former AOL teacher colleague, who also happened to be a friend and business partner. He had been present at the meeting also. Out of curiosity, I asked him what had happened on the meeting, after I left. He told me that SSRS had read my letter. Then when asked by one of the teachers what would happen to the teachers who left the organisation, he had replied: ”They will be eaten up by their own minds”.

Hearing those words, I was paralyzed by fear. My worst fears were confirmed, just like that! I was damned, by my sinful actions! And because of my mail, there was no way back to the Guru's Grace!It took several days of counselling by good friends (also ex-teachers) for me to realize the fact that curses only work on those who believe in them. One very good example is this: http://www.redicecreations.com/article.php?id=10282

Two years have passed since the Guru's curse. I still haven't been eaten up by my own mind. In fact I feel fine, better than ever. I certainly don't miss the stress and sense of urgency permeating AOL, putting most of the teachers in a state of heightened arousal, making them easier to control and manipulate. These words of Janja Lalich have been a great inspiration to me:

"Now that you are no longer on a mission to save the world or your soul, relaxation and rest are no longer sinful. In fact, they are absolutely necessary for a healthy, balanced, and productive life." (Lalich, Janja: "Take Back your Life: Recovering from Cult and Abusive Relationships")

With your mind conditioned by AOL to believe that SSRS is enlightened, a lot of the craziness in AOL doesn't make sense. Still, we excuse His erratic behavior with the usual arguments: it is for the good of all, the Divine works in mysterious ways, etc. An incompetent leader is allowed to keep her job ”because she needs it for her personal growth”, and we are in awe of His compassion.

But once you ask yourself one simple question: ”What if He isn't enlightened? What if He has self-interest?”, then everything makes sense. An incompetent board president is allowed to stay, because unquestioning loyalty is valued more than leadership skills, and because it makes the group easier to control. Fits of rage from the Guru suddently makes sense -the anger is not ”faked”, it is genuine. And the primary motivation of the man who started it all is no longer love and compassion, but greed for power, money and personal fame. As a senior teacher (an elderly Indian woman living in Bad Antogast) once told me: ”He feeds off devotion”. She meant it lovingly, but I think she was right back then, and when I think of the consequences of this -that He is addicted to devotion, seemingly wanting it more and more- it makes me shudder in horror. Joel Kramer describes in his book "The Guru Papers: Masks of Authoritarian Power" how cult leaders often show great love, compassion and tolerance, as long as their growing needs for personal ego gratification are met. As soon as the cult's popularity and growth starts to diminish, the cult leader will often react by weeding out the weak of faith, and strenghening his grip on the remaining members. So my advice to any AOL members reading this is: get out now, while you can, it is bound to get even more crazy than you have experienced until now.

I no longer believe in enlightenment. But do I belive in the opposite, then? Is SSRS the Anti-Christ of all time, purely evil? Actually I believe that he might have started out with the best of intentions, back then. But, as often happens -in the words of Lord Acton (1887): "Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men." The power you are offered as a Guru, when devotees surrender their free will to you -that is absolute power. If you take it, you are lost, you have gone to the Dark Side.

The whole point of democracy is to limit power, and make the people in powerful positions accountable for any abuse of their power. In business, legislation prevents companies from monopolizing the market, thus preventing them from becoming too powerful. Nothing in the AOL prevents SSRS from aquiring and exerting absolute power; quite the contrary, in fact. Of course the poor guy turns out megalomanic. Yes, he is dangerous. But he is also a victim himself. A victim of misplaced devotion. For as long as there are people in this world willing to trust the word of another above their own judgement, thus bypassing their intellect, we will have Bad Gurus. Maybe it is time to think for ourselves?

Art of Living = Money, sex, scam, fraud, deceit

2010-04-25T20:56:00.004-04:00

BY SINCERE SEEKER

Is the Art of Living Foundation a scam? Is Sri Sri Ravi Shankar a fraud?
Maharishi Mahesh Yogi called Ravi Shankar "sugar coated poison". That kind of sums it.

The latest is that in his current US tour, RS (Ravi Shankar) is summoning his people to raise more money, get to the wealthy, for another project, Sri Sri University. Another scam! Raise money from others using volunteers (who do it for free and sacrifice their life, rather than earn it for themselves) and then invest it in property who's beneficiaries are his family members and use the front of Sri Sri University! Wow! that the best model in the world don't you think? Very similar to that of Maharishi his master. They say the devotee out does the master!

Before the Nithyananda scandal broke out, Rajshree Patel, the executive director of the Art of Living LA Center went and met Popat Savla, the head of the Nithyananda org. in LA. Mr Savla then mailed Rajshree a $50,000 check!

He gave $2.5mil to Nithyananda to buy and build the temple in LA. Even after the scandal broke out Sri Sri had the guts to visit them in LA. You all read the article in the Deccan Herald about Sri Sri going to visit the Nithyananda temple and Mr. Savla contacted the newspaper and told them if felt like a corporate takeover. Yes, he's a good candidate for take over since he gave millions in the past.

After going past the "sugar" it takes wisdom to recognize the "poison". I am eagerly waiting to read more articles from Whistleblower on the deep dark secrets of Sri Sri. I hope that all of you read Whistleblowers extremely intriguing comments under the post Comment on the "Teacher’s pompous answer to a devotee’s sincere question."

Eaten Up By My Own Mind (part 1: Anonymity and Confrontation)

2010-04-23T15:57:00.002-04:00

BY NICK

It is exactly two years now, since my exit from AOL. I was a member for 10 years, a teacher for 8 of those. Reading this blog, I sympathize deeply with the people who have been hurt by their affiliation with the organization. I understand the need for anonymity -I myself do not want my full name associated with the organisation. I imagine a future prospective employer googling my name, and there I am, linked to a religious, new-age cult. How embarrasing! So, I am using my ”Nick”name, to write these posts. People who knew me back then will know who I am, and they can make their own judgements as to how reliable my story is. Anyone else... sorry guys! My years in AOL are not something I am proud of. If I am going to be able to put them behind me, I need to be able to keep my name clear of AOL.

Some writers have expressed fear of violent reprisals by AOL'ers, lest their identity be known. I have no fear of that; the AOL teachers and organisers in my area are basically good people, albeit severely deluded. True, there are some genuine nutcases also, more powerful now that many of the good people have left. But the violence in AOL seems to me to be primarily emotional. There is quite a lot of that, though. But I live in a quiet part of the world. Ex-devotees in other countries may have different experiences. As for the fear of legal reprisal: Imagine the organisation suing the authors in this blog, for libel. ”We are not a cult. We do not use mind-control techniques. No money has been siphoned off to private accounts.” Can you imagine AOL doing that? No, me neither.

I no longer do any practice, except for some occasional yoga. I regard the AOL practice as helpful in many instances, potentially harmful only if you overdo it (as many of us did back then) or regard it as a miracle cure for all personal problems, mental and physical -thereby not seeking proper, professional help (yep, we did that too).

In the years before leaving, I had gradually ”lost faith”. A clinical depression, lasting several years, had not lifted, despite SSRS's claim that "I was in a difficult astrological phase, and it would get better next year". A trip to India, personally invited by SSRS to travel with him, left me feeling empty and even more depressed than before. There were no answers to be found in the Holy Land. Personal time with the Master turned out to be... well, boring. And the hysteria, the manipulation of devotees and the general bad craziness was worse than ever before.

One day, sitting in the throes of deep depression, with suicidal thoughts, I suddently realized: He won't be able to save me. In fact, no-one will come to save me. I am alone, and I have to face up to that reality. In that very moment, my three-year long depression lifted, just like that. I also lost the last shreds of faith in the Guru as a person of supernatural power, able to communicate with and and influence people through metaphysical means. I still had faith in his good intentions, though, and a couple of months later, with this new conviction I left home for a National Teachers' Meeting with the man, to test whether my newfound belief would be accepted.

You see, I really enjoyed teaching the course. And I figured, why not be the first atheist AOL teacher? Sure, maybe SSRS believes himself to be enlightened and in posession of divine qualities and supernatural powers. Well hey, everybody are entitled to their own personal beliefs, so why not him also? Maybe some people actually need a guru to whom they can surrender their free will, someone to relieve them of the responsibility of life. Maybe he is doing good things for some people, and only unintentionally messing other people up.

Two days before the meeting, I sent him an e-mail, with copies to my teacher colleagues. This is the mail:

Dear Guruji,
I have two important issues that I would really like to discuss on the National teacher's meeting Saturday, where I will also be present. One regards the Art of Living organisation as a whole, the other regards the local organisation.

My main concern is the emphasis and focus on your person, as a Divine being with supernatural powers. A new Messiah, you might say. In fact, are you aware that a lot of people -teachers in particular- actually believe you to be a reincarnation of Christ? Some of them even claim to have heard you yourself say so. I am not saying that you are not, although personally I find it very unlikely. All I am suggesting is that you either deny those claims, or get ready to prove them should they become publicly known, as is bound to happen eventually. Can you imagine the reaction from the christian community?

Already on the internet many of these stories are being told, by "defectors" from the organisation. If you don't believe me look at http://guruphiliac.blogspot.com/2008/03/defection-aol-teacher-sees-light.html and it continues at
http://guruphiliac.blogspot.com/2008/04/sri-sris-shameless-flimflamming.html

Now of course these examples could just be someone trying to drag your name through the mud. It just strikes me how similar my own thougths regarding you have been recently.

I used to believe in your Divine powers, your ability to hear and answer prayers coming to you from across the globe, your ability to be present in two places at the same time, to heal the incurable etc. etc. Why shouldn't I? I was surrounded by people who were prepared to swear that their miraculous experiences in your name really happened. The fact that I myself never saw you perform any miracles -defined as "exertion of supernatural powers", something that could not be explained by reason and science- made me feel very shameful. Maybe I was not a proper devotee? Maybe I was not worthy to get a glimpse of your true, Divine being? Not strong enough? Not surrendered enough?

For many years I used to pray to you, to give me a sign -give me my own "Guru-story" that would vaporize my doubt and make my faith strong! Shame and guilt grew in me, because of my secret doubts about my Guru. I was told repeatedly on courses and TTC, that doubt was just lack of prana. As a way to compensate for my guilt, I would try my best to convince other people that you had these special powers.

The teacher's training reinforced my inner conflict. We were told countless "Guru-stories" documenting your Divine powers, and many stories going "My Guru told me to do this-and-this and I didn't and I was miserable and then I did it and everything became fine", and "this person left the organisation and look at him now he is miserable". Maybe these stories are meant to be inspiring. In me they created fear - fear of independent thoughts and actions. Fear of following my heart, should my heart tell me to do things that was not related to Art of Living. For many years I was afraid to ask your advice in personal matters. What if you told me to do something that went against my own, innner conviction? Then I would have to do it, because not doing as your Guru tells you is extremely bad karma. So I had been told. So better not ask. And then lots of guilt for not trusting you.

It seems to me that you have allowed a whole mythology to be created around your person. The closer you get to the "inner circle" around you, the more people act as if you are the ultimate answer to all the problems of the world. You are all-knowing, you posses special Divine insight etc. As a concequence, very few dare question you at all -and may even be feeding you wrong information about your own organisation, based more on what they think you might want to hear -based on your "prophecies"- than actual reality. It is certainly a joke how AOL activities and achievements are routinely exaggerated. Maybe you are surrounded by yes-sayers, of the worst kind? Certainly a strong dogma among the teachers is that you do not under any circumstances question the Guru.

At the root of every religion is the notion that "We have the ultimate truth. Everybody else are deluded". Too many people are treating Art of Living as a religion. I can't say that I blame them. I used to believe myself that you will save the world, that your ultimate and Divine knowledge will envelop the whole world. If we do nothing to stop this tendency, then I believe the Art of Living will end up just like that -another religion, of which the world has too many allready. Just recently attemps were made to throw me out of the TTC group in my country, on the grounds that "I was not adhering to the proper teachings of the Guru". It was demanded that "I declare the nature of my relationship with you". Many teachers have been blinded by faith, to the extent that declaring your proper faith becomes more important than living basic human values. The whole Guru-hype culture and in particular the massive indoctrination happening in the TTC is creating this, and I can not at present recommend teachers training, DSN or even phase three courses to anyone. The risk of getting caught up in the myths surrounding you, and thereby loosing trust in your own judgement is too big.

I have lost my faith in you as the all-knowing, almost-omnipotent, Guruji. And it is a great relief, as it has allowed me to gain faith in myself. I no longer believe in Grace as an actual thing transferred from you to me -and I am experiencing more Grace in my life than ever before! It seems to be coming from inside of me.

We were told on TTC that we were "The Chosen Ones" -hand-picked by You to spread the light in the world. And oh, it felt wonderful to be among the select few. Unfortunately it widened the distance between me and the rest of humanity (non-aol people) and made me feel increasingly lonely. After climbing down off my pedestal I feel such relief and so much more belongingness to everyone. I no longer follow the advice from TTC to "hide your attachments", I no longer feel pressure to maintain a proper front as an Art of Living teacher. I am just... me, mr. Average Joe, no better or worse than anyone else. Wonderful!

I believe I would have followed you even without the promise of enlightenment through Divine Grace. I acknowledge the tremendous, positive difference you make in people's lives. And I wonder why you allow people to attribute every single positive change to your Divine intervention, thus creating a false dependency on the Guru. As I see it, when people relax and gain knowledge, they heal themselves. It is a perfectly natural -not supernatural- thing. In fact, my innner conviction is closer to that of atheism than anything else. And frankly it offends me to read talks by you in which you claim atheists to be stupid. As if we are unable to perceive and appreciate the beauty and wonder of the world without a belief in God.

I just recently finished teaching a Basic course, and I must say -I enjoy it very much, and I would like to continue giving these courses. And although I certainly do question your judgement, particularly in regard to how you allow cultish worshipping of your person, I do not question your authority in the Art of Living. I will bring my kriya tape Saturday, and if based on this mail you do not wish me to continue teaching, I will hand it back to you, no hard feelings. I don't really expect you to change anything, purely on the basis of my humble opinion, and I am ready to drop my involvement in the Art of Living complety. I am writing this out of love for the knowledge, the organisation, it's people and... well. You.

See you saturday!
Love,
Nick.

(to be continued)

Comment on the teacher’s pompous answer to a devotee’s sincere question

2010-04-22T07:59:00.002-04:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

I have to comment on the teacher’s pompous answer to a devotee’s sincere question posted by anon on 4/19 @ 5:10 PM under “Ravishankar’s Hankering for NPP (part 2)”. I remember going through the teacher’s training part 2, and having to debate over this course price issue. I also felt that the price of the course was a barrier to those who most “needed” the course, and I was hoping for a chance at the TTC to air my concerns and get reassurance that in fact the exorbitant cost of courses was justified. This was not allowed—instead, we were made to defend an opinion that opposed our own in a sort of group debate. How clever of them to try and get us to do our own brainwashing, and I am sure it worked on some. As for me, I became only more convinced that AoL caters to the rich and ignores the poor because rs is interested in the money, and not in rendering any kind of service.

“Q> I am a staunch follower of Art of living and have done part 1, part 2 and Sahaj Samadhi courses. I thoroughly enjoyed them and love Guruji. But I always felt the courses are expensive. I thought spiritual knowledge should be distributed at the minimal cost and it is upto the seeker to offer how much ever it pleases him/her for Guru Dakshina. There were a few other situations when I was a bit under financial pressure to donate atleast $300. This has bothered me quite a bit even though I am a philanthropist. If people are rich and can afford it, it is a different matter. Sorry for my ignorance. I am not really clear. But if you can please explain to me in detail, I would really appreciate it.” 

The answer posted by the teacher on his/her blog is clearly a compilation of arguments that the teacher trainers have taught us all to parrot, and some of the arguments are misleading, silly, evasive, or simply untrue.

“Spiritual Knowledge has never been at minimal cost .. earlier you would have had to go and do Seva in an Ashram for 10-15 years before you even got a whiff of learning about meditation… Then after all that, you would give a Guru Dakshina if at all…”

Okay, so why doesn’t AoL accept service and time commitment as payment for a course? These days, volunteers are asked to pay to volunteer at an event, especially for those events where rs will be in attendance. And why pressure course participants to give a dakshina at the end of the course? I am a westerner, and I might be misunderstanding the concept, but shouldn’t Dakshina come from one’s own inspiration, and not a result of external pressures? Clearly in this argument, traditions of the past are being twisted to justify the practices of aol today. Either stick to tradition, or call it what it is—a business.

“…The Art of Living courses are typically 18-40 hours in length, assuming you are paying $300 for an approximately 25 hour course, you are paying $12 per hour which is utterly exploitative … Would you even be able to get your toilet fixed for $12 an hour? Are you not willing to spend more money on getting your mind fixed, than you would on your loo?!...”

AoL courses are typically 18 h for a part 1, and 26 h for a YES plus. And since there is a 12-person minimum for the number of course participants, we’re talking at least $140-$150 per hour. And what’s “utterly exploitative” is the fact that the volunteers and teachers who do the work don’t see any of this money. And personally, I would rather pay that money to get my toilet fixed, because at least the money would have gone to a good cause--something real and tangible and useful to me. Claiming the AoL course fixes the mind is preposterous, and as we have seen for many who have shared their experiences on this site, being involved in AoL has done quite the opposite.

“…You talk about yourself, but you do realize that there are so many teachers and an entire organisation to run which has expenses… No government, corporate, UN agency funds Art of Living. When teachers travel, they have to pay the bus/train/air fare. In our homes we have to pay telephone and electricity bills, and for the food we eat. We have to pay for the hall rent, the rent for the audio system used on the course, etc … Many people work to make an Art of Living course happen, we have to pay them at least their expenses. There is a pretty big bill thats there at the end of the course. $300 is peanuts to pay for a course that you know gives you so very much….”

I have been involved in every aspect of course organization from the recruiting to the accounting and everything in between. Only 25% of a part 1 course revenue is allowed to go to such expenses as the teachers’ travel, hall rental, etc. For a part 2 course, its even less—a set amount ($300) has to go to VVM for each participant, and food/lodging is a separate expense that each participant has to pay. Often, volunteers have to dip into their own wallets to make ends meet for such courses, and hosting expenses for the teacher are non-refundable. So keeping things in perspective, if one pays $300 for a part 1 course, only $75 of it is allowed to go towards all those expenses this teacher has mentioned. Where does the rest go?

“…Another thing that we wanted was that we did not want people to be obligated and pay. We charge a certain fee for a service rendered. Its nice and clean….”

I’m confused. People ARE obligated to pay if they want to take a course, aren’t they? Also, this sounds more like a business transaction to me, than a service rendered by a charitable organization.

“…Finally, if you want to buy yourself a car, a solid education, a home… at this point you dont say its too expensive do you? You take a loan and get it. An Art of Living course is on par with these big investments of life. If needed, take a loan… you know its worth it….”

So is this teacher suggesting that one who cannot afford an AoL course should take out a loan for it? I personally object to this—I have seen people in my area who do exactly that in response to the prodding and pressure to take this or that “amazing” AoL course. These people cannot afford the basic necessities, and yet are asked to beg for, borrow the money, or launch a fundraising effort to take the next AoL course, instead of being smacked back to reality and told to get their life in order before going off the deep end with these courses. Its sick. Also, I’m sorry, but an AoL course is certainly not “on par” with a solid education, a car, a home, or even a functioning toilet.

“…Finally, some of the money collected on courses is pumped back into society, it doesn’t line anyone’s pockets. It could be used to rehab prisoners, or in some disaster area, or in some war zone to help people. It could be used to help children, women, etc…”

I have yet to see a single “service project” come from the money that has been raised in my area and pumped into the AoL national/ravishankar’s bank account. In addition to courses, I have helped to organize rs’s visit to my city, and have helped raise thousands of dollars for the org. through that event. We were allowed to keep a small fraction of the profit for our city to help offset costs of future aol events, but then had to return any unspent money after one year. The only “service” that money was used for (while we still had it) was to organize more courses. On a separate occasion, when I was ready and willing to join in a trauma relief effort overseas in a war-torn area, I had to seek out my own source of funding, and apply for a grant. I was told by the aol accountant that money raised in a particular area stays in that area, and does not go toward service projects overseas. We had to do our own fundraising campaign for that. So if aol “service projects” are funded by external sources and our own fundraising efforts, then where does all the course revenue go?

“… It could also be used to take care of our full time teachers and their families whenever needed, It could also be used to build up our Ashram infrastructure so that when you come there, you can be taken better care of… ”

Really, the full-time teachers and their families are taken care of using hard-earned aol course dollars?? Do full-timers have any health insurance? Do they earn at least minimum wage for their efforts? I don’t think so. As for the ashram infrastructure, I have yet to see any improvement to the Montreal ashram after donating to that cause year after year.

“…Our idea of doing Seva is not out of an empty bowl, so that we have to go to various people to get us money so that we can do Seva....”

So I see as of late, you’ve been reaching into Nithy’s bowl to do your “seva” (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

“…Our teachers and volunteers work hard to make courses happen, a solid value is given to the participants in the course and then out of the profits that are made on the courses, our bowl are filled…. “

Yes indeed your bowl is filled by the hard work of the teachers and volunteers—the first truthful and direct statement I’ve seen.

Out of a full bowl which has been made so by dint of hard work, we do philanthropy. (Though of late, quite a few funding agencies have finally woken up to the fact that Art of Living is doing some great work and have expressed a desire to partner with us towards mutual goals… and thats a nice feeling too  I think thats quite noble,…”

I and others have yet to see any philanthropy come out of the “full bowl”. From what I can tell, anything positive that has come out of the org has come from the good intentions and inspiration of some of the duped participants who eventually wise-up and leave. And didn’t this teacher just say in the beginning that no corporate organization funds AoL? Anyway, someone should alert these funding agencies about the AoL fraud.

“… and you should feel privileged to give money to such an organization… even if it means a bit of a stretch for you….” 

No thanks, I think I’d rather flush my hard-earned money down my working toilet than to give it to such an organization.

I do hope that the poor devotee who had the guts to pose his/her question was able to see through all the AoL B.S. in that teacher’s answer, and has since left the org. If not, then God Bless and good luck.

Ravi Shankar's Hankering for NPP (Part 3)

2010-04-20T17:21:00.004-04:00

By “His Holiness Sri Sri Whistleblower Ji”
(Did you notice the extra Ji at the end of my title? nice, hay?)

And the day before the official announcement, AOL people were expecting the NPP to just fall on SriSri’s lap. These kind of emails were circulating:
Friday, 7 October 2005 -Dear All,Jai Guru Dev!Tomorrow at 11am (Oslo, Norway time) will be the announcement we have all been waiting for. Attached is a media release. Please feel free to copy as you like.

Ever pleasing Francois Gautier (SriSri’s puppet journalist) even prepared this press statement for AOL centres:

*** It is with great pride that we receive the news that His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2005. His Holiness has been working tirelessly for bringing peace in the lives of people for the past 25 years.

Attempts to bring peace in society have been largely confined to the realms of economics and politics and have often missed the spiritual perspective. That’s where His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has been making a difference. Using his globally acclaimed breath-based stress-elimination programmes, he has been able to promote a stress-free society as the only permanent antidote to terrorism and violence.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has not only motivated thousands of volunteers to action towards peaceful co-existence, but also traveled extensively to strife-torn places to heal the wounds of victims and calm the aggressors. Thus he has been able to bring together people from opposing opinions. From Kashmir to Kosovo to Israel, he has worked to create a desire and drive for peace among the people from both sides of conflicts. A case in point is Sri Sri’s all inclusive pan-Kashmir approach to promote collective peace in militancy-hit Kashmir Valley, where within a short span of time, he reached out to all sections and rallied them together to create an atmosphere of mutual trust and dialogue.

This award will help encourage people to set aside all barriers of caste, creed, race, nationality and religion and join Sri Sri’s ceaseless crusade for peace. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar hopes that the recognition bestowed by this award will go a long way in realising his vision of a stress-free society.

It could not have come at a more special time when the Art of Living Foundation is gearing up to celebrate the completion of 25 years of service to humanity. Though this event will be feted throughout the year in major cities around the world, the main celebration will be in Bangalore, India in February 2006. Heads of governments, spiritual and other leaders from all over the world will come together at the event, …………..

What a laugh! Sri Sri’s own press office in Bangalore Ashram were so sure about Sri sri receiving NPP that they sent a press kit to all centres, even releasing Guruji’s statement to them, all ready to go:

We are delighted to learn that His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has been awarded this year’s Nobel Prize for Peace. The first ever Indian to win this accolade, His Holiness views this as an affirmation of our country’s long-standing spiritual ideals of knowledge, non-violence and harmony......

Very humble acceptance statement, don’t you think so?!!(Esp knowing he had got it prepared beforehand!!!)

And just to be sure no enthusiastic devotee published the above statement before the official announcement from Norway, they added these warnings to the emails:

...Please note that the statement by the Art of Living Foundation will be shared with the press only after the NPP commitee makes the announcement.

... NOT TO BE SHARED WITH MEDIA UNTIL THE OFFICIAL ANNOUNCENT.

So funny, don’t you think so?! They sure were salivating waiting for the news & most of it from SriSri himself.

And what a shame that all that preparation came to nothing when the next day, NPP 2005 was awarded to the International Atomic Energy Organization & not to SriSri !!!

And before the national coordinators had a chance to breath , after all the work they did for NPP 2005, they received the new directive from Sri Sri through the same project team:

After several consultations with Guruji, we are very delighted to once again invite all colleagues in the NPP project network to embark on a fresh undertaking: to put forward Guruji’s candidacy for the NPP 2006. Guruji’s message to us all is that we should not not lose heart in not making it to our goal this year. Instead, the challenge is for us to strive and persevere with more dedication and creativity in the cause spreading his living legacy of peace. We have learned so much from our past NPP project experience, and we should continue to put to bear our 100% efforts on the noble aim of calling the attention of the whole world to the great works of Guruji.
………..We know that the NPP is a “Euro-centric” political process and we are calling on all European NPP Coordinators to re-double their efforts to secure many more NPP nominations from Europe.

No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not again?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do we have to go through all that again?!!!! Yes, Sri Sri wants a NPP. Can we just give one to him ourselves, to make this megalomaniac happy? No, he wants the one from Norway!! Can we buy him one?!! Well, that is what we have been trying to do & continue to do, ie buy influence!! I wish buying a NPP for SriSri was at easy as buying some stamps with his pictures on it & saying Govt of that country issued them in his honour!! It would have saved all of us so much time & effort!

So here we went again. There were new set of orders from top echelon to win NPP2006:

Last year, we were not able to secure a single nomination from “peace research institutes and institutes of foreign affairs”, as a category of eligible nominators. This year, it should be our high priority to get nominations from these institutions.

Unlike last year where our efforts to secure nominations were concentrated in the month of January, this year we must come up with the needed nominations by end December 2005.

Nominators who agree to write a nomination letter for Guruji will be given assistance in drafting their letter if so requested. Attached to this email are a list of points, duly noted by Guruji, which our nominators can choose to highlight in their nomination letters. Please study these points carefully and consider which ones can be personally endorsed by a nominator whom you have approached. As in the past, drafting assistance will be extended to NPP National Coordinators by members of the International Coordination Team.

…So let us please quickly, discreetly, and with renewed enthusiasm re-launch our NPP campaign. Guruji has given his blessings to each and everyone of us. This round has to be the final round!

The NPP project international coordination team will immediately contact all coordinators by phone for consultations and follow-up.
Jaina Desai
Frederique Lebelley
Ewald Poeran
Christoph Glasser
Fahri Saatcioglu
Werner Luedemann
Peter Payoyo

(Please note Guruji’s secretary’s name, Jaina, appears at the top of SriSri’s NPP project team list.)

We were all wondering, didn’t His Holiness, Himself , bless the project last year? So what was the use of his blessings?!! And if no good last year, what good it would be this year?!!

Only if Norway Noble Committee knew what we had to endure to get this guy a NPP, surely they would have shown some compassion & just give it to him. Just for one year!! That is all he wanted, to be known as the winner of NPP, so he could get more money from George Bush & alike to build his real estate business. What is wrong with that?!! Just another title he could add to his name. Why Oslo Noble team couldn’t get it that this guy was GOD; that he could add any title he wanted to his name. So he was really giving them an opportunity & a great honour to confer Sri Sri the NPP title & earn good merits! What an honour would be for Nobel committee if SriSri got NPP!!! They didn’t think about that, did they? Silly silly boys! As Gautier would have us believe, it would have increased the integrity of NPP so many folds if it was given to Srisri!!! Right Francois?
And if NPP could have been bought by cash, that would have been no problem either. SriSi may be short of integrity & honesty, but not short of cash!

To be continued....

NEWS ALERT: Sri Sri telecon with Nithyananda

2010-04-18T18:11:00.004-04:00

NEWS ALERT: FROM TODAY'S DECCAN HERALD NEWSPAPER:

Sri Sri telecon with Nithyananda from defunct Los Angeles temple
Chandan Nandy, Bangalore, April 18, DH News Service:

Art of Living Foundation guru Sri Sri Ravishankar visited godman-in-hiding Nithyananda’s now defunct Vedic Temple in Los Angeles on Friday and spoke to him over phone briefly before denouncing him in private to some of his former devotees.

During the brief telecon, Nithyananda is believed to have “welcomed” Ravishankar to his temple which, along with another one in Seattle, was shut down on Saturday following an intense power struggle among his devotees a majority of whom have taken a dim view of the godman since the sex scandal broke early last month.

When contacted with specific questions, Ravishankar's media relations manager at his Kanakapura ashram here, Charu Garhwal, admitted that the Art of Living guru did visit the Nithyananda's LA temple. "He met and talked to some of the traumatised devotees of Nithyananda."

But within an hour Garhwal called back Deccan Herald, saying: "Actually, he (Ravishankar) is in Los Angeles to inaugurate a new temple where some of Nithyananda's traumatised devotees came to meet him." When asked if Ravishankar spoke to Nithyananda over phone, Garhwal said she would "check and get back". She never called back.

Some former Nithyananda devotees Deccan Herald spoke to over phone said Ravishankar visited the so-called Vedic Temple on Friday evening. "He went around the whole temple complex, visiting all the departments," a senior former devotee said.

While at the temple, whose possession has become a bone of contention among some former and a few last remaining devotees of Nithyananda, a temple attendant got the godman-in-hiding on the phone for Ravishankar to speak to.

"The two talked briefly after which Ravishankar told the temple priest in private that if they needed help they could approach him," an influential NRI, who is a former Nithyananda follower, told Deccan Herald.

Ravishankar has had past association with Nithyananda. On Nithyananda's invitation, Ravishankar had visited the so-called godman's Tiruvannamalai Dhyanapeetam on August 6, 2009. Photographs of the two together are prominently displayed on the Nithyananda Dhyanapeetam website.

Sources in LA wondered whether one of the primary reasons behind Ravishankar's visit to the LA temple was to "win back" devotees who are cut up over Nithyananda's sexual indiscretions. In this context, a former devotee said: "A few years back, no less than a dozen of Ravishankar's followers deserted him to join Nithayananda's order in which they became 'acharayas'. Ravishankar is returning the favour and trying to wean them back."

Former Nithyananda devotees believe Ravishankar is trying to capitalise on the situation and may be looking for ways and means to take control of the LA temple and to have donors, who till lately contributed to the disgraced godman's coffers, make monetary offerings to his foundation. "This is almost like a corporate takeover," an Nithyananda ex-devotee said.

Ravishankar's Hankering for NPP (part 2)

2010-04-18T10:23:00.004-04:00

BY “HIS HOLINESS SRI SRI WHISTLEBLOWER”

They were starting to believe their own lies:

We have good information that Guruji is one of the top two candidates in the running to receive this prestigious recognition. It will be such a befitting award in the lead up to the Silver Jubilee next year!

At the height of “feverishness”, advice was coming from left & right:

...What we need now are letters of support from influential people in the community. They do not need to have done the Part 1 Course.

.... I NEED TO REPEAT no devotional letters be wise and get influential people to write letter of recommendation.

...Teachers or high-profile individuals connected with doing a lot of activities for AoL is not eligible; This would disqualify the nomination.

Didn’t the other one in NPPP Committee told us , just the week before, he wrote one himself & encouraging others to do so too?!!!!!!!!!

Guruji must be referred to as His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, Founder of the Art of Living Foundation;

You have heard that one before, haven’t you? Suddenly conferring on himself all kind of titles. First it was Sri Sri , now he added His Holiness as well! So I decided to rename myself “His Holiness Sri Sri Whistleblower”!!

While SriSri was totally involved in all aspects of promoting himself for a NPP, publicly he & his PR machine would deny that. The following are some such quotes:

Nobel Peace for Indian?
http://www.timesofoman.com/newsdetails.asp?newsid=20475&pn=local
....the ‘Guruji’ was totally nonchalant about the speculation that is doing the rounds in India.Sources note that he is not only dismissive about such rumours, true to his character, he has openly queried as to how being awarded a peace prize or not being awarded one, for that matter, would ever change him, or his work.“Sri Sri is more interested about bringing happiness to people than hoping or wishing for the Nobel Prize,” AoL sources here claim.In fact, the world will remember him for what he has done than for getting the Nobel Prize, others add.

Of course , behind the scenes, SriSri’s PR campaign was still in full swing. see some quotes from the following official directive from his campaign team:

LAST-MINUTE GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS,NPP Project,17 January 2005

RE: Nominations that have been confirmed and are being secured:

1. All NPP National Coordinators and NPP project contacts are urged to re-double their efforts to make sure that nominators who have confirmed their support must sign and immediately send their nomination letters to Norway a.s.a.p.
2. Nominators who are still writing their nominations must be asked to write their nomination letters using their own language and articulating their own personal inspiration. Please note that the ‘model nomination letter’ circulated earlier is a general suggestion only, and is not meant to be copied verbatim. Make sure that individual experiences and local accomplishments are also added and prominently projected in the letter. In those cases where a nominator requests for your drafting assistance, please immediately consult with me so that we can help each other come up with varied formulations to put into the nomination letters.
3. In the remaining 13 days of the project, you can intensify your campaign and multiply results by using a recommended technique, described as follows: If a heavyweight nominator in your country (e.g., Prime Minister, or respected legislator, or professor) has agreed to give you a copy of his/her nomination letter, please ask other qualified nominators to associate themselves with, or express support for, this particular nomination. The formulation in the supporting letter for each of these other nominators would then be:
“ xxx Dear Members of the Nobel Committee, I am honored to associate myself with the nomination for the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize forwarded to you by The Honorable .... / Professor ..... I fully share the belief and the conviction that Sir Sri Ravi Shankar is most deserving of this noble award and the great tradition it stands for. Yours Sincerely, xxx”
4. It would be a wonderful gesture on the part of the AofL and National Coordinators to send a thank you card, or a token gift of appreciation, or a flower bouquet, to each person who has written a nomination for Guruji. Kindly note that each one of our nominators is not only distinguished in his/her own right but is also now part of our own network of friends and allies who share Guruji’s vision of ‘one world family’.
RE: Nominations that are still being solicited
5. We need many more fresh nominations to create a truly significant political impact. The NPP as you know is a very political process. So we should not lose the momentum we have already gained in obtaining as many nominations as possible before the February 1 deadline. BUT PLEASE ... make sure that the nominations we are getting are from qualified or eligible people only. As you will see from the attached summary, the list of confirmed nominators includes many individuals who are not clearly qualified to submit nominations. This may lead to embarrassing results for Guruji. So I earnestly plead to all NPP coordinators: let us play by the rules.
.....
9. In your spare moments, please take time to surf through the Nobel Peace Prize website, which is very informative and can possibly give you further inspiration in your NPP project work:
http://www.nobel.no/

AOL Teacher & Sri Sri puppet journalist, Francois Gautier, even published the following article, giving ultimatum , among heaps of propaganda, to Oslo Nobel committee to choose Sri Sri or else he would accuse them of being anti Hindus!! http://us.rediff.com/news/2005/sep/28franc.htm?q=np&file=.htm
and notice that he doesn’t mention being an AOL teacher & his close association with SriSri & the fact that he is one of the top haram journalists & ever ready at “Guruji”’s service!!!! That tells you the amount of journalistic integrity this guy & the rest of “SriSri-bought” journalists have!!

Pay special attention to what he says, the message within reflects the propaganda Sri Sri specifically wanted to promote. Gautier’s writing would have been checked by SriSri before being published, same as the rest of his & other puppets’ articles for SriSri. He even puts down others (including his previous guru/spiritual organisation he was involved with) to promote SriSri!! He goes so far as saying giving NPP to thousand women “would dilute the dignity of the Nobel Peace Prize”. If giving NPP to thousand women would dilute the dignity of the NPP, I wonder what it would do to dignity of the NPP, if they would give it to a megalomaniac, deceitful, self-promoting & psychopath guru !!

Gautier’s grovelling is truly sickening, but of course music to the ears of his master:

Read some of the quotes from his article:

Will Sri Sri Ravi Shankar get the Nobel Peace Prize? (Rediff.com September 28, 2005)

Is there still a prejudice in Western society against Hindus?
Amongst the front runners for this year's Nobel Peace Prize, is Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. Guruji, as he is known amongst his disciples, truly deserves the Nobel Prize because he is a universal man of peace.
Yet, it is an uphill task for a Hindu leader to get the Nobel Peace Prize.
Yes, Mother Teresa got it, but she was a Christian and not a natural born Indian. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's teachers and volunteers are from all religions -- Hindus, also Muslims, Christians, Buddhists, Parsis, Sikhs etc.

But since then there has been a relapse. As a Frenchman and a Westerner, I have been privileged to have met the Mother of Pondicherry, herself a French by birth. Her association with Sri Aurobindo and her deep knowledge of Indian spirituality helped bring a certain understanding of Hinduism, but that was only limited to France.

It is true that there is untouchability in India, and that it has harmed her image. For instance, by refusing access to Westerners in certain temples, such as in Banaras, Hindus have not created the right picture.

But is also true that Hindus have been made untouchables by a certain section of Western intellectuals (with the help of Indian academic residing in the West), whereas Tibetan Buddhism and the Dalaï Lama, who practice a religion which is derived from Hinduism, are fashionable in the West.

Yet, compared to Desmond Tutu and Mother Teresa, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has done more work and his peace movement is phenomenal, from Argentina to Siberia, from South Africa to Fiji.

Mother Teresa mostly catered to Calcutta, but Sri Sri's social programmes in India are making a difference everywhere through service and spirituality.

I was watching Bono, another front runner for the Nobel Peace Prize on CNN the other day, along with Bill Clinton and Klaus Schwab, chairman of the Davos Economic Forum. True, Bono has done good work raising money for poor countries through concerts, but I thought that it pales when compared to the scope, universality and breadth of Sri Sri Ravi.

There has also been talk of a thousand women getting the Nobel Peace Prize. But this is would only be a face-saving gesture, which would dilute the dignity of the Nobel Peace Prize

And this again raises the question: Will His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, an apostle of peace for all, not get the Nobel Peace Prize, just because he is a Hindu? That would be a sad day for India and for the world.

Francois Gautier is the South Asia correspondent for Marianne, the largest selling French magazine and the editor of La Revue de l'Inde, a Paris-based magazine solely devoted to India.

To be continued…

Ravishankar's hankering for the Nobel Peace Prize (part 1)

2010-04-12T19:29:00.006-04:00

BY WHISTLEBLOWER

In spite of all his lectures to his followers on avoiding feverishness & just observe their desires & let go, Sri Sri was very feverish about getting a Nobel Peace Prize. The guy , so ever hankering for more fame and glory and power & political influence, wanted a NPP badly and was flogging his senior teachers/members of his inner circle, at full speed, to get it for him. They, in return, hoping for more recognition from the master and earning his favour, were flogging everyone else. Without any trace of shame or humility, Sri Sri , casting all cautions to the wind, was demanding his lackeys to get this NPP for him. When confronted with the question as to why a godman claiming he has no desire for fame & glory wants NPP, he would say he doesn’t want it for himself, he wanted it for his organisation to get recognition for all the good work they were doing. And when asked why he wanted recognition for the organisation (was the work being done to get recognition?) , his reply was so that with a NPP under our belt we can do more work!!!! Oh, ya!!!

Next question of course was how come Guruji, this self-claimed God & Master of universe, who had nature under his command & was reincarnation of Krishna, Christ, Shiva & God & Gurudev & Buddha what not and someone who could perform so many miracles & even bring people back from death & make things happen like magic, how come he couldn’t just wave his magic wand & get a NPP easily. And the answer , for those foolish enough to ask, was that he wanted to give his teachers and followers an opportunity to grow and learn & earn good merits!! If he would make everything happen so easily then they wouldn’t have opportunity to grow!! A reply heard many times from Guruji in sticky situations!!

In Sep 2004, all AOL centres received an email saying:

The Nobel Peace Prize (NPP) Project has been launched with Guruji’s designation of an international team to work quickly and quietly on this initiative, initially with the following members:
Peter Payoyo, overall coordinator, Netherlands
Christopher Kiran Byrt, Norway
Christoph Glaser, Switzerland
Werner Luedemann, Germany
Ewald Poeran, Netherlands
Fahri Saatcioglu, Norway

and were duly advised in the same email:

A final note: We urge everyone to be very discreet about this matter. It is the standard policy of the Nobel Committee that nominators and nominees must not publish nor advertise their nominations. Guruji’s nomination will be unnecessarily jeopardized if we allow the NPP Project to be exposed publicly. So let us all just keep the smile, keep the silence, and wish for the best.

ie, even though WE know & even though YOU know the orders for getting a NPP for Sri Sri comes from Guruji himself, we all have to keep this as a secret!!

These top echelons in turn were asking for National coordinators (NC) to assist with this project. But in no time, as Sri Sri’s pressure on them increased, they changed their tone to the NCs from one of asking them for their assistance to one of demanding for reports re how many letter of nomination they have got.

It went from:

The National Coordinator will act as a focal person for our collective efforts and will become part of the global coordination network to assist in Guruji’s NPP nomination.

to:

To the National Coordinators who have not shared any news to the International Coordination Team, you may wish to get in touch ASAP and kindly let me know what is the real score on your grounds.

In the coming days and weeks in the run up to February 1st, I and the other members of the International Coordination Team will be calling you individually by phone so that we may be able to share personal updates about progress made on the project. This is in line with the instructions given by Guruji yesterday to the effect that the International Coordination Team must call each one of the National Coordinators for encouragement and solidarity.

Guruji has the list of NPP National Coordinators and he mentioned that he is counting on you, and each one of our national coordinator-colleagues, to rush this project to the finish (end of this month) and to accomplish our mission with a smile.

In line with this latest directive from Guruji, may I therefore request each one of you to send me a.s.a.p. (at the latest this Friday night) the NAMES OF NOMINATORS whom you have approached in your own countries.

The committee members & Guruji’s secretary Jaina, would send personal emails to those involved saying things like:

Gurudev asked me to get in touch with you personally. HE said approach parliamentarians and professors... and finish the work by end of January

so there was no doubt whatsoever Guruji was personally pushing this project & exerting all pressure he could on his senior teachers & they in return were pressurizing others!

The above NPPP committee members were sending emails left & right, saying things like:

Yesterday in Brussels, I had the opportunity to talk to Guruji about our project. His message and his blessing to all of us is:

Let us work harder and give our very best to come up with many NPP nomination letters before the end of this month.

The pressure is building and is wonderfully upon us to make a miracle happen! May I enjoin everyone, in typical Art of Living fashion, to rush and make haste, and create wonders for Guruji and the NPP project during this auspicious New Year.

This Saturday, January 15th, Guruji will meet with the members of the International Coordination Team in our Ashram in Bad Antogast (yes, he will be in Germany this weekend). His instruction, relayed by phone last Sunday, is for us to come up with the LIST of people who have definitely agreed to write NPP nomination letters.

They were sending draft letters & glamorised biography of Guruji to coordinators & basically harassing them to get nomination letters, throughout quoting Guruji said this & that, making it plain obvious the orders came from Guruji himself & using it as an opportunity to boast about their closeness to Guruji!! And for these lackeys to get closer to the Guru, everyone else had to bust their butts, so they could get the credit!

Guruji met with of the NPP Project Coordination Team last Saturday afternoon in his room in the Ashram at Bad Antogast, Germany. The members of the team that went to see him were Christoph Glasser, Werner Luedemann, Ewald Poeran, and myself. Also in attendance in the meeting were some Art of Living colleagues who had an interest in the project.

Guruji was presented with the list of all confirmed nominators as of Saturday morning, which was a compilation of all the names of individual nominators that you have sent me, or which you have notified to other members of the international team. The list of confirmed nominators is subdivided into three categories: (1) those who have actually already sent nomination letters, (2) those who are already writing their nominations, and (3) those who are very likely to send nomination letters before the Feb 1 deadline. The list also indicates the NPP country/project coordinators responsible for the confirmed nominations..... Guruji went through the list page by page for several minutes. I can certainly report to you that Guruji expressed satisfaction on the fact that we have secured at least 130 confirmed nominations as of Saturday morning. It was mentioned to him there were four heads of government (1 president and 3 Prime Ministers) who have supported his nomination so far. It was also mentioned that many more new nominations will be secured in the coming days.

Guruji sends his love to all. He has also given specific instructions addressed to particular countries and coordinators which I shall communicate individually to those concerned in due course.

Guruji’s general directive remains: the members of the interntional team as well as our roving NPP project contacts will continue to call you via phone or email to facilitate progress and to exchange information up to the last day of our project. So please have patience with us on our follow-up calls, and do kindly keep the international team directly posted on the most recent developments concerning particular nominators in your own jurisdictions.

May I take this opportunity to thank all of you for the assisting in the effort to prepare the report presented to Guruji last Saturday. Gurji was certainly happy with our report, and with our overall performance thus far. May I also thank the NPP coordinators and AoL leaders who were there in the Ashram to give me personal updates concerning the NPP project in their respective countries.A full and final report on our project will be submitted to Guruji in February.

And after sending those involved particular drafts of Nomination letters & asking them to send those, suddenly they sent an email saying:

Due to widespread concern, and on account of numerous feedbacks received by the International Coordination Team, may I reiterate the following reminders:

1. The ‘model nomination letter’ circulated earlier (Word document: “Example and Elements of a Model Nomination Letter”) is for your guidance only. Use this document to get a general idea about the particular nomination letter which you need to draft, when this drafting is called for. The ‘model nomination letter’ should NOT be copied verbatim. Some nomination letters have already been forwarded to the Nobel Committee in Norway using the text of this illustrative nomination letter. The sincerity and political impact behind the massive nomination of Guruji to the 2005 NPP will be seriously impaired if there are any more letters sent to Norway using the monotonous text and style of the ‘model nomination letter’.

Henceforth, new nominations that are in the process of being obtained by NPP coordinators must ensure that the nomination letters are original and worded differently – to reflect the unique personality of the nominator, and describing his/her personal experiences with Guruji as well as the local/national situation concerning Guruji’s work. If you need any drafting assistance, please let me know.

The email below sent by the above NPPP committee exposes the sham so beautifully. It is so revealing:

The continuing CONFIDENTIALITY AND SECRECY of the NPP project – our concerted and collective campaign to solicit nomination letters for Guruji – must be absolutely maintained and protected with utmost diligence. One leakage of any single aspect of the NPP project to the public domain, or public knowledge of any written suggestion that Guruji is somehow involved in this project, will spell immediate disaster.

To preserve the integrity of our mission, I ask everyone involved to take a step back and examine each and every communication that you have sent out (especially faxes and emails) to “others”, even those addressed to other Art of Living colleagues. Please check whether you have mentioned any fact or reference about Project that may be interpreted wrongly and cause prejudice to Guruji. For example, have you communicated to some other person a message to the effect that “Guruji has instructed that he wants you to get a nomination from so and so” or, “Guruji wants to know who are nominating him” or, “Guruji is asking whether you can help us in the NPP” or, “Guruji has asked us to work fast on nominations”? If you have, please let me know a.s.a.p so that we can rectify the situation.

Lapses or mistakes along lines that could prove damaging to Guruji might have been made at the height of your eagerness or excitement to obtain nomination letters for Guruji. It is part of our responsibility to immediately correct these mistakes.

The confidentiality and low-profile approach underlying our NPP Project does not mean that what we are doing is wrong. On the contrary, we are engaged in a quiet, noble mission. The reason why we keep our Project top secret from start to finish is simple: we must not give any reason to the Nobel Committee (or political opportunist therein) to mis-characterize what we are doing as a self-promotion campaign by Guruji. The secular politics behind the selection of the Nobel Peace Prize winner will never be able to comprehend the meaning of our “Jai Guru Dev”.

And from time to time, the use of the words were so revealing too, Freudian slip perhaps,:

For NPP Coordinators and Contacts who have notified me of their 'harvest', please check the numbers reported against your own records.

As the pressure was building higher on NPPP committee members, they started to send contradictory directives. One minute it was:

Only eligible nominators must be approached to write nomination letters. Potential nominators who do not fall clearly and categorically in the list of qualified nominators should NOT be requested nor invited to write a nomination letter for Guruji. Please disregard any rumor or message saying that the Nobel Committee has relaxed its rules concerning eligibility requirements for nominators. Dignitaries or high officials who are not included in the list of nominators, are to be excluded. Stick to the relevant guidelines set in previous NPP Bulletins.

The next minute was:

At this critical juncture, Guruji’s candidacy urgently calls for our support, literally everyone’s support, to ensure victory. How do we give our support? This is what we propose to do: let us send “letters of support for Guruji” in the thousands to the Nobel Committee in Norway. The elements of this new campaign are as follows:
1. The names of the individuals and organizations officially nominated to the NPP 2005 have been published. After the nomination process, any person can now send a letter or communication or declaration to the Nobel Committee to express support for, or make a comment on, any nominee.
2. Given this opening, we are in a position to harness the power of world opinion in favor of Guruji. We will ask anyone and everyone FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE to write a letter of support for Guruji, to endorse his candidacy to the NPP 2005, and/or to thank all those who have nominated Guruji to the NPP 2005.
3. A letter of support from anyone means exactly that – anyone inside or outside the Art of Living community can write a letter. Children, students, soldiers, policemen, prisoners, business people, government officials, households, community leaders and shakers, Muslims, Christians, professionals, migrant workers, fishers, the sick or hospitalized, those in conflict zones, the wealthy, womens’ groups, scientists, artists, politicians, school teachers, VIPs, etc., etc. – in short, anyone who cares for Guruji and his cause for peace and human values can send in a letter of support.
5. I myself have written a letter of support for Guruji, in my capacity as the head of a non-profit foundation extending care to seafarers in the Port of Rotterdam. Each one of us, and all those around us who have been touched by Guruji, can surely send a letter to support Guruji’s bid to the NPP this year.
6. The only CAVEAT is: a person should NOT identify himself or herself as affiliated with the Art of Living Foundation or the IAHV (or any other organization founded by Guruji) when s/he writes a letter of support, because this will be seen as an unethical and indirect self-promotion by Guruji. If an author cannot affiliate himself with a proper role or position (like, “as a Budhist” or “as a 10 year old child” or “as a businessman”, or “as an ordinary worker”, or “as a citizen of Norway”), then he can simply write: “as a human being who is deeply concerned with the peace situation in the world [or, peace situation in my country] , I am very happy to know that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar has been nominated to the Nobel Peace Prize. Our world will be a more harmonious and peaceful place for all if Sri Sri Ravi Shankar wins this award. So please make him win. Thank you, xxxx”, or something to this effect.

The good news is that Guruji’s candidacy, from all indications, is being taken very seriously indeed by the Nobel Committee. But Guruji is not the only leading NPP contender. There are other NPP candidates that have launched powerful, mass-based campaigns. Let us back up Guruji with the power and a force that the Nobel Committee cannot afford to ignore, namely, the inspiration and peace that Guruji has himself gifted to all who celebrate his grace.

[Did you read number 6 caveat carefully? Even though they were emailing AOL members to write these letters of support, they were telling them to lie & do not reveal their connection to AOL/Guruji. This widespread act of deceit of course was not confined to NPPP, but is a common strategy in all AOL PR. All those articles you see by so called independent journalist praising the Guru & his work are witten by AOL Teachers, his communication team & his PR machine.]

And then in their next email they would say:

It has come to our attention that the email I sent earlier this week, which was addressed to all former national coordinators of the NPP project, has been circulated indiscriminately by one or two of our colleagues, treating that email as if it were a ‘chain letter’. As a result, that email has reached people who could potentially misunderstand the purpose of our undertaking.

To avoid further confusion and misunderstanding about our enterprise, I am therefore sending out this cautionary reminder to everyone concerned:

1. The goal of our campaign is to have many 'letters of support' written and then sent to Norway. The best approach to realize this goal is to have intensive person-to-person meetings or discussions in order to explain our campaign and to get results. If a national coordinator or focal person feels that my email should be shared to other people for information purposes, then please please be extra-cautious in your choice of contacts or addressees to whom you forward that email. Make sure that only responsible and discreet colleagues get it. Like this email, that email was meant as a confidential and very personal communication.

2. This campaign is NOT Guruji’s campaign. Basically, it is a campaign of independent, like-minded individuals all over the world who believe that Guruji should win the NPP 2005. This means that it is NOT an official project of the AofL or the IAHV. To illustrate the point, may I refer you to my own letter of support (attached) which was mentioned in my last email, and which will perhaps clarify the important guideline that letter-writers should NOT be seen as AofL or IAHV officers/representatives when they write their letters of support.

Two other guidelines for your kind and immediate consideration:

4. I mentioned “children” in my last email as subjects included in our campaign. However, the focus should instead be on “young people” (or teenagers) who have achieved a certain level of maturity and discretion. So let us please focus on encouraging young but sufficiently autonomous/mature people to write letters of support for Guruji (and not little children, lest we be accused of manipulating infants for our campaign).

Yes, you read it right (#2 above), suddenly we went from Guruji designated a team to win him NPP & Guruji chairing the meeting &his hands on approach to project and Guruji said this & that to it “is not Guruji’s campaign”!!! That It had nothing to do with Guruji, it was “a campaign of independent, like-minded individuals all over the world who believe that Guruji should win the NPP 2005”.

What fun!!!

"I said YES. This was my mistake, I agree."

2010-04-12T17:21:00.001-04:00

BY JOSH

I have gone through your blog and I really appreciate the work you have done. It has relieved me in many ways. This is an attempt to share my experience with you like others.

Recently, I was tortured, troubled and forced to go to AOL course by one of my close friend. The thing is, I was going thru bad patch of life, some emotional failures, job hurdles etc. I shared this with my (so called) friend. She started coming to my house, sending SMS, emails, early morning phone calls etc to "convince" me to go to course. This continued for 4 weeks. Already I was suffering emotional failures, so just to get rid of it, I said YES. This was my mistake, I agree.

Later on the course day, just to check whether I am really going or not, she came to my house to drop me to course location. To verify whether I am doing full time course, she kept watch during course end timings every day. I struggled to do course as I was noticing that this is FAKE. They asked to do stupid things, such as abuse person sitting in front of you and let him abuse you. Whatever he says, just smile!! This was so called as knowledge point, 'accept people as it is'. I am against compromising when I haven't done any mistakes. Then they played stupid games, asked to dance and SK. At the end Ravi Shankar chanted some mantra. I asked teacher that what is this mantra, she said "Guruji went into 10 days silence and Lord Brahma appeared in him and gave him that mantra." I was surprised. I realized that I wasted my Rs. 1250/- Then they asked to purchase gifts from gift counter and share them with course-mates. I realized that this was marketing strategy. I wasted few bucks there.

My friend came to my home saying that I can give you guruji's blessing. Asked me to close my eyes and kept hands on my head. Later she said that guruji has come via me and they are relieving you from pain. Later she started coming to my office and started asking me to get more people from office to relieve them. I was going mad. Didn't know how to get out of this nexus.

Course ended. I thought I was out of it. But I realized I made a mistake by leaving my address details and phone numbers with them. After 2-3 days, teacher along with there colleagues came to my apartment. They asked me to gather set of people so that they can 'spread' the word. I strongly opposed them. They asked why? I told them I don't have faith in them. They asked - in whom you have faith? I told as I am Buddhist, I have faith in Lord Buddha. I am not die-hard follower but I have some faith in him. I was shocked with there reaction. They said this: "Lord Buddha is dead. Our Guruji is alive and god resides in him. Why are you following a god who is dead? Follow Guruji, the Living God. As he is alive, he can sense your feelings. Forget Buddha, Follow Guruji" I was shocked, how can they play with such feelings? I strongly insisted them to go out of my apartment and not to call me again. They replied: "Foolish people learn from own experience, wise people learn from others experience." They left and I was relieved a bit. I thought its over, but was unaware of there nexus.

Next morning, I stared getting SMSs about following kriya from my friend. I was tired of this. I thought as she is a Doctor, well educated and from well established family, I had to quit this friendship.

Atlast I am out of this AOL nexus and living a happy life. Suggesting people to read your blog. I have already sent your blog link to her to realize the truth.

Thanks for doing this graceful work. Keep it up!!

Hi from another ex-AOL Teacher

2010-04-08T16:19:00.002-04:00

BY TRUTH SEEKER

Another teacher passed me your blog & it has been very healing for me to read it. I knew it’s content to be true as soon as I read it, as I had experienced most of it first hand. It also came across very clear to me that the writers of this blog are doing this blog out of good intention of healing anyone hurt by AOL & informing others & provide a much needed medium for people to express their truth & first hand experiences, to share & support each other. As inside AOL there is no place whatsoever for speaking up & those who do so are personally & viciously attacked. It is an atmosphere of secrecy & terror (some of it spiritual terror, ie using people’s love & devotion against them speaking up or explore their doubts!)

I had come to see the web of deception for a long time & hence stepped back. But the path of recovery (emotionally & spiritually) was a lonely & tough one. I wish I had access to a blog like yours when i had to work everything out on my own & felt isolated & on my own & had to deal with all kind of emotions (As I once was so devoted & dedicated to guruji & gave so many years of my life to him, so to get free was very painful, but the right thing to do.)

I know how the organisation works & I know how the policy of divide & rule works, how they get people to spy on members & how to attack people personally, isolate them, defame them, etc, etc. I am sure any person of integrity will come to the same conclusion re Sri Sri & his organisation. Those who continue deception have no integrity & have their head or hand in the trough!!

Anyway, just wanted to tell you how much I have appreciated reading your blog & how healing it has been for me. Few other teachers & volunteers who have also read your blog have found it useful & it has speeded up their recovery & helped them to break free.

I can not reveal my name as I don't want the Gestapo police on my door. I have been attacked personally many times for standing up & speaking out & knowing too much. And I know how low the Guru's bulldog terriers get!

Anyway, God bless you & all other contributor. I will be passing on your blog to others who wish to know more & free themselves from this web of deception.

Please keep up your good work. I don't think you have any idea how many broken hearts & disillusioned people are out there because of AOL. Once the word gets out about your blog (& I will do my best to do it), it will grow exponentially. And I do hope it will help to prevent any innocent people from getting caught & hurt & used in AOL as we once were.

Love,
Truthseeker

PS. Looking forward to the day, we can talk to each other by first name & not worried about the dangers of speaking freely. Now, it is too dangerous as I know how Guruji uses his dogs on leash & how threatened they feel when someone speaks up.

Any suggestions?

2010-04-06T07:52:00.001-04:00

BY ANONYMOUS

Dear Klim,

You may post this as a separate entry.

What can be done if one member of the family is still under the influence of 'Art of Living' web of lies and pressures?

We are associated with AOL for more that 10 years in India and New Zealand. After our last year visit to Sydney to attend a Part III course with SSRS, it became apparent that the movement is more about publicity, number game and money than any real spiritual experience. Since than I have quietly disassociated myself from most of the volunteering activities in Auckland.

However, due to my partner's attachment to Sudershan Kriya and Satsang, I am unable to totally leave AOL social circle. Her attachment is so strong that I fear revealing my true feelings about AOL and SSRS. The fear is more about her state of mind which will be shattered and she may not be able to cope up with that. I am slowly and slowly making efforts to stay away from AOL activities. Currently, due to SSRS visit to our city she is devoting much time in AOL slavery.

What suggestions can someone make so that I can take her and our family life away from AOL and SSRS?

The chair is sizzling

2010-04-01T11:35:00.007-04:00

In order to be “somebody” in the AoL, one has to go through the hot chair at least once. It is a process done in DSN (a requisite for TTC) and in TTCs. RS explains one has difficulties criticizing and being criticized and both are an indication of ego. Thus, the infamous “hot chair.”

Though I agree with this “knowledge point”, I believe criticism should be constructive instead of random and destructive. Unfortunately the “hot chair” was more an exercise in which the teacher vented all his/her unresolved power issues and frustrations, and the participants their aggression and fears. By the end, the participants were broken down, vulnerable, demoralized, some traumatized, perfectly ready to be manipulated and brain-washed (a common exercise done in cults).

I remember a woman being yelled horrible words, including “slut!!! bitch!!!” just because she has big breasts. A gay man was called, “Fagget!” and many other demeaning things related to his sexuality. Another, who confessed she had been beaten up by her husband and had an abortion, which she still, 20 years later, felt guilty about, was yelled, “You deserved to be beaten up! Look at you! Who would want to be born to you! You deserved it! You bitch!” Can someone please explain how this can help anyone in a positive way? Definitely, neither the one criticized nor the one criticizing. It is not criticism, it is insulting. Worse, insulting in the name of knowledge, spiritual growth and “your own good”!

Teachers often misused their power and this exercise in various ways. I remember, for example, there was a teacher who wanted to get rid of someone. She thought this man was not worthy of being a teacher (although he had been made one) because he was “gay, fat, ugly and poor” (her words). She, the head in her community, gathered the rest of the teachers and the board just to put the man on the “hot chair”. It was demoralizing and abusive. I reckon the person had a lot more studies, knowledge and centeredness than many other teachers of the area. Unfortunately, they simply did not like him, felt threatened by him and were jealous of him. Not only did this person leave the AoL but it took him years to overcome the trauma it caused.

Looking back I see love was often used as an excuse to abuse someone. “This is all for your growth, to make you stronger, see how much the guru loves you.” Whenever one was abused, one was given that explanation. I guess, love can kill too.

I remember once the organization and the guru had done something horrible. My students, confused, asked a senior teacher why they were treating me so poorly. Her explanation was, “Understand that the more you are attacked and suffer in the AoL the more it means you are evolving.” For heaven’s sake! Some twisted thinking we followed!

I remember always asking, even when I became a teacher, how come so many senior teachers were still so nuts and mean if they had dedicated so many years to the path. The answer would be, “Oh, but you should have seen how he/she was before!” Funny, I found myself giving the same answer many years later, when perhaps, the correct one was, “this is just a sect, there is no growth here, it is all an excuse.”

Someone who was beaten up by the man RS told her to be with, was told she had to observe her own violence because she obviously was provoking the beating. The point about “we attract violence because there is violence within us” (the famous Gandhi example Shankar makes: Gandhi, the man who preached non-violence, died in a violent way because he was violent to his wife and to himself) is not always valid. Everything needs to be applied with logic and reason, rather than to justify “the means to the end”. What was so violent about Tibetans before the Chinese took over, tortured and killed? What is so violent about a child who is raped and killed? Of course, I can almost hear someone whisper, “past life karma.” Come on!

Anyway, some wicked lousy arguments we listened to and followed! Challenging them made one a rebel, with shaky faith, no devotion, lacking surrender.

What is even more funny is the man who preaches about the value of criticizing and being criticized cannot and does not like to be on the chair himself. If you never want to be in bad terms with Ravishankar, NEVER tell him you disagree with him or that something he did is wrong. Like, never tell him his organization lacks ethical practices and values, or that his teachers are bad, or that the Silver Jubilee was not really that successful and people were unhappy, or that an article someone wrote about him with some negative remarks were actually quite accurate. In any case, failures and mistakes are always ours, and achievements and glories always his.

I am often surprised by the reactions of AoLers leaving comments in this blog – aggressive and quite off-centered, and the fact that RS is apparently worried about the existence of it. Is this what I think is happening? RS is shaking on his hot chair! Yet he still does not and cannot understand this blog is not interested in destroying his organization, but rather to offer people a space to express themselves and find healing. Not everyone needs to agree with AoL/RS or think AoL/RS are the best. If they see it as a criticism of their actions and people, there is a lot I guess they should ponder about their own ego, maturity and hidden agenda.

Apparently the head of the AoL marketing department (what a joke) and the US board are planning a meeting with RS to discuss how the blog has become a virus for the organization. Apparently even teachers are disturbed and having doubts after reading the blog.

1. If none of these stories resonated a little bit with ones experiences, then one would neither have doubts nor feel disturbed. On the other hand, many who have left, actually find healing with the blog because they identify with many stories.

2. If the organization really was about spirituality and its guru so great, then why even discuss “the blog” at the board level or at all? If a program is good, no virus could affect it. (I wonder if Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have a board meeting to discuss all the news published about them. Imagine then Berlusconi would be in meetings only to discuss the press!).

3. The blog is overflowed by comments and emails from AoLers “daring” and “demanding” to be published. They are full of rage, hatred, often, quite imbalanced. Beloved ones, we left an abusive relationship and we will not enter another one, especially with mini-SriSris, thus, please don’t boss us around and tell us what to do. So far we posted every comment, unlike Bawa and Dinesh who only post those in favor of their voice. However, there is no room in this blog for AoL abuses nor demanding tone. Having been slaved and slapped around for whatever time was enough. On the other hand, we have received many messages from former members thanking the blog and requesting we keep this going as well as the space for healing. Thus, this is what will be respected.

4. If the organization really was about spirituality and the teachings effective, why do their followers write with so much rage, hatred and off centered? Why do they even check out the blog? Why do they perceive it as a personal attack towards them? Why are they even sending damage control teams to police activities of freedom of speech? We are all free to believe whatever we want, and it is OK if not everyone thinks AoL and RS are the best. It is time to grow up and realize it is OK.

5. It is interesting, when one is in disagreement with “them”, they label it as “bad energy” or “negativity.” But if they are in disagreement with “us”, they are “righteous and evolved.”

6. By the way, they have even tried to "hack" the account by sending faking an mail from "Gmail" requesting our full name, password, phone number and country within 7 days, otherwise, our account will be closed. Unbelievable. Why all this fear? If it is that good, why fear anything at all? It is more a mafia than a spiritual organization. Where did the spirituality go?

Can someone please find logic to any of these points?
What about you don’t see intentions behind my actions and I accept you as you are?

What can I say? It seems not even Ravishankar lives the knowledge and certainly his asana is sizzling. But don't worry, as we were often told, "It will be good for your ego and your growth. We love you."

Siddhis, the ally

2010-03-28T13:09:00.002-04:00

When I first was introduced to SSRS, so much had been spoken about him, I imagined him a lot bigger than he really is. In any case, by the time I sat in his presence for the first time, I was convinced he could read my thoughts, and, as years went by, I attributed many other supra natural powers to him. Even when people said, “Gee, he is so short”, I’d be perplexed, “What do you mean? He is not that short, is he?”

It is said he can see our past, present and future, and liberate us from the cycle of life and death, as well as remove our karmas with just his presence or serving him. It is said he can change the weather – “I am nature! It flows through me! Nature does what I tell it to do!” he once yelled at me, “Don’t you yet understand?!” It is said he can produce fragrances: “What do you want? Chocolate, roses?” It is said he can predict and he knows everything about you even when you are not present or know everyone’s names. It is said he can cure people even of terminal diseases (even the blind recovered sight, and the deaf hearing). In other words, he knows everything and he is almighty God.

AoLers call these so-called powers, “siddhis”. Many people attribute him mastership and the state enlightenment with the argument “but he has siddhis.”

I have met many people with these “gifts”, many more accurate and precise when predicting and curing, yet, they don’t brag nor call themselves a “spiritual master”, nor claim to be more evolved or enlightened, and certainly do not use it as a means to dig into people’s wallets. These “siddhis” are just skills that anyone can have, and do not indicate at all anyone’s state of evolution. There is a difference between a clairvoyant and a mentalist, and neither of them, in a healthy mind, would claim to be a Guru or want to be one. In any case, even so, many of his predictions are flawed and many of his so-called cures and magic, hoax and tricks a-la-Houdini (maybe he is just the reincarnation of Houdini or related to David Copperfield).

Before exiting the cult, a friend started keeping track of all the predictions he’d state in public, as well as all the claims in numbers, prizes and events,and then check them in the internet. Right after the 2004 tsunami, he predicted, for example, another would soon hit the Atlantic. After the 9/11 he predicted attacks as important as the one in NY would take place in London, Frankfurt. A nuclear war between India and Pakistan that also did not happen, though he later claimed was saved by a maha kriya. Of course, for every such prediction he’d insist we needed to get more people to the knowledge to “save the world”, only our knowledge and SK would prevent chaos and bring peace to the planet. He insisted a teacher married a man who sabotaged her stay in the country and work, and was having an affair all along with another married woman! He blessed the daughter of another teacher to marry someone they found out ONLY the day of the ceremony, the man was married with children! He insisted a devotee who was very sick he did not need more medical check-ups, but just do SK thrice a day, because he’d live another 17 years, yet he died a few weeks later. Not to mention, every year he predicted he’d win the Nobel Peace Prize: “This year we’ll get the NPP.”

What we usually labeled as super natural was rather someone giving him prior information or intuition and common sense (note: it is well-known psychotics possess a sharp intuition doctors often call “sixth sense” or “clairvoyance”, I knew a case of psychosis which regardless of the sunshine, he’d say, “At 4 o’clock it will rain”, and it would; or “such and such is …” and it’d be exactly as he’d say. Medical psychosis diagnosed in this man who, despite his “siddhis” does not have call himself a Guru).
When it comes to real things, he really does not know everything. When a friend of mine left, he told her she should not be worried about losing her position and then told everyone else it was because she wanted to have a family. The woman left because she could no longer agree with the unethical practices of the movement and had lost respect for him! He even accused her “lack of faith” to having spoken to a “bad influence” when she had not been in speaking terms with this other person for years! How many times did I call him and he’d ask me where I was or what was I doing! I often provoked him by saying, “What do you mean? I thought you knew everything.” In private he often asked, “What did he say? What happened? What do you think?” Of course, to justify his “cute innocence” we’d say, “He knows he has hairs but he does not need to tap to how many exactly he has. Of course he knows everything.”

He knows people have a lust for magical thinking and miracles. Though he initially critized Sai Baba and his path by stating it was not a path of evolution because their faith relied on miracles, he himself started that trend too. In fact, when this started, amongst teachers we’d often make fun of it, by adding, after a stupid story, “It’s a miracle!” He wanted them told in courses and esatsang, and there we’d be, sitting in long eternal sharing sessions. Though, often he himself would be surprised with the stories. You see, he does not know a thing, he simply knows the weaknesses of people and how to manipulate and use good-timing in his favor.

All this magical thinking simply “idiotized” us. “Oh, Guruji told me to take the TTC and I could not, but after he told me to do so, I called the airline and I found a ticket for only $100! He is so amazing!” People! The airline had a good promotion! Sometimes there are good air fares and you happened to get one! “And just when I was saying that to him, he turned around and looked at me!” Gee, he just happened to look at you! “Oh my god! Guruji gave me his blessings and when I talked to my boss to take days off for the course, he said it was OK! Guruji is so amazing!” Hello? Maybe you were entitled to a few days off?“But he can remember all our names!” So what if he does! I remember everyone’s names too and where each one of my students sat during their first kriya! And, it is not true he remembers everyone’s name or that he knows everyone! We, people close to him, teachers, etc. coach him often before the meetings. He’s often told me, “But I don’t know who they are”, about some of even his board members! “I asked Guruji for his blessings and then my business picked up significantly.” Honey, you simply are talented at what you do and you would have done that with or without his blessings! “Ever since I do the practices I don’t fall sick anymore! And my skin looks so good!” What about maybe your health would have been just as good without the practices and your skin is good because you got good genes? Jesus! I have even heard RS claim a woman was more beautiful because she joined him! Many old timers who have left are actually afraid of speaking out because they fear his power of “destroying” via the mind, magic, etc, “He has powers he uses in the wrong way”, they say. Sadly, I also got sucked into all this stupid magical thinking too and blew it out of proportion with the obvious final ending: “His siddhis.”

The sad thing about this is it is used in the wrong way to manipulate and weaken people more. “If Guruji says so, it is because it is that way.” I have seen people injusticed with this thinking. People who did not do anything wrong, yet because Guruji said so, or because he supported someone in favor of that idea, then, it must be so. Thus, at the end of the day, in AoL one loses authority over one’s own thought process, judgment, values, power. Instead of empowerment, we give away our power. “Guruji says ….”. “Guruji knows …” Let's remember that magical thinking is what took several cult groups to mass suicide and other calamities.

A true spiritual master is made by the amount of siddhis. It’d be utmost pathetic shallowness (that we all fell for unfortunately). In fact, I don’t recall any miraculous stories attributed to Buddha. And the teachings of Jesus Christ do not revolve around his turning water into wine twice. Their teachings, their persona transcend all these little stories, miracles, siddhis.

It sadly is just an indication of how superficial and lost our society has become and, thus, how easily we can be preyed by these con-men. And before one says, “Guruji says ….” Or “what did Guruji say about this?” One should ask oneself, “What do I think about this?” “What actually did happen?” “How do I want to my life to be?” “Who am I?”

I wonder then, why did his siddhis not prevent this blog earlier? Did he not know there’d be one eventually? Why is he accusing the wrong people of being behind the blog? Shouldn’t his siddhis know? Why is he even accusing or threatening or fearful of people expressing themselves? It is just a blog of opinions. That is all. Isn’t he above it all? Didn’t he say, “Words are futile”? (God Loves Fun). Wouldn’t his siddhis tell him nothing will harm him because he is the best and the one who would “bring about the spiritual revolution of the new millennium”?

Siddhis does not equal spiritual evolution. Having siddhis or not does not give power to anyone nor make anyone more evolved than anyone else. If that was the case, then, CNN weather report is still my favorite Guru!

Sri Sri 90210

2010-03-26T18:54:00.006-04:00

BY KLIM

I always found TV programs such as Melrose Place, Beverly Hills 90210, OC senselessly funny. Everyone sleeps with everyone, it’s all about the looks - who has what, who wears what, who said what, who did what - hysterical tenfold shallowness. Sadly, not that different from AoL. I jokingly referred to it as, “Sri Sri 90210” (little did I know he’d eventually buy his mansion near that zipcode! Watch out! I have my siddhis too! … should I start a movement?).

Before you realize, everyone in a satsang group would have, at some point or another, slept with one another, dated one another, cheated on one another. Some secretly, some publicly. The fact is one big magnet that pulls people to the AoL is not the knowledge, not the guru, not the Kriya, but the social activities, the opportunity to meet “boys and girls”, the company, the networking (for professional and personal purposes), the fashion statement. When you enter the AoL portal, you find yourself in an international community of contacts, fun-loving people who seem inoffensive in the outside, go out to dinners, hang out in the name of seva. You start feeling important, purposeful and full of friends.

For a long time it feels real. You start believing these are long-life friends, spiritual siblings – after all, you’ve shared your life story in 10 minutes so many times! You’ve gone through humiliating processes in courses, been criticized, confessed dark secrets … of course they have to be your close friends! …. Until you cross to the “other side” and you suddenly find yourself alone, abandoned, attacked, rejected, ignored. Not belonging to them, no longer agreeing with their beliefs, not participating in their same activities, not loving their guru makes you a worse enemy than the one they have not yet converted. Then you wonder where all the friendship, the belongingness, the unconditional love, the secrets and intimacy you’ve shared went! For them, you are a fallen disgraceful soul: “poor xxx, not a chance this life time, bad karma).

In the old Bhakti Sutra talks, Shankar states there are 3 types of people who seek for a guru: 1. Those in sorrow; 2. those curious; 3. Those who seek for enlightenment. Sounds right. But in the case of AoL, I dare state they fall instead into, 1. those looking to network for a better job or spouse; 2. those who feel lonely and/or inadequate/lost in the world; 3. those who feel purposeless, unwanted, bored. No matter in which category one falls, Ravi does not care as long as he gets free labor, an additional body to fill in a space for a picture that demonstrates large following, people to kiss his feet and praise him endlessly, more donations, and extra arguments to pursue the Nobel Peace Prize.

Today I see the AoL satsang environment, the international and local courses hysteria and histrionic fun - shallow, psychotic, immature, deceiving.

In the beginnings years, two kind of people went to RS: Those who left TM and were promised first row seats at the feet of the guru who claimed would take them to enlightenment, and those who wanted to have a spiritual experience with a guru who would give them knowledge and guidance. Around 1999, he changed the advanced courses, simplified many things including his talks and the length of public satsangs. His explanation: those who’d d join thereafter were not that evolved thus things needed to be adapted for them, “the dummies”. (So, if you joined after 1999, this is sadly what the beloved master thinks of you. )

I don’t recall the last time I spoke with him about spirituality. He never had time for that anymore but always for a, “how many?”, events, connections, prizes, money, his reputation, what others had achieved (creating a sense of competition between teachers, thus ego battles that led to more results). Curious, I asked many people when was the last time they had a conversation about spirituality with him. Noone could recollect but they could all remember the same question, “How many?” In any case, if there were any questions, they were more around the “should I marry this person? Should I move to …? Should I finish school? Should I do this or that?”

Actually, a “deserter” said the last time he asked him about his own spiritual growth, He pinched his nipple and asked what and how he liked to practice sex (?!) instead of attending his query.

As it is wildly known, Ravi likes to be surrounded by riches and the rich. You will never find a person from a poor social background traveling with him. Only “VIPs”.If you are in his room, you get to see the latest electronic gadgets, expensive brands, etc. He has the best and not because he is the best but because he likes the best. And thus, his devotees too. I have seen ashramites and full-time teachers spend the money they did not have to own the latest i-phone, computer, brand garment (or get a wealthy devotee to “donate” it to them), and change it all the time! I don’t blame them. Most of the ashramites and full-timers I have met do not come from wealthy backgrounds. Being exposed to all of that, with a Guru who likes to flash and hang out with those who can, must be tempting, and of course, the wish to emulate their beloved one. It was just hypocritical and again, shallow a-la-“90210”, the only difference being, those in the TV show really have that money to spend and Ravi spends the money of others, not his!

Finally, it is not just in the satsang communities that “swinger” activities go on, but at the ashrams too! You just would not believe what happens in the ashrams! One would think it is a “sattvic” place of meditation, seva, silence, celibacy. First of all, in the AoL the last thing one finds is SILENCE. Even in the part 2 course there is no silence. Maybe the students keep quiet, but, have you seen a teacher, even an advanced course teacher BE SILENT? They are the most “yacki-reeh-yack” people of all! They love listening themselves talk!

There is so much sleeping around at the ashrams though everyone claims to be chaste. If you only knew what happens behind those ashram walls! If only walls could speak! There’d be some crazy stories to tell! You’d be most shocked to find out who has slept with who, how, where and why! And Ravi knows it all!

(For those AoLers who are tempted to ask for evidence, as usual, “No, I don’t collect pictures or videos of people having sex, orgies or kinky stuff, especially not with the picture of a guru in the background and the smoke of incense.” If you need evidence to the luxury items Ravi likes and owns, just take a good look, or otherwise, check out his sister and nephews. If you want to make him a gift, keep this detail in mind and He will be very impressed and give you many vegetarian brownie points!)

My story with AoL, Guruji and his family

2010-03-25T10:48:00.003-04:00

BY SINCERE SEEKER

Dear Readers and Contributors,

I too have my story which is very similar to those of the contributors of this blog.

I know some of the deep dark secrets of this family run business (Art of Living, VVM, IAHV, etc.) down to where the money flows. Mr. Narsimhan, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's brother-in-law (Bhanu didi's husband) being on the VVM board India, ashram trust, signatures on bank accounts, and money movements. Having Art of Living related businesses (companies) setup for their (Bhanu didi and Narsimhan's) sons, Arvind and Ajay, and many other things.

I think we all should not lose our basic common sense. We should listen to our inner conscience. Like we teach our children - don't do anything Immoral, Unhealthy or Illegal. Yet all this I have seen in the Art of Living.

1. Being a spiritual organization. I too have seen the hypocrisy in the organization. They don't seem to live the principles they preach or seem to be spiritual at all. On the contrary they could be worse than some participants sitting in front of them. I think all teachers actually need to learn the Art of Living. I have also doubted Sri Sri himself because I have seen him back stage and in private settings. I don't think the spiritual masters I have known of the past have been like him. I have experienced what KLIM has to some degree first hand. I have seen what goes on in his meeting room and inner room. I have seen the worst side of people and humanity around Sri Sri, the very opposite of spirituality.

2. Being a non-profit. I think first of all there are certain standards for this. You can't run it like a family business or go on for too long deceiving people. It is NOT a non-profit in reality. At least Deepak Chopra runs it like a business and doesn't deceive people. Art of Living in reality is a family run business and very aggressive at it. Its deceives mostly the teachers, then the volunteers and finally the participants. The teachers and volunteers are feverishly working non-stop to get a little bit of approval and attention from their Guru, neglecting themselves and their responsibilities. And like a science experiment of mice being given a little teaser of nectar asked to keep running harder and faster with the enticement of getting privileges and recognition, like getting into Sri Sri's room. For those 5 minutes in his room they slog the rest of the year competing with each other thinking, "see I do much more than him/her, I should be allowed inside Guruji's room". Everyone competes to be a lead organizer. So much mania and feverishness! Wow, it is the best sales model in the world. Pay them nothing (volunteers), get max revenue out of them, lure them with attention/approval of the Guru, and then use the money they raised as you wish.

I know all that is posted here about the service project and many other things and in great detail. But in order to protect myself I can't divulge all the information in this public forum.

If not the government (US or India) I hope the public implicates Art of Living and Sri Sri, like the ex-disciple of Nityananda. How long will this deception go on? How many more lives and families be destroyed. I am going to do something about it now. Will you?

3. The good side. Nothing is totally wrong or totally right. No one is totally good or bad. There are so many good qualities that Sri Sri has. He has tremendous amount of knowledge, Vedic and Yogic, he does seem to have powers that I have experienced firsthand. However not being all knowing myself I may be mistaken too. Further, these “siddhis” can be misused and are not an indication of enlightenment. But again, I am confused at the dichotomy of his other side seen in private. Art of Living also has good things: the Course points are universal principles on peace of mind, the meditation, breathing techniques, yoga. The cultic elements start if and when one gets involved in the organization. I have seen many people get destroyed. It is the same with Hare Rama Hare Krishna for e.g., which I think is a cult and again I don’t want to brand it as evil, dark, devilish.

My understanding is that everything is part of God, even the unhealthy, illegal and unhealthy things. We need to be wise to make the right choice. I for one want to be firmly established in the knowledge of Vedas, truly seek answers for 'What is the purpose of live', "Who am I", "what is truth", and be free.

There is much more I know. Enough to digest for now! More later... :-)

A summary of my story with AoL

2010-03-22T15:34:00.001-04:00

BY YN

I had been a part of AoL since 1998 and left it as of a few weeks ago due to what I’ve learned in this blog, others and reflection on my own experiences. I wish to share a summary of my story.

For the first five or six years I was in it, due to some fortunate happenstances, I saw AoL as a benign Neo-Hindu movement. I was in college and the teacher I had was not interested in the large-scale proselytizing that is happening today. He cut the fees lower than what was normally permissible so that students could take the basic course and didn’t explicitly push AoL but instead yoga and meditation. As he was a Sanskrit scholar and an Eastern Religions professor as well I learned what I could so I could fill in some of the gaps and get a handle on Hindu religion and culture, as much as my Western background would allow anyway. During this time I learned Sahaj and took an advanced course, and met Ravi Shankar twice. While I felt the folk close to him were pretty blissed out and the constant “Jai Guru Dev” was a little weird the experiences weren’t bad.

My biggest problem at this time with AoL was the fact that it was trying to couch itself as spiritual and not religious when in fact there were a lot of practices that were explicitly Hindu. I felt this was intellectually dishonest but as I was interested in such practices anyway it wasn’t enough to drive me away.

At this time I wasn’t a firm practitioner and after college I dropped out of AoL for about 2-3 years as I got my life in order. When I got into the group where I live now there were several differences. There is a very high student-teacher ratio here, and many more Indians. I became interested in teaching and started to work on the requirements that I could. However, instead of a focus on the practice and the teachings there was a focus on the organization. Bringing in more people and making connections with the powerful in the community were more important than discussing the teachings and their practical applications. Of course, bringing in people would also bring in more money to fund the projects that were touted on big posters.

We were encouraged to attend as many courses as possible, all described in glowing terms. I also volunteered for events that seemed to be more about bringing in money and doing feel-good award giving rather than spreading practical teachings. As my job status improved I started saving up and eventually took DSN, figuring it would be helpful for my teacher training.

In the interest of saving space (I can go into more detail if wished), DSN left me with several negative experiences. It really is training to peddle AoL and to raise money. The teacher was exceptionally good at patter and there was a lot of sleep deprivation. Due to the stress involved I did end up having several panic attacks, mostly out when I was trying to convince people to sign up for a course. A senior Atlanta teacher noticed the one that I did have in the venue and she took me out of there to calm me down. There were several processes that were helpful to me but on the whole it was an exhausting and weird experience.

After this experience I started doing the Kriya full-time and took a few other courses, Yes+, several special satsangs, knowledge series, etc. I figured that I needed to delve into the sadhana more to overcome the fear issues. After about two years of this all I really noticed was that my panic attacks were increasing and my head was getting more and more foggy. My short-term memory was getting worse. So I did research on Google and found this blog, and I’ve started cutting my ties.

I have left the Art of Living organization and I’m doing self-study to see which of the practices and knowledge points are worth preserving as I move forward on my own. I am of the opinion that while the organization is corrupt and some of the practices are dangerous there have been enough legitimate good teachings from it (or cribbed) that I can’t immediately throw out the whole thing.

Art of Living Course or Curse?

2010-03-20T16:51:00.000-04:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

My first introduction to the convoluted world of the Art of Living was through a very benign-looking “basic course” I took many years ago. There I was, surrounded by wide-eyed, innocent students like myself, each of us looking for something different. Some were there for stress-management techniques, others were there to improve their grades or become more productive at work, and still others were there to find the purpose and true meaning of their lives. There we all were, looking for different things in that same place. And by the end of the course, somehow the teacher had us all convinced that AoL and SK were the magical answer to all our problems in life and the only key to happiness. We were told we were among a select chosen few to come across this “knowledge”, and I somehow believed what I was told. I have to admit, I felt blessed, and from that space of love and gratitude, I devoted the next several years of my life, every ounce of my free time, and every penny of my savings to AoL courses—to attend them, organize them, and teach them. And in hindsight, that first course I took, which lead to all the others, turned out to be a curse that had brought so much misery, and lead me down a path that nearly destroyed my life.

Over the years that followed that first part 1, I had attended many other courses. There seemed to be a lot of pressure in my local group to attend advanced courses (part 2s, DSNs, blessings etc.). The common conception was that these courses were a “true vacation”, an opportunity for growth, or a path to enlightenment, and not to be missed, whatever the cost, especially when given in the presence of ravi shankar. If you didn't have money for the course, borrow it. If you didn't have time to take off work, make up an excuse or just go anyway. These were things people did to get to courses. Our local teachers encouraged us all to go, taking advantage of our weekly kriya gathering as an opportunity to spread the word about these “amazing opportunities”. There was an unspoken competition among peers to get all the requirements done to become a teacher. Somewhere along the way, I got swept up into the mania and dragged myself to course after course all over North America (and even in India). Somewhere deep down inside, I must have known the truth about AoL because often I would get overtaken by a sense of revulsion and anxiety as the course date approached. I truly did not want to go, and often would come close to cancelling. When I asked my teachers about these feelings, they would encourage me to go, like zombie cheerleaders, and attribute all the “negative” feelings I had to “pre-course karma”. After coming home from such courses, I would usually fall ill, and inevitably be applauded by the group for going through such “purification” and “cleansing”. It was something to almost be envied for. Once after an extended course in the Montreal ashram, held in the dead of winter, I returned home with such severe bronchitis that I needed immediate medical attention and was at risk of developing pneumonia. It took me over a month to fully recover. Only in AoL could becoming so ill be regarded as a sign of something so positive.

I was always attracted to this idea of doing “seva”, or selfless service in my community. But somewhere along the way, tens of AoL courses later, the idea got twisted, the wires in my brain got shorted, and I got convinced that the highest seva and the only one worth doing is to organize more AoL courses and recruit more people to spread the “knowledge”. And like a good little “seva warrior”, I did just that. Organizing courses and “outreach” are the true dirty-works of the organization. Any salesman would tell you that the hardest thing to do is “cold-calling,” where one introduces a product for the first time and meets with rejection most of the time. But I was trained well in DSN and TTC1 to “overcome my inhibitions”, and accept rejection, criticism, and emotional abuse. I was primed and ready to be a seva warrior and organize successful events, “come what may”. I would set the course dates, put my own money down for a venue, and then invite teachers from out-of-town. In return, I would receive their “support” and “encouragement” in the form of pressure to meet certain numbers of paid participants by certain made-up deadlines, or else they would threaten to not come at all. I did not want to lose my credibility with the people I had managed to sign up for the course, and I certainly did not want to lose the money I had to invest from my own pocket. Desperate to recruit enough people for these courses, I would make frequent announcements about the “amazing” upcoming event in our weekly satsangs, and I quickly exhausted my supply of friends (many of whom I’d lost due to my involvement with aol), and alienated myself from co-workers by attempting to recruit them and neglecting my work. I nearly lost my job for this “seva” and found justification for my actions in ravi shankar’s words “if you do my work, I’ll do yours.” Inevitably, I was stuck with both our work, and I was the only one left accountable if things failed.

If the numbers fell short, it would be my fault for not “moving with the grace”, not having enough faith, not having strong enough “sankalpa”, or not being fully open to HIS divine guidance. No matter the reason, a failure was my fault, if people didn’t sign up, the problem was always “in my mind”, and I’d be the only one left to foot the bill in case the event fell through. But when things were pulled off successfully, of course the credit would go to ravi shankar, the supreme master of the universe, our divine leader, GOD HIMSELF. I don’t know which was worse—when an attempt failed and the course had to be “postponed” (mind-you, never cancelled to let you off the hook), or when a course was “successful” and proceeded as planned. By the end of the course, inevitably, one or a few of the course participants would be “inspired” to organize the next course, and me, being the “experienced team-leader” would be asked to oversee the whole operation. On too many occasions, I felt compelled, or rather dragged into course organizing for that very reason. And yet again, I’d be the one responsible for the outcome (but only if it wasn’t successful).

Even though AoL had become an increasing drain on my time, energy, and personal and financial resources, I still aspired to become an AoL teacher. To this day, I’m not exactly sure why. Was it because I longed to make a difference in the world, convinced that sk was the answer? Was it because I wanted to be among the “chosen few” (or so I thought at the time) to spread “HIS knowledge”? Was it because so many others with whom I associated aspired to become teachers and I got swept up in the mania? The only thing I know for sure was that I was driven, and somewhere along the way, I stopped asking questions and became unaware of my own reasons for doing the things that I did. I had all those words of encouragement told to me by various AoL teachers ringing in my head. “You would make a great teacher,” they’d say, or “you should become a teacher.” When ravi shankar himself told me to become a teacher, I felt honored, and became the envy of my satsang group. And like a good little zombie, I followed through and took all the required courses.

Once I became a teacher, only one thing had changed. I still had to do all the organizing, but this time, I had no choice if I wanted to remain true to my words. I had to say “YES!” to everything, no matter how absurd the request, no matter how much energy, time, and finances it would require. I had to be in the “yes mind”—after all, I was a teacher, and preaching that very concept to my students. If an inexperienced or mentally-unstable member of the group wanted to organize a 108-person part 1 course, my answer would be “YES!”, or if he/she wanted to organize a 1,008-person event with food and music, and turn it into an intro-talk, my answer would be “YES!”, or if they wanted to invite “guruji” to our city with the promise of a stadium full of 10,008 people, the answer would be “YES!” My answer was always “YES!”, but I’d be thinking “no, No, PLEASE NOOOO!” People in the group would go off to part 2 courses and DSNs and come back with their head full of all these ill-conceived notions that they are superheroes and can do anything, and they’d have all these ambitions and plans for “growth of AoL in our city”. And being the only local teacher, inevitably, I would have to get involved in some way or other. Every course (even those that others wanted to plan or take) was truly a curse that brought more misery, and sucked me dry. AoL had become another full-time job, and the irony was that I myself, who needed most a “true vacation” (which at that time translated into a part 2 course) could not afford to take one due to lack of money or time. I lived in this sad state for years. My productivity at work declined, my relationships with friends and family became nearly non-existent, and AoL had taken over my life.

To help get me through those times, I had successfully learned the art of manipulation as an AoL teacher, and I’m ashamed to admit that I applied all the same tactics that were used to pull me into the organization to recruit others for courses and to encourage them to become teachers themselves. I held “free” events (such as weekly satsangs and “introductory workshops”) and used those as opportunities to sell courses to members in the group or members of the unsuspecting public; I’d always have students share their wonderful course experiences in front of the group to compel others to take courses, and I’d always share my own exaggerated “wonderful” and “awesome” experiences with the techniques or courses; I’d always recruit a number of “repeaters” in any part 1 course who were convinced of the value of the course to help to convince the newcomers of its value and keep the group together; I’d praise those in the group who would make “good” teachers on their skillful delivery of “the knowledge” and encourage them to become teachers themselves. The list could go on and on. Needless to say, the sum total of all these subtle manipulations were used successfully to convince myself and others to further ravi shankar’s pursuit of money, power, and god knows what else.

I recognize that at every juncture I had a choice. No one twisted my arm, and I was never forced to do anything for AoL. But it is in my nature to be agreeable, to want to do the “right thing”, to have a positive impact on those around me, to practice what I preach, to follow through with my commitments, and to take full responsibility for the impact of my words and actions on others. Normally, in real life, having these qualities might be regarded as a positive thing. But in the twisted world of AoL, they make one vulnerable the subtle manipulations, and were the very qualities that kept me slaving for the organization for many years. It was the initial realizations that many of the teachers are hypocrites, that the “trauma relief efforts” are a sham, and that sk, the “gem” of the part 1 course, is downright harmful, that helped me to see aol and rs for the fraud they truly are. And reading all of the experiences and insights that have been graciously posted on this forum have helped me to understand many of the other things that went on in the org. that seemed “not quite right”.

I have been free from AoL for several months now, and with the AoL curse behind me, I have never felt more alive, more invigorated, or more full of honest-to-god joy (not the fake-it-till-you-make-it kind)!

My days as a door-keeper of the holy room

2010-03-17T11:54:00.002-04:00

BY ROARING WOLF

This is the first time I break ”my silence” as a former insider and now ex-cult member of Art of Living. I spent 13 years whole-heartedly supporting the AOL, the then foundry of my life. I was a teacher for seven years, a full-timer four of them. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar was my Guru whose words I put before anyone else’s – even my closest family.

I have witnessed and experienced many of the incidents described in this blog. I have the same wish as the other collaborators to shed some light about the dark side of the organization. We all somehow know how criticizing SSRS in particular is a big no-no, especially as an insider, and how critical thinking around the movement is banned and justified with statements such as, ”You have low energy level. Do more breathing exercises” or ”be more in the knowledge and listen to Ashtavakra Gita” (SSRS´ comments on the Hindu text by the same name).

I was very close to SSRS and had fairly easy access to his room. He called me by name, I had his personal mobile number I could call whenever and I back-massaged him - dressed - in his room many times. The latter was for me not connected with any sexual energies but with a feeling of honor and extreme privilege.

I often played the role of doorman or door-blocker to his meeting room - a place where many people wanted to get in even without a real important agenda. People just wanted to “hang out”.

I remember one of the first times with this ”extremely important” job, realizing the complex and un-written rules that go with such a position:

1) Only a specific segment of people have free access to SSRS´ room: those with lots of money, media-influence, political influence or opinion makers such as actors and other public figures. This lets you right in because such a person could be used as a means to expand SSRS’s agenda.

2) Male senior German, Dutch, Indian and Swiss teachers also go right in.

3) Ordinary people with no titles or special influential powers stand very small chances for personal meetings.

Being the door-keeper was an akward situation to be in. You have to tell a lot of people SSRS is very busy and that they can´t come in. Though it is sometimes true, he often is just sitting on his couch watching CNN and/or not doing much besides chit-chatting with the ”lucky” one inside. Often people inside just sit on the floor – at his feet!! – and stare at him and carefully laugh at every one of his silly jokes or at any of his ”charming and playful” gestures. If an outsider (non-cult member) took a look inside, he would not understand what was so interesting – actually, nothing! So called ”devotees” believe they sit in the presence of the embodiment of God, a rather big deal for them.

Spending a lot of time ”inside” the room, both as a door-keeper or as a hang-out, it often struck me how bold and rude SSRS would comment about people who were not in the room (not a behavior you would expect from a dispassionate avatar-Guru!). I have often seen him making fun of people by ridiculing them in front of the crowd inside. Comments such as, ”She has such an artificial laughter – something is not quite right with her” or ”I think she/he is a blue-star” (a Sri Sri word for someone who is not right in the head).

Once he did not feel like going the ART Excel perfomance the kids had prepared for him. He said, ”It is such a poor performance”. I once overheard a phone-conversation he had with a full-time teacher who was upset and crying. When he hang up, he told the rest of us that because this person was not well because had been made teacher too young.

One of his most senior teachers of Germany, a very nice guy I happened to teach with and spent a lot of quality time with, decided to leave the movement after realizing that following ethical and, especially legal guidelines for organizational leadership was NOT vital to SSRS. The teacher sent a farewell letter explaining the motivation behind his decision. I happened to be in the room with SSRS and a group of people shortly after the teacher’s official departure was in effect. SSRS´ comment was pretty much like this, ”He is free to leave the organization. He anyway never did anything to promote my work!”

Even a hard-headed and true-believer myself then, I felt it was an unnecessary and insensitive thing to say. I never understood why SSRS, in his position as a leader, would ridicule anyone in front of others in that manner. I seems too far from the standards one expects from a Guru of compassion and, furthermore, truly very unprofessional.

The above experiences are just a few I had over the years and though I had a good time during my first years with the AoL, I soon started seeing how things really work behind the scenes. It is fair to say that these insights were the beginning of the end to me.

Behind the holy door

2010-03-15T16:18:00.000-04:00

In the AoL, being able to be with the Guru in his room was a priceless situation. People fought and discriminated in order to be in there. There were those who could walk in and out whenever, and those who could only go in if they had some good excuse/reason, and those who often were outside and were allowed to go in by default. Most everyone wanted to be there. It was the big mysterious place.

I was inside the room many times when he’d made the doorman tell people he was busy in some meeting when the truth was he was watching TV or playing with the boys. Meanwhile, people outside would be fighting amongst them. One learned to find out who was a “blue star” one had to avoid if one wanted to ensure green light into his room. It was often said that if you were around certain people he’d feel it and not let you come in.

“He knows everything. He can feel your energy, if it is low he won’t let you go in.” Come on! He often had to ask who was out there! Does he or does he not know everything?

There was a belief that being in the presence of the master karma was removed, that he gave high knowledge and that it was a great deal of fun. In truth, it was most boring and dreadful! He did not give high knowledge, CNN did, and he mostly was either discussing business, criticizing or making fun of people, or being massaged, while a few read his letters. You needed to pretend to be busy or that you had something important to discuss.

As a teacher I so often encouraged people to write to him: “He reads all your letters. Give him all your problems, he will take them away from you.” I have many times read letters sent to him and sent back replies too (it is not true he reads them, a bunch of immature power hungry people do, and they do NOT keep your stuff private, they later discuss it with their friends). I used to write to him all the time myself until one day I witnessed one of the most denigrating scenes.

A full-time teacher sent him a fax with the word “confidential” written all over it. He did not seem to care about the privacy of it and instead he started reading it out loud to us, mocking every line and her situation. She was going through a difficult divorce and the challenge of taking care of 4 kids while being a full timer. He called her names, made fun of her, laughed intensely. The few people in there would laugh with him too. I remember feeling extremely embarrassed. As I heard and observed my peers and my guru laughing at the poor woman’s pain, I did not have any expression other than that of shock. I knew this woman. I knew her struggle. I knew about her grief. There was nothing funny about it and he had no business reading a confidential letter to any one of us and even less, make fun of someone who had reached out to him in his role as a Guru.

Some time later I wrote him a personal email regarding some personal situations. A few months later, during an event, one of the teachers who is always in his room, stopped me in the corridor and mentioned my email in mocking tone. That was the last time I wrote a personal letter to him. That is how much he respects people, their privacy, integrity, evolution and sorrow. That is how much compassion and unconditional love he has backstage. That is the extent of the high knowledge one got in his holy room.

I clearly remember once a new devotee insisted to talk to him. Her teacher had told her to do so because only the Master could do something about her situation. She sat in a small corner while we discussed business until he finally paid attention to her. In an irritated and impatient tone he asked her to speak out her problem. In absolute shyness, discomfort and sadness she requested he gave her a private time. I remember I was ready to get up and leave when I heard her speak those words. She evidently had something very private to discuss. Instead he raised his voice and harshly said, “Speak! Whatever it is, speak! Why? You feel you don’t belong to these people?” She insisted a few more times, crying at this point, but he trashed her more and more until she bursted out crying and rushed out the door (probably more depressed and abused than she was before walking into the “holy room”).

For a long time I justified the episode as a lesson about belongingness. For Heaven’s sake! What was I thinking!

Ladies and Gentlemen, nothing much happens in that room except a small man trying to conquer the world, trashing people and getting pampered. What about the following scene? One boy rubbing his left foot, another his right foot, another one arm, another his head and shoulders, another placing his head on his other shoulder, Ravi watching CNN. I am not kidding.

My experience with AoL Advanced (Part 2) course

2010-03-12T07:28:00.002-05:00

BY PRAKASH

I attended a Part-II course of AOL conducted by Rishi Nityapragya at Noida (near Delhi) in (4th to 7th) December 2009.

There were certain things which I tried not to accept, but after reading your blog, I am forced to admit the same:

1. The course was advertised in the name of Rishi Nitya Pragya, but throughout the course duration, I could sense that involvement of Rishiji was simply not there. The course began each day from 6 AM and ended at 10 PM in the night. During this period, Rishiji used to be with us only from 11 AM to 1 PM. Then he would come at 9 PM in Satsang.

2. During his discourses, he infact pointedly remarked (which was in quite bad taste) that people should not say that Rishiji is not coming. One should stop complaining.

Why? Is commitment nothing?

Infact the support staff carried the programme with far greater sincerity than Rishiji.

3. At the end of the course, Rishiji litrally shouted on one of the participant in an extremely humiliating manner.

He used to say that he has been teaching Part-2 course since last 7 years.

I could not help in thinking that being a teacher of the course and that too from last 7 years when he cannot control his anger on trivial issues, what benefit will us mere mortals will have?

The joy of sects according to The Simpsons

2010-03-11T08:23:00.004-05:00

Take a break to watch this episode of The Simpsons. Good laugh guaranteed, though a tragic comedy for many of us who recognize many scenes, reactions, phrases, thought processes as our very own for as long as we belonged to the AoL - the joy of sect, with the Guru of joy who promised joy forever as long as you faked it until you made it.

See how many things you recognize. I will start the list:

it's free, the leader, low protein diet, blisstonia, "bhajans", nanananananana leader!, the circle of judgement, "I am dustier!", etc.

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=OQ5UKME8
(click it twice)

ENJOY

With friends like this, one does not have enemies

2010-03-09T06:12:00.003-05:00

I was "home" for as long as I read this loving humble not-at-all-condescending email. I really don't miss the days in which unsolicited advise was given for free in twisted almighty cult psychology manners. "We are the best and right, they/you are all wrong, I am the light, I will show you the way. He is beating you up for your own growth, to "free you from the world"" - stabbed from the back while being patted with a smile in the front, while I should keep the smile "no matter what". With friends like this, one certainly does not have enemies!
PS: I had an excellent successful career, education, home and friends before and post AoL. My mistake, like that of many others, was my gullible love for service and knowledge.

From JA

Hello Klim,

I read with great interest some of your blogs that you have written to malign Gurudev whom you had so much love for. Reminds me of one historical character who deceived Jesus for a few silver coins - do I need to tell you who he was? And do I need to remind you what happened to him? This is not to put fear in you, because you have plenty already to have created the blog - but for you to take some time out and do some introspection - at least you will be saved from your own mind - for your own sake... not for anyone else.

It's a free world, and you can say anything about anyone. A Guru's work is to free you from the world - looks like you were more interested in something else but freeing yourself with the most wonderful knowledge you received from Him...

- Did anyone ever stop you from being a fully employed person who enjoys spirituality and teaching - after all more than 99% teachers of AOL are full volunteers with a job or business - isn't it?
- Looks like you did not have much skills or confidence yourself to make a successful career outside AOLF. Guruji seldom asks people to become full timers - in fact, He tells people to have a healthy family life and serve whenever they can. HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ALL THIS? Or has the hatred taken over you so much that you do not remember anything from your past?
- Have you completely forgotten the enlightening knowledge that you received about this infinite consciousness, or has Truth also become just a fantasy for you?

What are you doing these days other than spreading negativity - is this your plan for the remaining part of your life? Have you considered what you will be doing in the next 10 - 20 years - spreading negativity forever? Wake up my friend - if you are unhappy, go find something else to do - no one's stopping you - there's so much good work to be done in this world and you can be a wonderful instrument. It's like so many employees in my company who keep complaining and bitching about their job, and I tell them the same - stop complaining! If you don't like the job, go find something else to do... because, honestly, no one cares what you are complaining against...

You think you are making friends with your blogs, but I can assure you - you will be left completely friendless until you engage in helping others and in spreading positivity. Stop adding misery to your life - you know this, don't you? Go somewhere else where you can make a positive impact - somewhere you are really contribute. Maybe that's destined for you... And my blessings and best wishes that you truly find a fulfilling life there. You look like you are a good writer - write something nice and uplifting - help others come out of their stresses and fears and anxiety - maybe you don't think AOLF is doing that - but maybe you can do that - maybe show all of us in AOLF what true service is - maybe we can emulate you!

Jai Gurudev & love & best wishes,
Your friend

Advanced economics for the Shankarly inclined

2010-03-06T17:23:00.010-05:00

BY ND, MAHARASHTRA STATE,INDIA

Two years after my first basic course, I went to Bangalore for a Special Advanced course with Guruji. Our basic course teachers described the Bangalore Ashram as heaven, a special divine place on earth, and urged us to visit it as soon as possible. (In India special courses are held between April and July in different states. Since the states of Maharashtra and Gujarat have more followers, they have their own courses).

The fee for a 5 day course varies according to lodging – the fee/"donation" for a room for 5 people is currently Rs. 5,000.00, the cheapest being an open hall for Rs. 4,000.00. The price for a 2 person room or single room goes above Rs. 10,000.00.

Let’s consider their costs: the rooms are very simple, 5 people are squeezed in a room meant for 2, the cleaning is done by volunteers (seva), the only major cost is food. Considering the kind of food provided, the cost per person for the entire event, including other overheads, is not more than Rs. 500.00.

There were more than 2,000 people in my Advance Course. Assuming minimum payments of Rs. 5,000.00 per person, then the net revenue of the course was Rs. 4,500 x 2,000 = Rs. 9,000,000.00.

It gets more interesting. On the second day of the course, the teacher announced Sahaj Samadhi meditation would be conducted during the course: 4 days, 1 hour/day. It was spoken of it in such manner it made everyone feel they should not be missed. The teacher insisted Sudarshan Kriya + Sahaj was the best combination in the world. Hence, almost half of the course participants enrolled!

The course fee was Rs. 2,000.00. I did not feel anything different after Sahaj. In fact, I felt it could have easily been included in the advanced course, though it was Bhanudidi who taught it. (I later found out Sahaj was an imitation of Mahesh Yogi’s TM technique).

The total revenue for SSM course was Rs. 2,000 x 1,000 = Rs. 2,000,000.00 without any additional cost.

My wife even noticed the saree Bhanudidi wore and told me the price. I scolded her and asked her if she was there for knowledge or for looking at sarees and jewelries!

On the third day morning, a Nadi Vaidya (Ayurvedic doctor) came and told us how beneficial it was for us to check our health. Many people went, of course. There were 4-5 doctors. He/She held our pulse for 2 minutes and prescribed medicines to be found only at the Ayurvedic Medical stores located in the Ashram. Together with the medication, Sudarshan Kriya was also prescribed in writing.

Total cost per person: minimum Rs. 700-800. Note these medicines are not available in other stores, thus if you wanted to continue the treatment you had no choice but to get them from AoL. (Personally I find the quality of their medicines inferior).

Then there is the Divine Shop where AoL books, photos, CDs are sold. Generally, in any organization, materials published by the organization are very cheap. But in AoL, everything is very costly. Their much hyped knowledge set of Ashtravakra, Yoga Vasishta are out of reach for the common person. If you ask them why, their response is, “money is used for Seva Projects.” My question is, if knowledge is so important, shouldn’t it be offered at lowest cost? Isn’t that also seva? They don’t seem to think so.

It gets even better. On the last day of the course, after the evening Satsang, when everyone was allowed to speak again, a different Advance Course Teacher, a swami close to Ravishankar with a powerful personality, showed up on stage and asked the participants to form groups of 20-25 persons per city/area. We had to choose a leader who was asked to distribute some materials provided by them. The teacher with great brain-washing skills, spoke 80-100 minutes (a perfect brain washing experience). He explained that material was about Dharma Stambha Yojana (Religion Pillar Scheme), nothing new, for their school, village, women projects, etc. The world will transform within 3-4 years and only two type of people will be there: the ones who contributed for this cause and the others (translation: the good and the bad people). “It is your choice to which side you want to belong. Put your head and brain on hold and listen to your mind and fill the amount. Don’t postpone, do it now.” He then told us 3-4 stories about how people got monetary rewards from the Divine after giving donations. Some got new job contract, some won the lottery, etc. In other words, if you gave now, you would get 10 times more later. Most people completed the forms and committed to sending donations every month for a year. The group leader was made the monitor of the area and if anyone failed to make a payment, he would be made responsible.

My conclusion: Out of 2,000 people, more than 1,500 completed the form. If at least 33% actually paid Rs.10,000.00 per person (average) then receipts were of Rs 5,000,000.00. After completion of the year, you got renewal notice and donation form for following year.

After visiting the Ashram, I felt something was wrong. After listening to Osho’s discourses I knew what was wrong. In India, there is an old saying: charity should be done in such manner that left hand should not know what is given by right hand. So, give and forget. If you give and count, and expect rewards of monetary or non-monetary type, it is not charity, it is investment, it is greed.

I finally understood what the swami did. He was not asking for pure charity, he was sowing seeds of greed in the minds of devotees: if you give Rs.100.00, you shall get Rs.1,000.00 from the Guru. This is not taught in Indian wisdom and culture.

If I calculate the earnings of the AoL from that one Special Ashram Advance Course, the total revenue was of more than Rs. 2.5 crore. (roughly USD 0.55 million). Almost 12-16 Ashram Advance Courses are organized each year besides the "n" number of other courses.

If it were a tax paying business, no one would care where the money goes, but if you have formed a Trust and claim your income as tax free, and take donations for various seva projects, shouldn’t you disclose how much is actually being spent on which project, and how much goes to administrative expenses, salaries and personal expenses? If I have given donations for child education, I am very much concerned that it is spent only for that purpose. I would want to know if it is used for purchasing land or covering administrative expenses. Because it came from my hard earned money! But in AoL, there is no way to know.

Finally, everyone expected people in and around the Ashram to be divine. But the shopkeepers, travel agents, watchmen, fruit sellers, etc. were all normal people full of anger, lies, cheating in business, etc. Our expectations were wrong, but how were they created in the first place? If this “living God” cannot purify those in his Ashram, how can he purify the minds of the whole world?

I trusted the AoL very much and whatever I have done was with full devotion. After the DSN course I felt something was wrong but I could not put my finger on it. After returning from the Bangalore ashram, this feeling intensified. Osho’s discourse helped me realize what was wrong (I am not a Osho devotee but I find his discourse and books really good. I have found several examples of Ravishankar in Osho’s books).

I did not doubt Ravi Shankar even after that. Instead, I wrote a mail to him, describing the various things mentioned above. I was certain I would get a reply from him. But nothing came.

If everything is happening under his instruction, if he gets credit for the selfless work of the few volunteers, then he should get the blame of the wrong doings of his volunteers, misbehavior of teachers, etc.

People’s behaviors do not change only by doing Sudarshan Kriya. Many volunteers claim they have not missed Kriya one single day in the last 4-5 years - they smile. But I have seen their real nature when things don’t go their way. If a person is full of anger, jealousy and hatred after doing kriya daily for 5 years then it proves Kriya does not work.

I left the organization after two years and also required lots of healing to overcome the disappointment.

Ravishankar vs. Nithyananda

2010-03-04T17:50:00.006-05:00

Once during a tour, one of Nithyananda’s teachers approached Ravishankar as he walked into a satsang and gave him a brochure of the activities he was running in the country. I found it quite audacious. As RS sat on stage, his expression was that of worry. He kept looking at the brochure and seemed distracted during the entire satsang. He barely attended the public with the usual whimsical charisma. In fact, he was even rude when taking some questions, snapping at people, saying they were boring him with their dumb questions. “If you want good answers, you need to think of more intelligent questions.”

Some of the people who were seeing him for the first time were righteously offended. Of course I justified his replies, felt small and dumb, and interpreted their attitude as that of big ego. If the guru said we were stupid, of course, he had to be right. We had to make an effort to work on our sharpness!

That satsang was shorter than the usual. He rushed back to his room and urged us to hurry our work in the area before Nithyanand took over! “Call everyone tomorrow early for a meeting! We will make everyone teachers! Everyone needs to hurry and go out to teach! We cannot let his group take over! There is no time!” He made us go into their site and started dissecting it part by part. He claimed everything was an imitation of the AoL and RS: the logo, the design of the website, the poses of the pictures, the content of the knowledge, the kind of courses and activities (note how he reveals the thought out business. It is not spirituality. It is business). He was appalled at the cheap imitation yet worried “the cheap imitation” would take over. He did not have the "come what may" smile then.

The next morning, he yelled at everyone for being lazy, slow and “chickens”. He alerted them another group, which was not as good, was doing a better job and would take over before we did. If that happened, he warned us it’d be our karma for allowing bad knowledge to be spread. He discounted all the TTC requisites and made everyone a teacher! There were people who had only done one basic course. “Make them watch Ashtavakra and give them the tape! Quick! Quick!”

The group left with the expression of little children scolded for being useless and stupid. “He called us ‘chickens and lazy’, then we must be! Oh, it will be our fault if that guru reaches every state and city before we do! What are we going to do?” Frustration, impotence, guilt, feeling of inferiority, failure, anxiety, are some of the feelings people took from that meeting – their encounter with the Master. Guilt, manipulation, abuse. He was a master at that. Somehow, we were always blamed for the failures and he was only responsible for the achievements.

I think about this Nithyanand scandal. How bizarre, how eerie. I can’t imagine what his devotees must be feeling! The confusion, the deception, the nausea! To know that your guru has done wrong and/or is a fraud is already horrible enough (I know it well), but to have it on tape! ... I can’t but remember the above story and conclude what a crook this RS is! He was worried about a con-man? He was competing with a fraud? Why would he worry about competing with worse knowledge and techniques? I thought he knew everything! Didn’t he know everything???!!!

Nithyanand definitely did not take good notes. RS is a lot more careful and controlling. Only brain-dead robots have access to his rooms and belongings. Hidden cameras, copies of accounting, etc. would never be a possibility … or so I think. Honestly, I hope I never get to see any tapes of RS fondling and “playing” with men.

Somone commented earlier: On Nithyananda's scandal, SSRS has commented 'People should live the values. Otherwise such things will only happen. So only people should have faith in spiritual tradition'.

You got to be kidding me! I guess the show must go on …

(make sure to read the first comment posted under this article)

Sri Sri Reincarnations

2010-02-28T16:14:00.006-05:00

Here is a list of the divine rumors I recall, spread by devotees, teachers, his holiness himself about the divine reincarnations of AoL devotees and Sri Sri, “the embodiment of God”, yours truly. Others may have more to add to the list. One can laugh at them, or believe in them. It is too much coincidence or too much narcissism that all great names, except those Sri Sri does not like (e.g. any Muslim related), reincarnate in the AoL community.

It is claimed RS is the reincarnation of 1. Krishna, 2. Shiva, 3. Vyasa, 4. Adi Shankar, 5. Jesus Christ, 6. Buddha, 7. Swami Brahmananda Saraswati.

Nitin, now Rishiji, claims to have been Arjuna.
Suki, now Swami Sukchaitanya, claims to have been Ravi’s brother in a past life.
Most senior teachers claim to have been some emperor, queen, yogi some previous life time, as well as Jesus Christ’s apostles (btw, the 12 of them and Mary are there!)
Wolgang Amadeus Mozart is apparently in the holy family too: Arvind, the holy nephew.
Pitaji is the reincarnation of Rama, whereas Sita is a teacher now "on leave" - another scandalous secret the holy family managed to cleverly cover.
Inevitably, about a thousand women claim to have been his gopis when he was Krishna, and Bhanu, of course, who knows what she claims!
Mary and Joseph, parents of Jesus Christ, were also in the AoL(though no longer with the organization. Some problem with accounting, board, … no further comments).

When the Eternity Process was first introduced, some old timers came out saying they saw themselves being crucified in the times of Christ. SriSri’s response was, “Oh, it still bothers you?” Which immediately confirmed they were indeed the great apostles and he, the reincarnation of Christ.

I’ve heard him speak in first person when talking about Christ and Krishna. Exactly what people need to confirm the rumors. I’ve even heard him elaborate a great story about how before Christ was born, a congregation of rishis approached Vyasa asking him to “save” the West because there was too much ignorance (the Middle East). Vyasa told them he’d born there to “save it.” (note: India, according to him, is always sacred and more evolved, the West is dark, thus India saves the West, as it continues to do so, since, according to him, produces all enlightened spiritual masters). He gave instructions to 3 rishis – the 3 Wise Men, and he, Vyasa, was born in Bethlehem (while he remained Vyasa in India – Star Trek already already existed in the times of Ramayana!). The 3 Rishis traveled from India to Germany to reach Israel, and stopped where the AoL German ashram is today in their way in and out of the expedition! In fact, they meditated exactly where SSSRS sits in the Spring Hall to give satsangs! Very conveniently magical.

When he went to Israel for the first time, he claimed children ran to him yelling, “Messiah! Messiah!” But the elders, “stressed out, angry Jews”, would pull them away from him. His explanation: “Children always recognize me.” (though I also have seen many children freaking out in fear in his presence too! Of course, it’d be cleverly explained as some terrible past life impressions that were being lifted upon his presence!). I clearly heard him say he did not like Israel, a country of ignorant people who have no chances this life time, and would never want to go back. He claims the Middle East will never have peace. Yet, he went back after that because he needed brownie points for his Nobel Peace Prize campaign.

A swami said that once Ravi called while he was on tour in South America and said he was in hell. In case you need translation: he meant hell is where South America is (apparently, to be more precise, Brazil). I find it awful, but maybe his Latin devotees should know what he truly thinks of their homeland (maybe they’d consider moving out of “hell”), instead of that show he puts up for them in international events: “Ay, ay, ay, ay ….! Bonita ...” When he actually means, “Bonita my ass”. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!”

In one way or the other, all these rumors were used to further convince people of his proclaimed grandiosity and that he is not just a simple con-man of southern India, but God on Earth himself. If anyone attacks him, he and devotees will typically say, “Christ was also attacked but few were able to recognize him. Time will show.” As cleverly elaborated in the Ashtavakra tapes: one glorifies the prophets of the past or waits for a future one, but cannot recognize the one living in the present.

He once had an akash reader tell us, “Soon the world will know who he is.” Back then, I was excited the world would find out he was God on earth! It’s been over 10 years and most of the world still does not know who he is (though AoL claims the contrary, he is not that famous in the real scale). Looking back, I wonder if the “soon the world will know who he is” meant, “soon the world will find out he is a fraud, a con-man, a sociopath.”

There was a senior teacher who went to India to teach one of those advanced courses, which I will not name – a course that did not last long. It was held for top VIP/CEOs of India and it was a course that relied on verbal and psychological abuse. One most powerful CEOs got mad and sued the teacher and the organization. The teacher had to immediately flee the country, cannot go back to India and the whole story is a big guarded embarrassing secret. Instead of simply humbly recognizing the mistake of both the arrogance, ignorance and psychosis of the teacher and the irresponsibility of the organization, removing the teacher from her position, even not allowing her to teach anymore, Ravi and the teacher justified it with a past life story about her having been some queen and an unrequited love story the man not knowingly acted out on. Of course, the CEO was in fault, not able to transcend his impressions. The teacher was just a messenger, expressing his repressed feelings/memories.

I could go on and on - I know the stories of reincarnations of so many AoLers! I think I may have even met Napoleon! But there are only two points worth making,

1. If one is truly that great, does one really need magical thinking stories to prove it? Would a true enlightened spiritual master use these arguments to hold and acquire more followers? Would he/she really care to mention any of this? Is it not too cocky??? Too not humble? Too irrelevant in the spiritual path?

2. Many other well known gurus also claim to be the reincarnation of all the above listed characters, ie. Krishna, Jesus, Buddha … Can the so-called enlightened gurus please raise their hands and decide who is who for real?! Or has Ravishankar also monopolized all the claims, as he has in the NGO world: "the largest NGO of volunteers"?

So much for living in the present moment!

Violence and deceit promotes you

2010-02-22T16:57:00.005-05:00

A common satsang question was, “Why are you surrounded by such horrible people?” A usual clever Ravishankar response was, “because they’d do more damage in the world” (implying it was his “seva” to keep them close to him). Witty. People laughed, some applauded. I have never met anyone with such a talent - an expert orator, creative liar, most brilliant manipulator. They say Hitler, Mao, Stalin, Castro possessed this skill with the words too - mesmerized and hypnotized the masses.

When I joined “the club” I believed spiritual qualities, values and growth was what promoted someone or made someone a Part 1, Part 2 or meditation teacher. With time, I realized anyone could become a teacher (in fact, in some areas, you can do so in 3 weeks: TTC1 and TTC2), even those with violent psychopathology. Furthermore, the ones most capable of extortion, distortion, manipulation and violence were the ones who got promoted the most to higher positions.

“Here is this evolved soul who will teach my advanced course.” Wrong. In the AoL violence and deceit is what qualifies someone for promotion. Let’s face it. How qualified and evolved does one need to be in order to play the Hollow and Empties while the class undergoes trance induction, keeps silence, cleans toilets and does dishes, and if someone wants to leave, you tell them and the class it is a sign of their weakness, fears and ego? How difficult is to teach meditation when mantras are listed and given by age and gender? How advanced does one need to be to physically, verbally and psychological abuse in DSN? How deep does one need to be to press play for people to breath in and out with “So Ham So Ham So Ham”, and recite, “Expectations reduce the joy in life”, “accept people as they are”, etc.?

If you carefully observe, the people Shankar coincidentally places in position of power are the ones quickest and best in manipulating and lying without any ounce of remorse. “The means justifies the end”, stated Machiavelli. I learned the meaning of this in the AoL, though even today I cannot agree with it. How can one create a better world if values are corrupted in the process? What good can be created if it is done with “bad”? What kind of apples will a tree grow out of a rotten seed? What kind of education, moral values, role models will people act upon if what they learn is crookedness is what gets awarded, celebrated, promoted? Is this the man who claims will “change the world”? If this is the methodology he proposes to implement the change, I rather it all remains as it is. At least, “in the world”, I have encountered a lot more people with ethical and moral values, conscience, and most importantly, discrimination between correct and incorrect.

I know of teachers and board members who have secretly falsified signatures, or fabricated emails someone did not write, or stolen money, or simply, lied, lied, lied. Just recently a friend who left the organization found out, they were using a bank account under her name to organize courses! To her dismay, they did not seem to understand the unethical and immoral aspect of it. “They were just being ‘practical’”, they explained. And, instead of apologizing, they were offended by her demand to immediately cancel the account. Other than the financial implication, using a bank account with the name of a former teacher indirectly implied she still supported AoL activities - deceitful in many ways. In the world, such action is labeled as unethical, illegal, immoral, whereas in the AoL it is “practicality”. Anything in the name of the greater cause.

Another friend still whines about not having ever been promoted to advanced course teacher despite her seniority, sadhana and unconditional seva. She is convinced she never evolved in the path. She still cannot understand she was too nice, gullible and naïve! Being "evolved" in the AoL means, being crooked, not having values or sense of morale, and being capable of anything “for the greater cause” = “the interests of the guru.” (Ravi gives many vegetarian brownie points for such behaviors!)

One will never find a correct, ethical, deep, genuinely nice person in a position of power or leadership in AoL, though for the public they may project great PR skills. I always struggled with this distorted model that was presented as “the best form of spirituality”.

Some of the most senior teachers have histories of violence that seem never to disturb Ravi. One of his all-time most senior teachers is known for his physical violence but whenever incidents were reported to Ravi, he nodded in disbelief, turned around, made the victims into the aggressors and losers, demoted them and instead, promoted the aggressor. I know of at least four women (though there are more than 4) this TTC, Part 2, Sahaj, etc. teacher, assaulted, and had the “privilege” to witness one of the incidents. He was physical with two of them, almost seriously injuring the head of one of them, and he strangled the other two. The funny thing is – big AoL secret - one of the people he tried strangling is another one of the most senior teachers (Part 2, Sahaj, TTC, etc.), also known for her disproportionate violence, apparently right in front of Ravi (aren’t you wishing I gave names at this point?)! In the world this is known as criminal offense: “attempted murder”, but Shankar instead promoted them both to advanced course teachers, and higher positions thereafter! (Perhaps, for having had the audacity to strangle someone and the other for fighting back? Kinky! Perhaps if they choked each other to death then, they would have spared many people from later abuses.)

The other teacher is known for throwing things, e.g. chairs, forks, knives, even an entire painting over the head of someone while yelling the life out of the person (yes, like in the cartoons or movies, except cartoon characters are not real, and in movies, professional extras and special effects are used).

Once she completely lost her head for some little incident in a store of the neighborhood of a family that hosted her (common complain of many of her hosting families). She yelled and cursed the store owner in such outrageous manner the family is not welcome to return to that store! Not every family member was involved in AoL, thus they properly asked the question, “Doesn’t AoL teach people to control their emotions and transmit peace?” Back then, a brain-washed true-believer myself, I patiently explained about pita imbalance and how because she is so evolved she feels everything, blablabla. She herself justified, as usual, as expressing the repressed anger of the person in front of her.

Cursing, kicking, abusing and all, knowing her irrational violence and temper tantrums, Ravi promoted her to Blessings course teacher. “One can never understand the Big Mind,” devotees correctly explain. Excuse me, where is the “big mind”? A histrionic top “role model”, teacher trainer who has often publicly cursed the guru himself, teaching Blessings courses. Go figure.

Or you have the story of the senior teacher who has people line up for darshan, whose picture many people place in their altar, who has affairs though he himself is married. We know his wife suffers with the incidents. Who knows how many families he has broken though! Despite knowing about his extracurricular activities, Ravi promoted him to Rishi – the married saint. Go figure!

I will never forget the conversation I heard between one of the most dynamic teachers and another one (who had been her student), wondering why she never got promoted, instead the lousy horrible ones were, etc. Her student's reply was loud and clear, "Because you are too nice."

I have myself witnessed and been informed of TTC teachers slapping students, throwing water at them, etc. in the name of their tough egos. Participants would be gathered to swear they would never talk about the incident. This is an indication even the teachers knew it was wrong but they’d justify it “for the greater cause.” Poor people believed they helped students move forward. Somehow, the participants also knew it was wrong but they also were persuaded to believe it was for their own good. At the end of the day, they bowed down to their teachers “in tears of gratitude” or rather, in stretched psychological dissonance, like the beaten wife who rushes back to the husband, with broken ribs, fractured jaw, because she was made to believe he loves her and it was all for her own good.

A senior old time teacher who was often described as "Hitler" to even RS himself, even in official letters asking she was removed ... TTC teacher and leader of an entire area, and more. Another old timer who was known for sending Nazi propaganda ... advanced course senior teacher. Go figure.

In DSN I saw teachers literally physically drag students into a dark closet after confessing they were afraid of dark, enclosed areas. The yelling and shivering of the person was an indication of the tough ego that needed to be cracked. The more the person did not calm down, the more the teacher would uncontrollably yell at the person. Note under such stress, people who suffer of claustrophobia can break down into a panic attack, choke to death or fear, or have a psychotic breakdown. But of course, “the ego and the greater cause”, and the “grace of the guru” is there to protect you. In the world, it is irresponsibility, and if something happens to the person, it is a crime (though I am sure AoL would explain it in terms of karma).

I wonder though, are the students the ones with the big egos or the teachers and the guru? These are only a few examples of what teachers of high level courses or in positions of power hide behind the “fake it until you make it” smile, “walking like a king, being a perfect servant.” In the AoL, such people get promoted, whereas in the world they get reported, treated, locked up or medicated.

Conclusion: if you want to be important in the AoL, either have a lot of money, or think and act like a mafia godfather or better, learn Thai-box, to kick and punch, with style … and a smile.

Let me share my painful story with the readers of this blog

2010-02-18T07:59:00.004-05:00

(note: the author provided his full complete name. I removed it for his own safety)

All these years I have been looking for Anti AOL websites but did not come across any. Today when I googled again, your blog was the first on the list. I am so relieved and happy to know that after years of hiding under a shroud, the truth about AOL and Sri Sri is being made public.

Let me share my painful story with the readers of this blog, my name is xxx - was in AOL from 1997 - 2004. My wife did the course and then became a very dedicated volunteer with the local AOL centre, we were located in South East Asia. She persuaded me to take up the course and I did so to keep her happy. I must confess that I enjoyed the course though the kriya did not do anything fantastic for me. My wife started spending a lot of time away from home and our kid doing seva. The child was left with the maid most of the time. Visiting teachers stayed at our home, she used to spend time cooking, washing their clothes, taking them shopping and paying for their shopping. I was not too pleased but I felt that I should not stop her from doing seva.I hardly saw her when these visiting teacher stayed with us.

An advance course was organised and the teacher stayed at our place. My instinct told me that my wife was emotionally involved with this teacher but I brushed it aside. She was smitten with him, it was so obvious.

One afternoon I had to come back home and I found both of them in bed.

I cannot remember now what I did in my fit of anger. I divorced my wife, my child is in a bording school and I live a very lonely life.

I made it my life's mission to destroy AOL just like how it destroyed my loving home. I have sent emails to many AOLites all over the world regarding my story - I received emails threatening to hunt me down and destroy me asking me not to propagate lies about the teachers and AOL.

This blog is an answer to my prayers, I will forward this blog to everyone I know.

Let me assure readers of this blog who have doubts and who feel that all these are lies to undermine AOL, everything written here is the truth. The end is near for AOL,people are beginning to see the real nature and are avoiding it.People are reaching out to other gurus who are sincere, humble and have true knowledge about the Vedas and scriptures.

I have found solace in Ramdev Baba and Avdhoot Babaji

Please keep forwarding this blog to as many people as you can - we cannot be complacent and allow frauds to thrive on the spiritual needs of seekers.

20-40-40

2010-02-13T10:55:00.020-05:00

There are many stories about Sudarshan Kriya and courses gone bad, except we all kept them secretive in order to sell more and because the problem was never with the Master or the technique, as per his talks on the 3 types of doubts. However, I know of many people who ended up in psychiatric hospitals with no possibility of recovery – serious psychotic disorders, after a TTC or DSN. I know of people who had heart attacks, hormonal dysfunction, etc. after practicing Sudarshan Kriya. I heard many similar stories from other people. Of course, we were dissonant enough to find reasons to justify each situation, e.g. he/she was not doing it right, past life, not enough grace, not enough surrender. As usual, AoL/SSRS are perfect, the problem is always somewhere else.

I was most disappointed when I found out not even the home kriya was created by “Sri Sri Ravishankar.” Apparently, a senior teacher of his insisted people needed a formula otherwise noone would continue the practices. Thus, this teacher, a former TM teacher who is also no longer in the movement, came up with the 3 rounds of 20-40-40 and wrote the teacher's manual and possibly the kriya notes too! Actually, Ravishankar does not even know what he is doing when chanting So Ham So Ham So Ham. People are obviously going to feel something if you take them to exaggerated rhythms of the breath, from very fast to suddenly slow, etc. It is not about the grace of the guru, it is physics and hyperventilation. Even the pranayama and bhastrika did not come from his own knowledge. He learned them from a teacher who is also no longer with him, who in turn learned it from a Kundalini yoga master. I was most upset when I heard this and understood why he always spoke so badly about Kundalini yoga. I once witnessed him slapping a boy after he told him he was not getting what he wanted in the path with him and that he wanted to go to a Kundalini Yoga organization. After slapping him he warned him people get brain-washed and murdered in Kundalini yoga!

The “poorna yoga” taught for many years was also not his. A teacher of his, who is no longer with him, introduced it. Sri Sri Yoga is also not his. It was brought by a teacher who left the organization many years and later returned. I understand it is a perfect imitation of another yoga school and not a big deal of a yoga after all. DSN is an imitation of Landmark, of which Nitin (rishi) attended before AoL, which is today wildly known as a cultic movement and that many people suffered serious psychological damages. YES+ was put together by the dynamic psychotic Bawa and Dinesh duo (when are they coming out of the closet?).

Knowing all of the above (and the names of the people involved), if they were all true, I am confused as to whom I should have bowed down to or be grateful to all these years. The ones who are truly behind the techniques, or the one who claims to have created them all?!

Many magical thinking stories were told about the kriya tape too. We were taught to believe one needed the grace of the guru in order for it to work, and when one was disgraced, it would not work. There were stories such as someone not being able to use the tape all of a sudden because Ravi did not bless him/her to use it. Tapes were given out almost ceremoniously. Sadly, once someone got the tape, they also got a big dosage of arrogance and stupidity. More than a blessing, that tape was a curse. People fought because of it. For heaven’s sake! It is just a tape of a lousy recording and it is now available ON-LINE! (he claims it does not work without his blessings, when in fact, it is what he wants everyone to believe in order to have power over everyone - as long as people believe these stories and in his "powers", he can keep manipulating, lying and stealing, and the Sudarshan Kriya remains a magical "savior" technique. People, it is basic irresponsible hyperventilation with negative effects in the long term!).

Once, upon his request, I needed to reproduce some tapes. Until then I thought there was some sacred ceremony in the process of reproducing tapes, but instead, he said, “Anytime. Just do it.” I insisted, “Any time? Hour? Should I not do anything special?” “No, any time. OK, Monday, Shiva day sounds good.”

He invents rules and processes as the needs arise, though I know his official reproducers do have specific instructions and they feel "very special people". Of course, he needs to keep the lies going and ensure people believe in the sanctity of the tape. Without it, he looses power.

Where is the grace or the magical touch of the Guru if the Sudarshan Kriya found on-line can be downloaded and effectively used entirely without any problem? I still have my tapes and, once in a while, I check them just for fun, to see if the “grace” is still there. Dear friends, they still work 100% and they have not evaporated. Does that mean the guru is still blessing me? I am so lucky!

There was a time people carried their diplomas proudly after finishing law school, med school, engineering school, etc. Imagine people stupidly proudly carrying A TAPE wrapped in a piece of silk as a symbol of evolution! A tape that chants So Ham for 30 minutes, is blank for 15, chants for 5 and then, poorly plugged in, "turn to the right side". Something is so very wrong … and it is not the tape.

“Be scared, Be very scared!!!!"

2010-02-05T10:59:00.002-05:00

This first one was sent by someone in the Northeast of the USA, most likely a teacher and board member:

"Dearest xxx, Jai Gurudev. I know you are hurting but do not say or do anything that you will regret later on. With Lots of Love"

Notice how it is sugar coated threat between "Jai Gurudev" and "With lots of love", twisting the meanings of words to accomplish goals.

Here's another, less subtle than the last, written by someone in San Carlos, California:

"Dear Klim (xxx, whatever), Some of what you say in the previous blogs is true. However, now you are talking about pure rumor. Playing in a game way out of your league. Be scared, Be very scared!!!!”

When Guruphiliac started posting stuff about AoL, they also wrote to a couple teachers who had left, accusing and asking them to stop writing bad things about them. On this occasion, they again wrongly accused someone of creating this blog, someone whose only crime was to share information I have revealed a few times. Is sharing a crime or should we all still be promoting courses and the greatness of Sri Sri Ravi Shankar despite it all?

Am I wrong or are these threats? This is how secrets are kept in the AoL. This is how many who leave don’t have the courage nor the energy to speak out. This is classical cult behavior. I am almost glad these messages were sent so that people can see how they operate. Cult members lose their integrity and values when it comes to defending the organization. I imagine discussions are taking place deciding how to handle the “situation”, brainstorming possible authors of the blog, thus the same person was picked on twice, hoping to intimidate, confabulating strategies, lies, if necessary. What a déjà vu! Excuse me, WHERE IS THE SPIRITUALITY? Is this not more like business acting without accountability, credibility, ethics?

They picked the wrong person. Threatening the wrong people, or anyone as a matter of fact, is a mistake and it reveals a lot about the true nature of the organization and its leader. On the other hand, what can they do that they have not already done to any one of us? Humiliate, torture psychological and emotionally, lie, physically attack, harass, deprive of freedom, abuse, defraud? Murder is the only thing I have yet not heard of.

When information is restricted and handled through intimidation, censorship, threat, manipulation, it is, among many other things, DECEIT. If, despite knowing the other side, someone chooses to still go for it, then, that is real value, victory. That truly is when “losing is winning” (see
http://www.deeshaa.org/2010/01/21/in-love-losing-is-winning/), but Ravi and co. may be too narcissistic to understand this. Making such efforts to keep the organization free of flaws for the public is unreal and corrupt. “Looking for perfection is imperfection,” said Sri Sri Sri Ravishankar - yet he does not understand it himself. (Even Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie fart. Believe it or not, Ravi also farts. I can corroborate that but not present solid proof).

I hope others contribute their stories. It is about time more people drop their fears and come out of the cave. They can do nothing but threat. I wonder who is really scared. I have suggested my friend whom they are accusing to inform the authorities or a lawyer. If people haven’t yet, I hope the cult alert signal starts ticking in their heads. As far as I am concerned, sharing ones experience is NOT a crime. For heaven’s sake! AoL events are all about sharing! (public talks, courses, esatsang, so many hours in just boring sharing!). And now suddenly sharing is wrong? Or is it about sharing only what Ravi approves?

I have some news for the AoL damage control team--this is a free world, and it is our birthright to be able to speak out the truth and share our experiences and that of others in the interest of healing. I will continue as long as I feel so inspired, and stop only when I am ready to stop. AoL and “SSS” may once have controlled every aspect of my life, but now, no longer. You may have robbed me of years of my life but can never take away my freedom of speech.

The farce is clear. More than a spiritual movement, it is the Gestapo.

The Sri Sri Sweatshop

2010-02-03T17:19:00.009-05:00

A sweatshop is a working environment with unhealthy conditions that are considered by many people of industrialized nations to be difficult or dangerous, usually where the workers have few opportunities to address their situation. This can include exposure to harmful materials, hazardous situations, extreme temperatures, or abuse from employers. Sweatshop workers often work long hours for little pay, regardless of any laws mandating overtime pay or a minimum wage. (wikipedia)

It is indeed great business what Ravishankar has created for himself. He charges good money for his courses (the ones he did not really invent himself, from Part 1 to TTC, and creates many prerequisites, eg. If you want to do DSN, you need to have done ….), he asks for donations, he gets people to do things for free for him, he registers as a non-profit to avoid paying taxes, and has free, cheap, ilegal labor, and calls the whole thing “seva” – karma yoga.

As a former exploited AoL full-timer, I cannot blame him for having exploited me. How can I? I accepted the terms. But, I can, correctly, say he deceived me. He used me, squeezed the juice and life out of me, mistreated me, abused me and tossed me.

Some full timers worked and produced more than others. However, there was not a coherent system that took care of the teachers or compensated them according to results. Some full-timers did absolutely nothing yet got enough pocket money to survive, while living off people’s good will. In general though, the stipend was not enough. Full-timers had the habit of never saying how much each one earned because we all knew we got different amounts. Stipends varied in the US, from as low as USD400 to USD 1000, the same amount in euros in Europe, no home, no medical insurance, no retirement plan. Needless to mention, we could not afford any of that with what we got. Until recently, European teachers could consider the German ashram their home, but now they also need to pay to stay there.

Until recently, teachers in the West taught for free, and some even covered expenses of courses. In general, getting expenses reimbursed was also a struggle. I know, however, that in the past 2, 3 years RS started giving teachers of certain areas 10% of the income of the course, probably as an incentive for them to create larger courses. In some countries, the 10% policy is yet not applied. However, in India and some countries of Asia, it’s been practiced for at least 10 years. Indian full-timers got the most since they had stipend, 10% of courses, and received many donations from students. If any one of them was sent out to the West, it was good income, for courses others organized for them, and to which they just walked in like kings and queens, under the weird assumption that being Indian automatically made one more evolved. The overall system was not neither even nor fair.

Full time teachers in the West always struggled. It was never enough. Try living from USD 400, even USD 1000, without a home and medical insurance. Most “gypsied” around from home to home, staying in people’s couches, or air mattresses, or even closets! If one ever got sick, one had to pray, like RS suggested in those cases, or he’d say, “Oh, we have so many doctors in the AoL.” It was definitely a terrible way to live, even begging for medical treatments. If one was a traveling teacher, one simply could never go back for second check-ups or even treatments since one depended on finding an AoL doctor one needed in the area one was in that exact week of the ailment. And of course, pray or seduce some devotee to pay for the treatment and medication. It simply makes no sense. He sells “quality of life” and “health” yet he gives it to none of his teachers, and truthfully, he could careless about them.

A friend of mine, a full time teacher was advised by her doctor to take immediate rest. Her health was at risk due to high level of stress (I guess SK does not reduce stress after all). When she went to Ravishankar with the news, he frowned and said, “No, no, no, you keep teaching, there is no time.” No time for what? No time for him to conquer the world? Or no time for her to take care of her health?

Another full time teacher got so sick from overwork, excessive travel and poor living conditions, she could not even move around. She actually developed quite a few diseases and had no choice but to stop everything. In fact, she could not move nor eat. She was one of the most dynamic teachers who produced a lot of devotees and money, yet, when this happened, he removed her from the lousy stipend for as long as she did not go back on the road – the money she needed for medical bills. Since she had nowhere to stay, like most full timers of the West, she went to an ashram and, the ashram assumed they’d charge her for the stay.

Did the money teachers make not go to the organization: the maintenance of these ashrams and seva projects after all? Ravi so often said, “You do my job, I take care of you.” In the practice, it was not like that. We were double taxed: first made to donate all the money of the courses one produced, organized and taught, but also pay the organization. Upon the complains of this teacher, the responses were (the typical AoL phrase for everything that cannot be properly justified), “This is just to make you stronger. This is to make your faith unshakable so that you can be one with God. This is a test to see how much you can trust and surrender to the guru.” Instead of seeing she had a point, they made her into the weak devotee, and an overall drama queen. Looking back, she was right. It was unfair, incorrect and abominable.

There was another full-time teacher to whom the organization owed more than USD 10,000. He fought so hard to get the amount reimbursed (with a stipend as low as the ones mentioned, any amount was a fortune!). The board was disorganized and cared more about their status rather than the duties. The guru did not care despite all the requests for help. Finally, under a lot of obvious pressure, he stepped firm to get the money, and, not only was he not reimbursed by the organization, but by a devotee almost 12 months later, and the board warned him to watch out “because they’d destroy him” for having told on Ravi about their incompetence. Who did Ravi protect in that situation? The board that had gone out to destroy the poor person, with lies and sabotage, instead of the teacher who had done so much work for him so many years. It was not about values, truth or loyalty. It was about business. It was better to lose one rather than many. It was more promising to support those who are crooked rather than those who have values. Machiavellic.

Of course, again, I take responsibility for having bought the fraud but, when I signed up for it, this is not what they showed me. They sold me a beautiful package of seva, spirituality, altruism. I did not know about the frauds of the seva projects, I did not imagine all the Sri Sri enterprises he’d eventually create, the houses Ajay would buy, the jewelry Bhanu would carry, and the extravagantly luxurious life he’d lead. He told me I had nothing to worry about, that he’d take care of all of my needs. After the first year of romance, he did not take care of anything nor care. (You know the poem “I promise”? Well, you can imagine what I think of it today. Beautiful BS).

There was a full time teacher who was absolutely dynamic, incredible, she started many centers in Europe. She was amazing but she got pregnant. I still today cannot believe he turned his back on her that very moment. She got a low stipend all those years, of course she had no savings, no medical insurance, no home, and a baby to take care of. She was immediately on her own the minute she was of no use to him any longer. And as quickly as she got pregnant, she was forgotten in the movement.

The lack of financial support and accountability created a lot of stress in the full-time teachers community. Even though HE taught us to have faith in him, reminded us he’d take care of us, that we’d never be without a place to stay, food to eat, we all worried, regardless of the age, number of years with RS, number of years serving the organization. The longer we were in the movement, the more we knew the organization did not take care of anything. We had all had our own experiences, yet we all had hidden hopes something would change, and sometimes, we believed it was about “cleaning karma”. Many teachers ended up finding ways to ensure their future in corrupt manners. I knew of a senior teacher who manipulated their students to donate a lot of money at the end of the TTC for his personal account. Even when I was a devotee, I thought that was dirty, yet Ravi was proud of his astute teacher, he actually got more and more promoted. Using the status of a senior teacher, someone even went as far as getting a wealthy devotee to put a down payment on a house for him (they learned from the best, what can I say). Most senior full timers I knew were constantly complaining about all the exploitation that went on. You’d be surprised to know most star teachers have been complaining non-stop about the exploitation and unethical practices of the AoL and wish to quit every other minute. They are all so unhappy but put on the happy AoL face when they meet students/clients. Most don’t have the courage to leave. “What will I do if I leave?” Somehow, one is trapped by this idea he inflicted in us that we’d never make it in the world. That, no matter how terrible it all was in the organization, it was better than in the world.

I remember a star teacher who whined all the time. He was so stressed out about his lack of money and home, he finally told Ravi he wanted a job. Ravi told him he’d never make it in the world. The poor guy actually was quite incompetent in the world before joining the AoL, but, upon the divine warnings, he was so neurotic he actually only got a job with an AoL devotee, who finally, withdrew his offer. The man went back crawling to the AoL, like Ravi had “predicted”, and after a few years, has been promoted endlessly within the system. Was that a prediction or manipulation? He himself told me I would not make it in the world, that I’d burn out, and, in two years, beg him to let me go back. The fear his warnings/curses created in me paralyzed me for a long time. Today, I know it is part of his sociopathic manipulations many buy. If he cannot have you, then noone else can – is part of his “work ethics.”

I know RS started changing many policies in recent years, making it more proper for full timers mainly in fear of legal suits, as it obviously started being a problem in some countries. But, as long as he still has them under stipends, no medical insurance, no home, no formal, official contracts, and not giving real accountability and reports of where the money really goes, it is a big fat lie and exploitation a-la-"made in SriSrilandia."

There was quite a drama when the US board, or rather, the president, tried to fire some full timers because he decided they did not do enough (or rather, because he never liked them to begin with). How on earth do you fire people who work as volunteers and who gave their lives for your cause, working practically for free for you for so long? How ethical, spiritual and caring is that?

They have now created rules such as one needs to bring at least 30 people per month in order to remain a full-time teacher. The funniest thing is people actually fight to become full timers and the organization actually believes it can fire people who work under illegal terms. I don’t know what people have in their heads, but many think being a full-timer is some enlightened accomplishment. Wrong. There is nothing special about full-timers, other than they are 100% absolutely exploited and brain damaged. Full-timers are usually just people who are “available” or easily manipulated or that can provide something he needs at that time (former full-timer talking about full-timers). In the old days, at least many full-timers were people who believed in “a cause” and/or had some sincere quest for spirituality, or wanted enlightenment (like most former TMers). However, in most recent years, being a full-timer is an excuse for many to flee from the responsibilities of life, especially many young people who have no idea what to do otherwise. Sadly, if you observe, most full timers (not all, but most) are people who would not make it in the world but who in the AoL are considered stars.

There is exploitation even in the creation of materials such as CDs. I know of at least two singers and composers whose bhajans are the most popular in the AoL and who left the organization due to the unethical financial practices. Of course, RS considers he owns all their compositions because, according to him, he is the inspiration behind everything and he gave them the talent. Thus, if they made CDs he wanted them to donate all the earnings to the organization (of course, to support the seva projects). Hello? These musicians also need to make a living! They deserve being compensated for their talents and work! Who is whose inspiration? Conclusion: he now has all his Indian boys recording these songs, as theirs. If someone did that to Sri Sri, he’d get them for copyright issues. But, as usual, he never does anything wrong. He is perfect. Everyone else is the problem.

If anyone went to Sri Sri to ask for more money, or medical insurance, or that one needed a home, his answer often was, in a victimized tone, “There is no money. You have no idea how expensive it is to keep the ashrams and the seva projects. We never have enough money.” You went in with a righteous request, but you’d leave feeling like crap, believing his lie about not having money.

There are still so many teachers out there, especially the non full-timers and the new and young ones who still believe in all that “ra-ra” stuff he presents. Everyone has his/her turn to experience the bitter taste of AoL truth, it is just a matter of time and how one processes it eventually. Some decide to go with it by blending in more with psychological dissonance, some struggle hard to leave and face the reality of perhaps not being able to reinsert themselves in the world and job market, and that once one leaves, the grace of the guru is no longer existent.

Again, it is all sugar coated glamour. The truth behind it all is not that sweet. Maybe Maharishi was right when he described his pundit boy as “sugar coated poison.” Ravi’s machiavellic thinking and actions, combined with his lack of remorse, arrogance and charisma/charm make him a true sociopath.

Today, I look at all the Sri Sri enterprises he has (real estate, software, body products, books and tapes, etc), the properties Ajay owns in the US, his cars, his gadgets, his education, the jewelry Bhanu carries, their first class travels and stays in 8 star hotels, the pictures of the LA center, etc. and I think, “Man, either you are a lousy money manager or you simply are a gold-medal bastard.”

A Sri Sri Sweatshop is a working environment with unhealthy conditions that are considered by many people of good mental health to be difficult or dangerous, usually where the workers have few opportunities to address their situation. This can include exposure to harmful relations, hazardous situations, extreme psychological pressure, or abuse from employers. Sri Sri Sweatshop workers often work long hours for little pay, regardless of any laws mandating overtime pay or a minimum wage.

For those who are against human exploitation, avoid buying products made in Srisrilandia.

Thank you note

2010-01-31T00:25:00.004-05:00

BY KLIM
Evidently, the last article: “The 3 letter unspoken word: sex” stirred some wild emotions, as it did to me every time I heard someone go through yet another similar situation. It took me almost 10 years to come to terms with it (I know people who left because of it), as it took me even more years to come to terms with many of the deceits and fraud I today recognize about the AoL and SSRS, which were obvious to friends and family. I don’t blame the AoLers who write in full blast aggression, possessed by anger and sometimes even too off centered to express themselves coherently. I don’t know what it does to you, but it does a lot of service to me by confirming the right decision I made of leaving the organization and RS. It helps me further confirm that the teachings of RS only create a hyper hysteria, fanaticism focused only in building his name, organization, numbers, fame and popularity, and it takes the individual nowhere in the spiritual growth, but only builds ego/narcissism, delusion, fanaticism. Practicing a breathing technique that actually induces hyperventilation and which he did not create himself as he claims, or a meditation that is an imitation of someone else’s that went wrong and whom he criticizes constantly, or delivering repetitive topics that are cleverly entitled, “Ashtavakra, Bhakti Sutras, Patanjalis”, naming the Yoga Vasistha, repeating like parrots: “opposite values are complimentary, accept people as they are, don’t see intentions behind people’s mistakes, don’t be a football of other’s opinions, the present moment is inevitable” are not an indication of spirituality nor evolution nor “goodness.” Spirituality is more than just reciting, reading scriptures, doing some technique. Spirituality is not about the activities one does, who one follows, what one eats.

Following is a comment the blog received, obviously posted under the wrong link. The person is comprehensively mad. But I understand because I, too, used to get out of myself whenever I heard “my guru” and “my organization” criticized. However, with the years, I also learned that I got mad when it was about things I actually was not sure about, that I myself, deep inside, doubted, or actually, because it simply hurt my true-believer-ego. Evidently, Mr. Ravishankar, the quality of your teachers and your teachings need to be improved because, sadly, your disciples cannot remain centered with that smile you insist they should have, not “living the knowledge”, like you’d diplomatically insist, “Come what may, keep your smile.” Don’t you say AoL offers the knowledge that makes one unshakeable? I am sure this kind of reaction does not make you happy either:

ronith has left a new comment on your post "Additional links":

u have no proof of all the bull u write show us some proof abouct all the bull u write even i can open a stupid blog like urs and write bull like u without any proof atleast i am not mindless like u and if u think u r so smart y cant u reveal ur identity show us some proof u publicity hogger

There was a time this kind of comment/people affected me. The aggression and psychosis within the organization greatly disturbed me even when I was a “true believer”. Today, even with all the bashing provoked by the sex subject, it only makes me laugh and feel at peace with my decision of leaving the AoL and further confirms what a sick community it is and what a poor education we got from “the holiness.”

Maybe AoLers reading this kind of comment rejoice and cheer it like men watching a football game – notorious behavior of highly spiritual people following a highly enlightened master.

Maybe some AoLers reading this kind of comment feel quietly embarrassed that one of their fellow peers can express himself in such way and is indeed a bad representation of the movement, teachings, guru.

Maybe those who are not AoLers but have done a course, relate to it and applaud it, and maybe some take it as an indication of what AoL really is not about and see the holes of the organization and teachings before further going into it and getting sucked by “the black hole”, like it happened to me and many others.

Maybe some former AoLers reading this kind of comment, feel the same effect it has for me, reassuring the decision of leaving and the relief of no longer belonging to that madness. Maybe some prefer that I don’t write about any of this. I know some prefer to leave it for “fate and karma to take care” and some are afraid of the bad things Ravishankar can do to people because they themselves have experienced them (myself included) - reasons why so many old timers and former teachers have not come forward a lot earlier.

Whatever it is, whoever it is, thank you. Thank you to you all who, nicely and violently, help me in my journey of recovery. Thank to the comments of aggressive AoLers - if I had any doubts left about SSRS, there no longer are any. If I had any fears left of him/them/you, because of the retaliation, threats, harassments, lies I experienced during and post AoL, I no longer have any. Little did I know how healing this blog and all the nasty comments would be for me (hopefully for others too). Thank you again to former members and to current members, even those who curse, insult, threat, etc. KLIM & co. You have made me stronger. You have set me free.

Will wrapping up with an “I belong to you” make anyone puke? Better not, no?

A sincere heart-felt thank you.

The 3 letter unspoken word: S E X

2010-01-27T21:40:00.007-05:00

How many times have we heard Ravishankar say, “Even mosquitoes do it! Dinosaurs did it! You have been doing it so many life times! How much can you rub your nose against each other?” On the one hand, he made sure he let everyone know sex is part of the history of humankind, but on the other, he encouraged celibacy to many of his teachers, and in the course for young adults there is a chapter on sex: do pranayamas, take cold showers when you have sexual thoughts/urges.

In other words, it is normal, but take a cold shower when you feel the urge, because it is not good. It is inevitable everyone ends up interpreting these messages in different ways, and unfortunately, most people take it as sex is bad.

I know of a teacher who did not have sex during the days he taught the course because he was sure his energy would be affected. I knew of another who every time an assistant arrived to the course after having spent the previous night with a partner, would flip out and accuse him/her of showing up with “bad energy”. I knew of someone else who felt so guilty about sex he’d actually do it only in the bathroom and then meditate a lot to wash out his impurities. I knew teachers who got married but could not consummate because they felt inappropriate. I knew people who would turn RS’s picture around “to do it”. I knew of teachers who simply craved so much for sex yet Ravishankar dissuaded them from having it by imposing fearful thoughts in them like, “You were not cut out for sex, you are too weak for it, your health will be affected. If you have sex, you will get sick. If you have sex, you will get distracted. If you have sex you will not get enlightened.” Of course, these individuals would hold as much as they could, and then go crazy, and then feel guilty about it. I’ve heard him tell young boys, “Just focus in me, you are not meant for relationships this lifetime. Why do you need someone else when you have me? Keep you eyes only on me.” Even his swamis and rishis have issues with sex. We know of at least a rishi who still today cheats on his wife, right in her face!

Has AoL not learned from the Catholic church?! All the interpretations, the lack of direct addressing the issue, the lack of transparency, the concepts created a weird world of horny but repressed individuals that express it, eventually, in the form of aggression or dissociation, lies, taking many cold showers, doing excessive meditations, and promiscuity.

Many teachers, especially senior teachers take advantage of their status. Women fall for them like bees for honey, not knowing they are just being used for sex. Female teachers pretending to be virgins or untouchables. I knew of one who everywhere she went made a point to inform she was virgin, and then someone who was hosting her found out she was bringing men to the house while they went to work, by finding used condoms in her room and the reports of the maid. The one million dollar question everyone asked for a long time in the West was, “Did Philip and Rajshree have sex?” They pretended to be “just friends” but wherever they went, they slept in the same room. Yet, he projected to be a monk and she the most of all virgin people. (Does the word “histrionic” come to mind?). It was such a mystery people actually got mad and confused when Philip married (someone else, since Ravishankar never approved his relationship with Rajshree).

Unfortunately, there are even stories of male teachers raping female students or teachers, and other forms of perversion. The inner circle knew about this. We simply did not talk about it. It was shameful, both for the victim and for us who represented an organization, knowing the situation and not doing anything about it. When reported to Ravishankar, he simply ignored them and turned the victims into the problem. Of course, he had to keep his senior boys content and relieved, and again, who would listen to a woman with rape stories inside the AoL, especially when the “stars” were the aggressors - advanced course teachers, meditation teachers, TTC teachers? Under the excuse, “Guruji knows everything”, if he did not do anything about it, it meant the women were being drama queens and needy of attention.

Ravishankar often explained he could not have women in his room until late hours because people would misinterpret. “The two major reasons for scandal”, he said, “are sex and money.” It was his way to comfort the women who also wanted “to play”, like the boys, until late hours at night. Maybe he thinks the world is gullible but actually people are more suspicious of him hanging out until late with “the boys.” Especially hand picked boys, entering and exiting in different batches. Some spend the night with him, but leave the room early in the morning before anyone finds out.

The very few who I know dared speak out were quickly “taken care of” by spreading rumors of “psychological instability” and suddenly, would disappear from the organization. I was very sad to hear from one of them later defend him when I challenged him about the stories he once spoke about in detail. This young man had clearly been sexually abused and was going through a delicate sexual confusion himself. He felt so ashamed, he could not follow the conversation, and finally, explained he did not feel he was a victim, Guruji loves him, he did it for his growth. And once in a while, pop the question, “You mean, on top or under the underwear?”

What does it matter if it is on top or under the underwear, for heaven’s sake! Many teachers who have left and with whom I have spoken about this later, also ask the same question: “You mean on top or under the underwear?” Somehow, we all knew about at least one story, and thus, the same question, but we always found ways to protect the secret and keep it safely guarded. As we start to share more details, after passing the “underwear” question, the reaction is usually, “Oh God.” At that time, it was about surviving in dissonance. It is painful to admit it about one’s beloved Guru. Even today, as I write, I feel akward about it.

I have, however, trouble accepting people, who know men who have been raped by the guru, excuse it with arguments such as, “Oh, they are adults. Oh, it was for their growth. Oh, but Guruji loved them. Oh, but they got his grace.” Can sexual assault be justified in any form? Or, that noone has denounced him or made it public, not even anonymously! I know he threatens, I understand the shame, the guilt, the conflict, the pain. But, for heaven’s sake, it’s been going on for decades and it is not just 1, 2, 3 cases, and it keeps going on. It is going on with some young lad as we speak.

I once approached a teacher who hang out a lot in his room about the stories of a boy who came out with accusations. I gave him details, trying to understand if the boy was losing it or if his accusations were real. The teacher’s reply was more shocking. He laughed and lightly said it happened all the time to a group of them: Guruji touches them to release the kundalini and relieve their sexual tension, so that they can focus in their seva and not think about women.

Is it just me or are you frowning too?

But notice, not everyone has the privilege to release his/her kundalini! Only a few selected group of young men (young pretty men) and, I guess women have no chances of releasing anything this lifetime!

In intimate settings, sometimes, teachers, we’d ask each other if we believed these stories, if Guruji is celibate or not. We’d never dare confirm an answer, but everyone always agreed, “If he is sexually active, he definitely likes boys.”

Allowing the rapes of his female devotees is just as wrong as him sexually abusing his male devotees. There is no kundalini or enlightenment that justifies any of these two acts. Whether on top or under the underwear, I guess, even within a “spiritual” community, keep your pants on, their hands off, and do not talk to strangers. Just like your mother once taught you.

(When leaving comments, please be considerate and respectful. Keep in mind someone who has suffered a form of sexual abuse in the AoL may be reading the blog. I have spoken to several of these victims and they still suffer of the trauma of the abuses).

Healings or Hoax?

2010-01-25T23:38:00.002-05:00

By ART OF LEAVING
One of the main methods used by Ravishankar and AoL to bolster up the faith of his devotees and lure unsuspecting newcomers to the fold, is by constant testimonies about blessings and miraculous healings.

During the 2006 Navaratri celebrations Ravishankar gave darshan to international devotees at the Bangalore ashram. While circulating among the country groups to hear what projects each country was planning (note: as usual his primary interest was in projects rather than in people’s spiritual/personal concerns), he requested an Indian devotee to share his experiences with the Blessings course.

The devotee said Guruji had sent him to do blessings in certain Indian provinces where large numbers of farmers were committing suicide due to increasing debts. He claimed to have blessed approximately twenty-eight thousand people within a few days and rambled off statistics about how many blind and deaf people gained sight and hearing, how many got cured from depression, etc. He even claimed that people saw him as Guruji during the blessings and demanded to know why he had not previously warned them it was Guruji himself who would impart the blessings.

He was not a self-confident speaker and people were more interested in where Ravishankar was in the darshan queue than in listening to his testimonies. So every now and again he would lose heart and fall silent, with Ravishankar calling out: “Continue, continue.” I felt a bit sorry for this guy, thinking he was being taught a lesson on self-assertion.

At the time I was sceptical about the long-lasting effect or authenticity of all the reported healings. I wondered if the deaf persons who acquired hearing were able to speak/understand their mother tongue afterwards. I knew that deaf people whose hearing is restored by means of cochlear implants often have a long and difficult journey to distinguish sounds and learn to speak. I wondered if these blessings instantly conferred the gift of speaking as well. Similarly with blind persons who gained sight. It’s not just about gaining sight but also learning to distinguish shapes and know what you are seeing. As for people with depression, how can one claim an immediate cure? It is easy to bless someone and make them feel better for the moment, but what about next week, next month, next year?

Incidentally, someone who has worked for eighteen years with deaf children, some of whose parents occasionally take them to Christian faith healing services, has told me that she has not seen a single case where they have not returned disappointed. Some children who had some degree of hearing beforehand said afterwards that they heard better, but when tested no improvement was detected.

Similar to many Christian faith healing groups, AoL is quick to exploit people’s testimonies of healings to promote kriya, their courses, the organization and the guru. AoL cameras are always ready to register testimonies. But if the same person comes back next week and says the old condition has returned, would s/he make it again to a camera? Would anyone get to hear of it? Not a chance.

Healing should come with responsibility. If miraculous mass healings are claimed, they should be accompanied by scientific investigation and report of the cases (before and after, as well as long-term follow-up). And if scientifically validated, well, let’s have them bless and heal all sick people without exception!

As for myself, I have not been blessed or healed – neither physically, nor emotionally, nor spiritually. From an already fragile emotional state I was steadily pushed to the verge of a complete breakdown. Who was there to bless me then? If Ravishankar can bless and heal some, I can also testify from my own experience that he is capable of doing very deep damage.

With all the evidence of deception and manipulation mounting against Ravishankar and AoL, I now wonder if the reason for that devotee’s poor public speaking skills weren’t perhaps because he was instructed to fabricate lies about healings that never took place, rather than due to a natural shyness on his part.

Additional links

2010-01-25T23:35:00.003-05:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS
Its amazing how much aol propaganda one has to sort through before finding precious kernels of truth and opinions that shed a negative light on ravi shankar and the organization. I came across these interesting sites after spending some time with good-old google:

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=144860

http://www.deeshaa.org/is-sri-sri-ravi-shankar-a-con-man/

http://www.dranshu.com/2009/04/02/sri-sri-ravi-shankar-a-politician-indeed-no-saint/

http://www.indianexpress.com/news/election-commission-warns-art-of-living-against-giving-political-colour-to-mantranaad/450690/

http://election.rediff.com/report/2009/apr/15/loksabhapoll-rajkot-bjp-uses-art-of-living-for-poll-propaganda.htm

The first two links are personal assessments on an aol event and ravi shankar, and the last three are reports on aol's involvement in political matters last spring.

Enjoy!

Quick glance of the LA center

2010-01-23T08:39:00.007-05:00

The Art of Living Foundation recently purchased a beautiful classical style church located in the historic West Adams District of South LA, just two blocks from USC. While the Foundation is an educational and humanitarian NGO rather than a religious organization, its plans for the building are remarkably close to its original intention: creating a landmark for prayer, peace, service, and community upliftment. Location: 948 W Adams Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90007

This is where your money goes, in case anyone still thinks it goes to

"25,300 villages in India, benefiting more than 2.3 million people. The statistics are mind-boggling. Over 75,000 Nav Chetna Shibirs, more than 28,350 cleanliness campaigns, more than 1.3 m trees planted, 12,857 medical camps benefiting 4.3 lakh people, 1,474 homes helped built and 50 model villages developed. In addition 25,710 village youth have been trained in the Youth Leadership Training Program and 2,000 self-help groups with a membership of 35,000 villagers have been founded."

SSRS makes up numbers (if there were only 300, he says there were 1000, if there were 3000, he says there were 30,000. We have all made fun of him that way. Press releases are made by his media center, numbers are not sustained by any proof, but just his press releases, and the little that is done, is done for free and by asking for more donations for that specific project, that is later not carried out). There are scandals surrounding Pitaji too that the organization has carefully guarded, yes, involving sex and money. But at last, here is a real project that clearly allows us to see where all the money went and will be going the next few years.

Who wants to guess the property value of this mansion in the very expensive Los Angeles area?

I forgot to bless the Twin Towers

2010-01-21T22:10:00.004-05:00

By ART OF LEAVING
In 2006 I heard SSRS tell that some time prior to the 9/11 attacks a woman asked him to bless all of New York city. According to him, she actually took him on a helicopter ride to bless the city. Amused, he added, “I just forgot to bless the Twin Towers. I literally forgot!”

I tried hard to get my head around that one. Didn’t the attack of the Twin Towers affect and traumatise all of NYC? (the entire world, in fact?). He actually meant to say his oversight of one spot effectively cancelled out the entire blessing! How was then the rest of the blessing of any use at all? Perhaps the blessing even messed up the energy balance and turned into a curse? In one way or the other, he insinuated world peace is in his hands!

I wonder now if he would have spoken in such a light-hearted manner if the city in question was 26/11 Mumbai.

He once told us that everyone can bless. Once we have done a Part II course, one could do the Blessings Course and be able to bless others. The course claims one will “become a perfect instrument for the Master's Grace to flow.” Um.. with the Master making such gigantic blunders in blessings, why would one want to become a perfect instrument at all?

Haiti - not for commercial use

2010-01-16T09:13:00.014-05:00

BY KLIM
If you haven’t done so yet please pay attention to Haiti. It is difficult not to be shaken by the news, the pictures, the footages. It is a tragedy. I keep asking myself what can I do from so far, and inevitably I remember my times with AoL and feel ashamed of having supported initiatives that thrived from the tragedies of others.

A common question people asked SSRS was, “Why are there natural catastrophes?” A typical answer was, “So that people work on their compassion and do seva.” Very poetic, perhaps truthful, but definitely, very witty – the perfect way to keep his people working for him for free, not question anything he does (or not do) and feel proud of themselves.

We heard countless stories about the Gujarat earthquake, how AoL people helped day and night and the myriad miracle stories (my favorite being the one of a boy who fell off a high building and nothing happened to him because “Guruji caught him”). Of course, we heard the stories of the Tsunami and the unfounded claim “we were the first NGO to enter the region and do seva”, accounted by a few pictures (always the same 3, 4 pictures) of SSRS passing some bags of food and clothes, and standing in front of people in despair. In fact, the Blessings course is an aftermath of that tragedy: Swamiji was sent to the region, and as per his own narration, the guru asked him to bless. Upon asking innocently “how”, the guru yelled at him, “Just do it! Have faith.” And thus, when the swami innocently touched people’s heads, he’d learn the deaf gained hearing, the depressed started eating, the devastated smiling, the childless mothers found meaning to their lives again. The blessings/healing stories gained more importance than the actual needs of the tsunami affected population.

Taking advantage of the situation, the organization went out fishing for donations. A former teacher told me the story of a Brazilian bank that raised funds within their employee community and decided to donate close to USD 400,000 for the construction of an orphanage AoL claimed to plan to build for the Tsunami orphans in Sri Lanka. This project, like many others, did not follow up with accountability, paper work, proof. Instead of the promise of building the grounds in a few months, it did not conclude until way past the year. The bank authorities were furious. Of course, they had been fooled and their reputation was at stake. As a respectable, professional organization, they needed to show accountability. The AoL quickly fabricated pictures, trying to trick the bank authorities with photos only of few terminated corners of some rooms, or from angles that would not show the real unfinished situation, and of course, with big Brazilian flags wherever possible. To make things worse, once the building was finally terminated, they had no authorization from the government to run the orphanage, and there were no orphans to host (note: you don’t just grab kids from the streets and put them in a place ... for pictures …). I can’t help but imagine how much could have been done in Sri Lanka, even the slums of Brazil, with that lump sum of money back then! I keep thinking constructing the building did not require even 1/10 of that money. I wonder what has become the real use of that place and where that money really went.

I was at an AoL event during the Tsunami tragedy and, in two weeks, we collected close to USD 300,000 for “the cause.” He even sent us out to the streets to beg, TTC participants wrote big checks, events were organized to raise funds for the Tsunami victims, yet, they ended up being intro talks to register the people (who went to find ways to help “the cause”) to the next courses.

This was the work of only one group. I wonder how much money AoL sucked out of the Tsunami tragedy and how much really went to it or, rather, where did all of it really go.

The Dresden flood kept some Europeans busy for a few days, proved, of course, by a few pictures of a few people pulling buckets. Of course, there was the famous Katrina tragedy that claimed to have mobilized the entire US AoL chapter. Somehow, the AoL constantly makes big claims, but whenever articles are published it is because some devotee used some connections in the media. My point being: how come AoL always has to let the media know about their amazing work and it is not the media who finds their super big work? If their achievements are indeed that important, wouldn’t people notice them themselves?

Let’s be realistic and crude: what is the bottom-line claim of all the campaigns? Sudarshan Kriya will save everyone, his holiness is the new millennium Messiah, AoL is the only organization that is really making a difference in the area. Yet note that all projects life span last as long as some pictures and footages are taken, enough money collected, and you don't hear about them anymore, except in the form of heroic and miraculous stories (always the same ones).

Furthermore, it is interesting to notice he only helps incidents that are politically more productive for media and award purposes. When I read about some natural disaster, I check with former members of the area, local and international press, esatsang (!) to see if AoL is present in the rescue, vigorously implementing their claims of seva, sending their “seva warriors”, saving the world, “we care we share”, investing the money collected from courses in real causes. … Why does it still disappoint me though? Well, let’s give them a break. At least they keep recruiting people for courses! Sudarshan Kriya and devotion to SSRS will, after all, save and change the world! (Yes, that was sarcasm). There are people who believe the awards the IAHV claims were given by obvious merits rather than lobbying of their devotees.

A few years ago, a wealthy AoL member proudly informed of a “planting trees” project in Haiti. Not very knowledgeable about the area, I was embarrassed to ask why plant trees and not engage in more immediately necessary projects instead? Like, medical care, hunger, education, hygiene, etc.? Maybe deforestation was a big issue I was not aware of, but it obviously kept this man feeling important, donating and convinced AoL does real seva. I doubt so many trees were really planted in half of that island and I know as a fact there are not that many activities.

Oxfam, Red Cross, Doctors without borders, the UN, etc., a list of organizations are currently out there helping Haiti. Their efforts are visible, their goals are clear. It embarrasses me to remember how he convinced us those organizations are useless because they are all words but little action: “They use 80% of the donations in overhead expenses, did you know? Hah? We use less than 10% in overhead expenses the rest all goes to seva projects. Don’t give your money to them.”

Seva projects? Or Ajay’s homes, cars and triple US education? Bhanu’s saris, jewelries, purses and first class trips to visit her son? His own latest gadgets, expensive dotis, shawls, 5 star hotels and first class plane tickets? Or his real estate investments? Or the Texas ashram, the luxurious DC center, the recently acquired obnoxiously luxurious Los Angeles Center? (for those who have not seen the pictures yet, make sure you do. A historic building, several million dollars, former Christian Science church. I almost gagged when I saw the photos).

What will AoL invent and claim now about Haiti? That he is blessing the Caribbean? That the tragedy happened because AoL was not too active in the country, thus “everyone, quick, quick, start teaching in your areas before it is too late!” I will get revolted yet I am already getting ready to hear about a world meditation or a world maha Kriya to help the victims of the tragedy, and claims of seva projects and miracles in the area. Sadly, the AoL community will be excitedly convinced they are contributing (like the time they prevented a war between India and Pakistan with a maha Kriya), organizing special satsangs, donating money to AoL. “Everything is an opportunity. One just needs to be clever”, as taught by TTC teachers.

Taking advantage of the tragedy of others is simply distasteful.

Mr. Ravishankar, if you want to help, you need to roll your sleeves and get your hands dirty, but not your way-that-way-dirty, the real way. And not just for a few pictures. Know the Dalai Lama said to a reporter when a typhoon destroyed Taiwan: “I am not here to take pictures.” (You did not go. Your local chapter did not do anything relevant, if any at all. Supporting Taiwan would be a dangerous political move). If you choose to donate to an active organization truly currently working in Haiti, I am sure you can find ways to cut taxes. Remember your own teachings: a good businessman is the one who knows to donate. The more you give, the more you receive.

For those who want to help, here is a link from the NY Times: "HAITI DISASTER RELIEF: HOW TO CONTRIBUTE"

http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/01/13/haiti-disaster-relief-how-to-contribute

(Also read in this blog, "Another disaster, another marketing opportunity")

Another disaster, another marketing opportunity

2010-01-15T14:29:00.003-05:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS
I was wondering when aol was going to start capitalizing on the Haiti tragedy. And behold, I got a short e-mail today shamelessly sent by the “Artofliving Marketing Team” soliciting donations for “immediate supplies and food”, “trauma relief programs”, and “long-term rehabilitation” for Haiti. You’d think that something like this might fall under a “disaster relief team” category or something along those lines.

Anyway, another e-mail, much more detailed and well constructed, came a few minutes later from the same marketing department. They are seeking experienced graphic designers, photographers, and videographers to create posters and other marketing media for the foundation. The process of selecting who would be enlisted for such an honor was outlined in great detail.

You’d think that a disaster relief effort (a much larger undertaking) might warrant at least a similar attention to detail if it is genuine, and those supporting it monetarily are to be assured of its success. I for one have sent my donation to the Red Cross.

“Enlightsitive” = enlightened + sensitive

2010-01-13T12:08:00.017-05:00

It was common to find that the more someone was involved in the organization and the more senior the teacher was, the more “sensitive” he/she was about many things, e.g. food, environment, people, music, activities, the paranormal, etc. Somehow, with time, we developed sensitivities that were attributed to "evolution." Being more sensitive was regarded as having reached a higher state, being more spiritual. Being less sensitive was hmm ... the contrary.

Many were allergic and/or phobic to many things. It was often a pain to hang out with teachers, especially Part 2 teachers, swamis, Sahaj teachers, senior teachers. I dreaded feeding them, hosting them. They were all big time prima donnas in the name of enlightenment. I call them, “enlightsitives” = enlightened + sensitive.

Sugar, white flour, flour, grains, cereals, non-organic, coffee, soft-drinks, garlic, onion, mushrooms, frozen, not frozen, cooked, not cooked, etc., etc., etc. Or else, smells: cleaning detergents, sprays, perfumes, shampoos, soaps, dry-cleaned clothes, etc. Or else music, “that is so not sattvic. My prana is going down. Put on some bhajans.” (After so many years of AoL I suddenly noticed one day I did not know what the world was listening to and I only knew the words to bhajans! Thank God they were not that difficult!). Or else, “there is such bad energy in this house, I cannot stay here” or “that person is so low, ignore him/her, it’ll consume your energy field.” Or else, the pita, vata, kapha! Or else, the overall belief that activities, such as, going to the movies is not sattvic. For heaven’s sake! Imagine young people not living their time! Feeling guilty about partying, dating, hanging out, making out, having desires. Isn’t it all part of growing up, being human, learning, discovering life and oneself? Did our parents, grandparents not do it after all? Were they that bad? That unevolved? Did the great inventors, philosophers, scientists, doctors, teachers not engage in such activities either? Were they that bad? SSRS watches movies, loves potato chips and likes that song “Besame, besame mucho” (as per a friend’s translation: “Kiss me, kiss me a lot, kiss me as if this was the last time …” Interestingly sattvic ☺ !)

I was speechless when I recently heard some people even self-induced vomit or naturally vomited after being exposed to what was considered “unpure” energy, e.g. hanging out with people who belong to “the world”, doing kriya with bad/low energy people, etc.!

I remember once 5 people were dumped in a room, amongst them a teacher. It was uncomfortably tight yet the teacher insisted everyone needed to move everything around (bed, wardrobes, bags, etc.) in an incoherent way for everyone but her only because she otherwise could not sleep -she needed to lie in the same direction of the underground water (or was it some energy wave?). She considered herself more evolved than the rest because of these needs. We thought she was self-centered, selfish and “looney”. She was just “enlightsitive.”

Eating meat was, of course, the ultimate anti-glow sin. I met some people who upon medical advise went back to eating meat. They did so with so much guilt and were constantly worried people would notice them less "bright" and sense their "bad" energy. In fact, they were sure Bhanu and SSRS discriminated them since their change of diet. At least, Bhanu kept making awful remarks to them about it. But let me see, if one has to choose between glowing and health, glowing and health... Come on, does meat-free diet ensure "glow" and purity? Glowing in the name of evolution is definitely overrated. I know so many meat eating people who are so sensitive, spiritual and loving! And I know so many vegetarians who are vicious, awful people.

I am not sure yet if the collective hysteria was brought from TM and we ended up adopting it, or if the practices created such imbalanced sensitivities and/or eliminated our “energetic immune system”. I was an “enlightsitive” myself. However, today it makes no sense to me that evolution would bring such ineptness to cope with everyday life, situations and discriminate "unpure people" (as I write I am ashamed of the arrogance!). I am not invalidating the claims of anyone’s sensitivities (I have my own share) but I keep wondering if a truly evolved person would make a fuss about everything, or if, instead, enlightenment is that state in which one is sensitive yet finds oneself at ease and in acceptance with everyone and anything.

I know organic, non-toxic, non-plastic, non-etc. is better (behold, I myself believe and practice this), but somehow I cannot image someone enlightened rambling, “I cannot eat this, it is not organic, it'll kill me”, “I cannot sleep on this bed, the bed sheets are not organic cotton or pure silk”, “you sprayed too much perfume, the toxic residues will give me cancer”, “oh my pita vata!!!”, “your repressed anger makes me loose my centeredness”, “I cannot sleep unless my head points east.”

As stated earlier, many people, especially senior teachers, considered such claims heroic and a sign of evolution. Unfortunately, imitation is the most powerful form of education.

SSRS himself also discriminated against people in that manner. There was often a say in the hallway while waiting for him: better not hang out with “blue stars” or low energy people otherwise he will not let you in ("your energy will get contaminated and he will feel it"). It was sad to notice people avoiding each other, and unfortunately, ignoring some “not dignified” souls, and of course, there was always this hidden fear one was actually the one everyone stepped away from. It stirred up awful degrading feelings. Furthermore, how many times did he refuse to stay in a devotee’s more humble home because their energy was not high enough for him? (though of course, a 5 star hotel or a mansion were never a problem).

I admit I was once also an “enlightsitive.” In fact, I am still sensitive to many things. However, it is funny to notice that since I left the AoL and the more time goes by since I stopped doing the practices, I feel more equipped to deal with differences and they don’t bother me anymore. AoLers would explain it as I am now less evolved because I am now “in the world” and out of “his grace”. I believe my organism is gradually stronger and I everyday have less AoL softwares in my hard drive. Thus, whew! I am no longer “enlightsitive”!☺

Once upon a cult

2010-01-10T11:34:00.006-05:00

Recovering from spiritual abuse is an endless, intimate, lonely process few people comprehend. Sexual abuse and domestic violence are today recognized in most societies (unfortunately not all) as crimes, and victims of it qualify for proper justice and counseling. Society sympathizes with them and offers help in countless ways, although probably not enough yet. On the other hand, being a victim of spiritual or cult abuse is still not as acceptable and an unspoken subject accompanied by shame and misunderstandings. Out loud coming out as a victim of cult/spiritual abuse may place one in a vulnerable situation, even ridiculed or exposed to more bullying. One is blamed for having joined or questioned on the veracity of ones experiences. Of course, they are the big organization with the big names, the holy persona and thousands of followers. I am just a nobody who was “rejected or dejected” (as someone put earlier). Why believe me? I must be bluffing, resentful, seeking revenge. Otherwise, “something is obviously wrong with you, to begin with, for having joined a cult”, and “you are ‘stupid’ for not having left earlier”, “you are responsible.”

Maybe people can’t relate with spiritual abuse because it is more abstract, subtle and mainly because there is a general concept about spiritual masters: they are holy benevolent beings, and because there is a tendency to believe one is always in control of everything (“should be”). People don’t understand the extent and the depth of the manipulations and damages of spiritual abuse, specially under the leadership of one who claims “the way”, the lonely pain one carries silently for a long time and how difficult it is to cope with it everyday, how being a victim of a cult leader is not different from being a victim of Stockholm syndrome, rape or domestic violence. People sympathize with Jaycee Dugard but they question me. I was spiritually raped and abducted but I could/should have walked out. I could/should have as much a Jaycee Dugard could/should have.

Recovery did not start the minute I left the organization. Recovery started the day I was able to face the truth and admit to myself I had belonged to a cult, that I had participated in a big lie and brought many to it, that I had been abused and also been abusive, that SSRS was a cult leader and not a spiritual one. Unfortunately that happened long after I officially left. I fed my dissonance for a long time after instead. It is what I had perceived as truth for so many years and the contrary was too hurtful and challenging to unknot. I was betrayed by friends, students, my guru, but mainly, I betrayed myself for not listening to myself, not seeing the truth earlier and for allowing the abuses. Maybe I will understand many years later why it all happened, maybe one day I may even be grateful for it too. Maybe, maybe not.

I find the biggest challenge former members face is recognizing SSRS is not what we thought he was or that his love for us is not unconditional, as he claimed, that the Sudarshan Kriya is a hoax, that we were used to feed someone’s narcissistic ambitions. I’ve heard people who have been abused defend him in the most dissonant manners. They blame the board, some senior teacher, they even claim he did it out of love, etc. They somehow see SSRS as a victim himself when underneath it all, they are most likely protecting themselves. Let me just ask, “What kind of parent would abuse you in the name of love?” (In the world we identify them as pedophiles and sick). Who do you think is behind the board, the senior teachers, the situations? You really think things happen without his consent and knowledge?” SSRS is about the greatest control freak I know! I remember the time I told him I found an article bad for his name because it stated everything in the Art of Living revolved and depended on him. He mockingly asserted, “Of course that is how it should be! I am behind it all! Without me nothing exists! You still don’t know?!” (A little too narcissistic perhaps?) This is the naivite that goes on. I also defended him so many years when the truth was evident to those watching outside.

I realized about myself that the extent I needed to lie to myself about SSRS was the extent of my own immaturity. Psychologically, children move to the next level of maturity when they realize Santa does not exist. I believe the same happens with ex-devotees when we consider the possibility the guru is a fraud. Eventually, admitting he is, is the ultimate painful act, thus some choose to keep the Stockholm syndrome. As the saying goes, “ignorance is bliss.”

I stopped consuming sudarshan kriya, meditation, chanting, anything that reminds me of the routines I followed for so many years, that killed more than 100 of my brain cells, and repressed my rights of freedom of thought and critical thinking. Uninstalling all the guru softwares, allowing the real me to flourish again, being truthful is my current sadhana. The meaning of “sadhana”, now finally makes sense: spiritual practice done for higher aims.

I was once member of a cult. I say it with shame, humility, respect and responsibility. But above all, with pride I finally am truthful to myself.

Is spirituality not democratic after all?

2010-01-08T09:15:00.004-05:00

BY KLIM

Ah!!! I am actually getting tired of responding to AoLers writing to this blog, even those who fake they are not. What the heck! I left their organization to, years later, engage with them online? OK, a risk I took the minute I started this blog, but geez, they don’t even have such good reading comprehension skills because they are so emotional when reading they immediately jump to conclusions and/or are too anxious to make a point, ready to militate for Ravi any minute. Geez! With all due respect, reacting like men who were just told they have small tiny weenie penises! Excuse me. I did not say anything about anyone’s penis so please chill! And anyway, let’s respect each other’s size, shape and preferences! Is spirituality after all not democratic?! Do we all need to believe AoL is the biggest most amazing NGO in the world? (It is not! Check statistics. The AoL cannot even detail how many active teachers it has and how many teachers it has made! AoL cannot even give specific numbers of how many people did the course in each city, country and year! I was one of you when we tried to collect this data and we were not able to because we were lousy and disorganized as an institution, and because, unfortunately, that is the price for working with volunteers, some less prepared than others, and many, without any real professional experience). Do we all need to believe Ravi is the greatest man on earth, holy, the one and only, and the best? Do we all need to believe everything the AoL and SSRS claim as true? If thinking differently to you makes us stupid, then let us be! At least, stupid, free and happy. Let spirituality be democratic! The soul is, after all, FREE!

Neither AoL nor SSRS nor his devotees should feel threatened, shaken or offended by different opinions – I call them “different”, they call them “negative” … interesting. Good education is based on diversified information, not on unilateral, manipulated, censored information. One should decide if something is good based on all reviews: good and bad. Something is not necessarily good if it only has good reviews. On the contrary, it gives room to suspicion. In a world governed by minds like those of fanatic AoL followers and SSRS the system would be non-democratic, totalitarian, despot. If that makes you feel more comfortable, please practice it within your divine community but don't push it on others. I and many others, greatly appreciate democracy, freedom of speech, freedom for religious beliefs, transparency, wholesome education. For the love of these, I chose to leave.

I also don’t understand, when I was a devotee – truly devoted, by the way – I never ever thought of reading anything “negative” about “my guru” or “the best organization in the world”. First of all, I never thought anyone doubted we were the best. In fact, I was shocked to find out, years after I left, there were people and sources out there with “negative” observations and experiences! Second, I did not consider other opinions valid. My family, friends, etc. thought I had lost it. I was even told straight in my face I was in a cult yet I stood strong to my convictions. Needless to mention, I never thought of attacking someone who felt differently or tried to convince them they were wrong, belittle or dare them. I only kept bringing people to the course. Even then, I believed everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion. How are you then practicing the knowledge “don’t make the mistake of going against the mistake” (Ashtavakra Gita)? Cause I am out, you are in, shouldn't you be "in the knowledge"?

SSRS speaks about the joining of all religions, breaking differences, but actions such as these of his devotees writing to the blog (and to many other links that present different opinions) or himself assigning people to check on “negative press” only reflect the contrary, and are a sign of little or no true spirituality, hidden insecurities, cry babies, and overboard narcissism. Should those who think differently, those who may appear to think “against them” (I prefer, “not in favor of”, or “not similarly”) be attacked, questioned, “dared”, threatened … eliminated? (a common AoL in-house practice after all).

Fortunately, I had many many years of training under this kind of despotic rule and tyrant thinking, and, unfortunately, I am not unfamiliar with the AoL kind of hostility towards difference in opinion. For heaven’s sake, keep conquering the world but let people enjoy democratic spirituality!!!

Is spirituality not democratic after all?

Let every city declare my day

2010-01-07T11:34:00.003-05:00

BY ART OF LEAVING

I fell for the charm of SSRS in 2006, the year of AOL’s Silver Jubilee celebrations. The short Silver Jubilee film made by Chinese photographers was shown ad nauseam at satsangs. At each showing we were told the coloured lights in the sky represented devas or angelic beings that came en masse to grace this special occasion organised by Guruji.

There was a massive stage with politicians, celebrities and thousands of musicians. AoL claimed two and a half million humans from half the nations of the world filled the airfield below and hosted heavenly visitors the skies above. The presence of the latter had been expertly captured, they claimed, through today’s advanced technology and the skill of the photographers. Never mind that the lights did not look particularly special to the ordinary observer (they actually seemed more like reflections of stage lights on the camera lens). The point was if you had the ability to see auras, you would have known that the lights contained tiny figures in lotus posture and the like. It was suggested the huge bright light hovering over one part of the stage was His Holiness himself, much brighter and bigger than the ones in the skies - a great blessing bestowed on humanity.

I was new and the film made some impact on me yet I found it a little strange SSRS attached so much importance to the whole thing. With or without heavenly guests, it did not seem to me much more than a big show.

A few months later I found myself at darshan given by him to international devotees during the Navaratri celebrations in the Bangalore ashram. We were shown one or two certificates from Canadian cities that had named him honorary citizen and declared a SSRS day. SSRS then urged us to organise the declaration of an AoL day in our own cities when we returned home.

He impressed upon us that since it was the year of Silver Jubilee, a once in a life time happening, we must not miss the opportunity and three or four people together should seek local politicians, tell them about the AoL Silver Jubilee, show footages and give them a folder with copies of all the certificates already conferred. He then added, with a dismissive gesture: “Of course, we know these things really mean nothing but for the sake of those who think it is important...”

Perhaps to reassure devotees who might disagree with asking their cities to declare a day in his name, he added: “We made sure at Silver Jubilee I did not sit on a big chair. I sat in the same chair as everyone else so it wouldn't cause a problem.” He seemed amused at this fact. It was a kind of admission that he was deliberately presenting a more secular and humble face to the world but that the devotees were in on the secret of who he really was – divine enough to deserve a special big chair (as if that was a sign of divinity or importance!).

I felt uneasy by this running after name and fame, and the strategy used did not strike me as honest, humble or spiritual. Normally one would hope that honours and awards are conferred on a person because it is clear to the public eye or to respectable institutions that the work s/he has done is for the common good and of great benefit. One would hope that it is not due to a lot of lobbying by the followers of the person in question. I wondered how on earth one would convince one’s city to declare a day in honour of AoL on the basis of Silver Jubilee. I thought the event had great value in its own right but it would be difficult to make it seem relevant to cities in other parts of the world.

At the time I was not aware of the big push to get SSRS the Nobel Peace Prize and that the “SSRS day” drive was part of that strategy. KLIM’s post Gandhi also did not get the Nobel Peace Prize enlightened me about the extent of the strategising and lobbying that goes on in the AoL.

Exactly how successful or unsuccessful devotees were in their “SSRS day” attempts can be gauged from http://www.srisri.org/biography/awards-and-honours. Gullible cities are listed under “His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Day” and “International Honours”.

Interesting articles

2010-01-06T11:05:00.004-05:00

Worth checking out the two articles recently added under Helpful links as per the suggestion of readers.

The Art of Living Business
http://shajiwriter.blogspot.com/2009/07/art-of-living-business.html

and

Is Sri Sri a Fraud Fraud? What the heck do we know? We are just mortal human beings and he is "holiholiness"?
http://www.diwala.com/233/is-sri-sri-a-fraud-fraud-things-certainly-look-that-way/

Thanks for the suggestions!

Walk like a king and be a perfect doormat

2010-01-02T00:30:00.009-05:00

BY KLIM

I was young when I joined the organization. I was vulnerable, full of hopes, naïve, gullible, enthusiastic, influentiable, impressionable. I had that adolescent arrogance that made me believe we could change the world. My psyque was probably not even strongly developed yet. I believed in helping others, wished for a better world and loved knowledge. I was the perfect target.

My family was all along against me being part of the organization, and worse, giving my life to it. SSRS said to me once, “Have compassion for them, pray for them”, as if they were loosers who missed out the chance of being on the path. AoL adults would then remind me how lucky I was for serving a guru at such a young age (though curiously, they would not encourage their own children to follow my steps). Thus, I disregarded every warning my family gave me because they were "not in the knowledge". Instead, I listened to the guru and my fellow senior teachers/friends.

Even when I write this, I laugh at myself. I actually listened to “adults” who obviously have serious psychological problems and who, in different ways and reasons, stopped growing at some early point in life because of some dysfunctional story, or fled from “the world”, relying on spirituality as an ego booster. Time passing by is not an indication one grows. I have met 40 year olds going into 14 and 65 year olds going into 17. I once looked up to those people and thought that, as my seniors, in age and spiritual experience, they knew better. The fool leading the fool.

Few years after joining the organization, I lived enough unethical situations that affected me personally and made me want to leave. I struggled with the devotion and commitment I felt for him, and the respect and conviction I had for my values. Senior teachers would then corner me with the “should and should not” script.

Basically, it was all just a sign of low prana, lack of faith we all go through, to make us strong, get rid of our egos. “The path is only for the brave ones”, “the amount of doubt you have equals the amount of faith you have, so when you have doubts, realize how much faith you have”. If I was angry, I should not be angry, “anger is not good for you, observe the sensation, sit for hollow and empties, bow down, surrender to the Guru, chant.” If I thought SSRS did something wrong, “he is doing it for your growth, he is a satguru, he is showing you the way by creating that situation, he wants the best for you, he is taking you to the next step.” If I wanted to say anything about it, “you are being vindictive, observe your violence.”

One could never win nor validate oneself. The one abused was turned into the aggressor. Therefore, what was extended and deepened instead was the condition for abuse until one finally regarded it as normal, acceptable, spiritual. SSRS talked about surrender but he really wanted us to succumb.

I can almost hear my basic course teacher if she found out about this blog: “revenge is not good.” Revenge is so not part of my personality and not at all the goal of this blog. And if I was once angry, so what? It is part of the process of recovery and healing. I am real: bones and flesh real. She is also a victim of abuse and has made abuse into something spiritual. Realizing the contrary would be too much to handle. Actually, recognizing and admitting one belonged to a cult is a big load that comes with shame and appears to disqualify everything one did for so long.

If I had the chance to talk with her today, I’d tell her how much she helped me, and how much she deeply screwed me. Sadly, I see that everything she did was for herself. She actually hid in the spiritual path to feel superior, to hide her feelings of insecurity, failures and inadequacy. As long as she had someone to save, she was somebody. She had the best of all intentions but could not see she was blind. Someone who had removed herself from the world for so many decades and who has difficulties surviving without belonging to a "spiritual cult", was a senior teacher who trained and led young people. All her advises only prepared us for more abuse. She taught me that if I was slapped, I should be grateful. Though I see the beauty of that knowledge I am sure it does not mean, “Walk like a king and be a perfect doormat" (as in Ravishankar's "Walk like a king and be a perfect servant").

Loving oneself, learning to respect oneself, learning to stand up for oneself and be respected are crucial in growing up strong and healthy (You see, my basic course teacher and some swami would say that was my ego speaking).

I know my teacher meant well. Today I recon she is emotionally, psychologically and spiritually crippled. She influenced many young people like me. We all looked up to her. More than one felt guilty about something after being with her because she had so many concepts, shoulds and should nots.

Being in a spiritual path does not make one better than others nor does it mean one truly works on oneself. One thing I know about AoL is noone really works on him/herself. We thought we did. The spiritual arrogance one acquires is such that AoLers believe doing kriya and kissing the guru’s feet automatically puts one above everyone and everything else.

I am today allergic to any unsolicited advise, specially in a condescending way. Often people in spiritual paths have the bad habit of thinking they know better. They think they know what advise you need, what you are really feeling that you are not aware of, what you still have not done. The obnoxious “I know for your better good.” Needless to mention, often the advises go around the leitmotif “be forgiving, be compassionate, do not be angry, let go, move on, etc.” Whereas there is truth in it, one cannot deny the abuse and the array of feelings that come with it. Imagine what a rape victim would feel if you tell him/her right after the attack, “forgive, be compassionate, don’t be angry, it was your karma, you must have done something bad some other life time, let go.” Just imagine!

I do not need to do anything but feel what I feel and be myself. That is the only thing I must do. Being angry is just as part of life as anything else. It does not make me worse. It is what it is at that moment and time takes care of it. After all, aren’t opposite values complimentary? Suppressing negative emotions is the emptiest spiritual mood making I know that turns people into arrogant robots. Being in a spiritual path does not mean you don’t feel negative emotions anymore. A spiritual education should teach you negative emotions are part of life and how to handle them, not that you should not feel them, or that feeling them is not OK, or that by meditating you will never have them again.

I also once oscillated from being a victim of abuse to being an abusive arrogant robot in the name of spirituality. Sadly, in AoL we thought spirituality was enrolling people to the course, creating devotion in people for SSRS and faking a smile at all times – “fake it until you make it.” Meditating, breathing, having a guru, chanting mantras, doing yoga, being vegetarian, doing “seva” are not signs of spirituality. Spirituality is not about the activities you do but about how you act and where the action stems from. Spirituality is not about not feeling any negative emotions. Spirituality is not in the shoulds and should nots, it is about how real you are to yourself, in life and to the world.

I dropped the habit of telling anyone what and how they should feel and do, or thinking I know what the other feels and should do. More importantly, I also dropped the habit of telling myself what I should or should not. Where there is a “should”, I learned, I lose my authenticity and my freedom.

I no longer want to be a doormat.

How AoL Preys on the Youth

2010-01-01T12:27:00.001-05:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

I remember back when I first became a part of AoL—there was never such an emphasis on youth courses. Now, all of a sudden, youth courses are all the hype (particularly the YES plus). Their advertisements and posters inevitably have some young people (of mixed demographic) smiling and having all kinds of fun. They use catchy words and phrases like “confidence”, “enthusiasm”, and “meet new people” to lure young unsuspecting students to the course. There are now even YES plus courses for college credit. So AoL has figured out how to tap into the fountain of youth—a whole population of young, naive, impressionable individuals with plenty of energy (to market the course) and plenty of friends (to market to).

Just like part 1 teachers, AoL is churning out armies of YES plus teachers. In order to become a YES plus teacher, one has to not only be able to pull off the enlightenment act, but it has to be more like “enlightenment on speed”. To make the cut, YES plus teachers have to act young and dynamic and especially enthusiastic in order to attract the young folks. It must be utterly exhausting.

Once one becomes a YES plus teacher, next comes the Holy Grail of YES plus teaching—getting the course offered in a university for credit. And how on God’s Green Earth are they able to convince respectable institutions to give college credit for such a course? Well, they seem to have found the magic marketing formula (four easy steps), which have been circulating among the teachers:

Step 1: Give several YES plus courses on (preferably) or near the campus to undergraduates in the institution and collect their testimonials
Step 2: Identify a few “strong” students and “nurture” them by hanging out with them and organizing and attending social activities.
Step 3: “Inspire” those students to tell the administration and/or their connections within the university about the course and arrange for a meeting with a YES plus teacher.
Step 4: Contact the YES plus desk to get proper coaching and help with organizing a professional presentation for the administration.

Now if that’s not predation, then I don’t know what is.

Thankfully, it seems that only a small percentage of students stay for the follow-up sessions (much like any other AoL course). But among the few that have stayed, I have seen students feel pressured to do the “seva” of recruiting more students to courses that they themselves were at first “inspired” to organize, and then later get burned out. I have seen students do this “seva” at the expense of not getting their own schoolwork done. And I know of one student who dropped out of school entirely because of involvement with AoL. It is a sad waste of life for those kids that take to heart ssrs’s words: “If you do my work, I’ll do yours.” Shame on ssrs and his org for hijacking young impressionable minds and getting them to do his dirty work.

Its bad enough that I, as a teacher, wasted years of my life on AoL. But what’s worse is the painful fact that I have helped AoL and ssrs suck dry the lives of others. I know that sharing my experiences here can never undo the damage I may have caused, but if these experiences can be used to help just one person decide not to take a course, or just one AOLite to leave the org, then my job here is done.

http://www.rickross.com/reference/artofliving/artofliving6.html

On DSN, by an anonymous

2009-12-31T00:14:00.003-05:00

The following is a comment sent to the article "The Art of Acting and the Art of Marketing" by an anonymous. I found it important to post since for too many of us, many processes that happened in DSN and TTC still create noise in our heads. We knew but we could not question, we thought but we could not think differently, we felt but we could not feel ... Something was wrong with those courses, with those teachers ... with us! We were abused the entire day and were dancing at night in satsang with a big smile on our faces at night! We hated every minute of everything, but we went along because it was part of the course (not going along with it was a sign of weakness and big ego). We often thought the teacher did not make sense and was an insensitive arrogant, yet, we were all at his/her feet every day. A lot of abuse went on in these courses. Being in the "hot chair", etc. was all for your good, to get rid of your ego, when we were actually creating monsters in the name of spirituality. Anon, thank you for sharing.

I'd like to talk about my experiences at one of these DSN courses (as an attendee) this was probably 9-10 years ago and as a faithful AOL devout; this course opened my eyes into what a cult it had become. The teacher was charismatic and we all were awed by his presence. As he went on, he said a few things that made me realize that this is bordering on a cult. DSN's premise was you could take any criticisms in life after attending this course - this was based on making a person sit on a chair and have the rest of the course attendees hurl insults at you (granted they don't even know you but still).
I heard a story where a pregnant woman had a miscarriage because of domestic abuse by her husband (he kicked the newborn fetus) and she later took this course only to have someone from the class yell at her that she deserved it (the abuse, miscarriage).
My experiences weren't that horrific but they were enough to make me change tunes.
Some of the things that were done and said:
1. The teacher told an example of how one of his apprentices was being constantly pushed by his mother to get married and he responded by taking a bottle of rat poison and keeping it infront of his mother as an act of defiance - saying that if she asked him one more time to get married, he would make her drink it.
2. SSRS is God/Lord/Almighty and there is no one else.
3. The teacher lamented how the bangalore ashram at the time lacked a solar water heater and how it would be a good 'gift' to Guruji. Sure enough the next day, the class managed to get out their checkbooks and raised a princely sum of 300,00 rupees which at the time was a lot of money. I had this horrible feeling where i was sort of being pressurized to come up with a contribution and yet I came up with nothing - a very different kind of feeling to experience.
4. As part of the course, we were made to walk the streets and peddle AOL and get a lot of people to join up/ sign up so that you as an individual would fulfill your destiny. You were then mocked when you came up with nothing
5.they hurled abuses at a woman whose only sin was that her husband would not partake or support her in her AOL activities.
In the end, I lost total respect for the teacher whom I have known for a while. There's a thin line between preaching and forcing your views on someone and he crossed that line - making us believe that it is okay to forsake your own family for the greater good of AOL and that was something I could never stomach doing.
I wish I had the temerity I possess now and had done something back then. I guess that also comes with age 9-10 years is a longtime.
Good job with the blog. I have come to realize that one's own family means the most and wasting your time, money and energy on such a greedy cut-throat organization is bordering on being a cult follower/ retarded.

Klim and AOLeaving and all,

2009-12-30T09:15:00.001-05:00

This comment was posted under "Art of Acting and Art of Marketing"

One finds his own path. Every Guru says he will only show the way and not hold your finger throughout the journey.
It is one thing leaving a movement dejected (or rejected?), but just finding fault with it blogging negatively on it, collecting like-minded dejectees (to rhyme with devotees) is such a horrible waste of good time and energy. Leave SSRS and AOL, fine. But put your time in some useful work, some seva. What?
Seva is a better way of getting rid of frustration. Blogging is mere energy loss.
No point in commenting on my comment, as I will not visit again here. I had enough of reading Guru-bashing stuff.
Anyway, thanks for another perspective.
Jai Gurudev.

Qualities of a Guru

2009-12-29T11:06:00.001-05:00

I don’t know why I keep remembering an exercise that was done in TTC 1 and DSN: naming the qualities of the Guru. I remember the first time I heard this command. I suddenly wondered, “Really, what are the qualities of Guruji? Why is it I like him?” By the time 3, 4 people started timidly listing adjectives, the rest was just an act of imagination and poetic skill. By the end of the exercise, we were sitting in front of a flipchart with a list of adjectives that insinuated the existence of a Sri Sri Holy 108, the embodiment of God on earth. But, did we all really think that or was it fantasy, group enthusiasm induced?

Examples of qualities listed are compassion, funny, giving, loving, all encompassing, caring, wise, intelligent, responsible, hard working, etc. (interesting, even today I have a hard time working out this list).

Basically, the obvious lesson was we become what we love, we become what we hate, thus, better love than hate, and because we loved him the most, we would all become as amazing as he is. We were the best. The hidden lesson was worship HIM, there is nothing more perfect and more truly amazing than HIM. You are the chosen one, you have the blessing of being with the reincarnation of God on earth.

It’s funny. If I had to work on that list today, the first qualities I’d call out are disloyal, ungrateful, arrogant, unscrupulous, machiavellic, ambitious (in a negative way), power hungry, wealth hungry, fame hungry, narcissistic, lacks empathy, self-centered, selfish, vain, lacks compassion, incapable of loving, incapable of feeling, incapable of establishing deep bonds with anyone, distorted sense of grandiosity of himself, revengeful, abusive, manipulative, liar, sinister, stressed, explosive, deceitful, hypocritical, and I’d end it with a few “etc.”

It’s interesting but these are the qualities that prevail above all in the movement, especially amongst the teachers, even more so, the senior teachers. People with these qualities are the ones he supports, promotes and upgrades. Thus, indirectly, passively, showing these are the qualities and behaviors that get rewarded and awarded. Those who have a hard time living by these qualities find themselves in a more vulnerable situation, attacked, exposed, hammered ("it’s your ego"). Historically, humankind has always casted those who dare be different. It is not different in the Art of Living path (unless you have something to offer the organization that it still wants from you, eg. money, connections, status, etc).

One of the questions I pondered on for a long time was, “When I grow up, who do I want to be like?”

I searched deeply and vastly in my list of worldwide teachers and long-timers. I looked around … no, no, no, no …. NOOOOO … no, no no …. No …..!!! There was not one person I wanted to be like. Even worse, I did not want to ever be like any one of them! (If you know them off the course setting, even less!). And then came the big fish: not even when I was a devotee, I wanted to be like Sri Sri Ravishankar.

What are many people learning in that spiritual path? That being disloyal, ungrateful, machiavellic, betraying, etc. in the name of their devotion for Sri Sri or in the name of achieving whatever it is they want, adding the words “greater cause” to it, gets you away from anything and is the ultimate act of devotion, faith, spirituality.

What did I learn in my many years in that spiritual path? Everything I did not ever want to be like ever in life and everything I should never do if I want to live a life with integrity, values - success beyond success.

What would AoLers say about this article? That I am actually doing a “projection” and blaming on Sri Sri the things that actually are mine. It takes one to recognize the other, they say. There is one thing I am clear about: it is because I did not want to become those qualities, because I never agreed with them, that I finally left, that I finally lived the experiences that I did. Fortunately, the education I got from my parents, my grandparents, my elders, was a lot better than the one I got from Sri Sri. Fortunately, I have some discrimination left.

I stopped loving him and, fortunately, I never hated him nor do I hate him. I hope that saves me from ever being like him. Needless to mention, I work hard on myself so that I don’t repeat the mistake of regarding THAT as the ultimate HIM.

News Flash

2009-12-28T18:35:00.002-05:00

A few years ago SSRS assigned one of his full time German teachers the task of surfing the net for anything negative written about the AoL/ SSRS.

For someone so enlightened, worrying about negative reviews and having someone actually check for them and print them out for him is a little too much, isn’t it?

Oh, by the way, "Say Hi."

The Art of Acting and The Art of Marketing

2009-12-26T00:18:00.002-05:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

I can still remember my very first AoL teacher. I remember being in awe at how well he was able to deliver the “knowledge” and conduct the class while smiling throughout, how well he handled student’s questions (especially the skeptical ones), and how at ease he always appeared. I was impressed. And all the other students must have been too because by the last night of the course, they all gravitated toward him and didn’t want to leave. Since that time, I had gotten to know many other teachers, and have gone down the long and twisted road of becoming an AoL teacher myself. I came to that path because I had good intentions and grandiose ideas of changing the world. But in the end, I know I was chosen to become a teacher because of my ability to pull off a decent appearance, recite from my script (the teacher’s manual), and sell the course to my community. And every requirement to becoming a teacher, and every aspect of the teacher training are geared toward finely honing those skills.

I didn’t realize that the course was scripted until I attended a number of part 1 courses. Different teachers taught the course identically, and all used the same words and mannerisms (isn’t it?). They even tended to dress the same way (white or light colors and usually adorning a shawl). It all made sense when I met ssrs, and saw that it was he they were emulating. This bothered me at first, but somewhere along the way, that feeling subsided, and I began to emulate too. I’m not sure why. Could it have been because following the herd was the easy thing to do? Or because I had spent so much time surrounded by devotees, that I came to accept those practices as the norm? Or perhaps it was because of all the positive reinforcement I got from my teachers while emulating ssrs. I suspect the answer is all of the above.

Further along the path to becoming a teacher, there were more and more intense lessons in the Art of Marketing. DSN was nothing more than a salesman boot camp in which course participants are first broken through sleep deprivation and physical and emotional exhaustion, and then made to sell the course at all costs. I remember on the last day having to walk into a jam-packed church in the middle of a sermon to recruit people to an AoL course. If that is not proselytization, then I don’t know what is. TTC1 also focused intensely on marketing. Again, participants are broken through sheer exhaustion. Aside from getting emotionally and mentally abused (which I will not go into here) students spend many hours setting goals (“sankalpas”) for the growth of AoL in their own communities, developing marketing strategies, and polishing their introductory talks.

I got introduced to the Art of Acting at TTC2. It is yet another course with the usual component of breaking participants through exhaustion. But the main focus this time is on memorizing and reciting the “course points”. Hours and hours are spent reading the manual and delivering “the knowledge” before the class. We are told not to get creative or to let our own thoughts interfere. Just stick to the manual. By the end, the course turns out an army of well-trained, finely-tuned robots (aka AoL teachers).

Over my years of continuous involvement with AoL, I have realized that ssrs & co perpetuate the myth that becoming a teacher of AoL dogma is a wonderful gift, bestowed by ssrs only upon the most worthy and select few. But my experience has shown me that AoL is printing out teachers like they’ve just invented the press. Anyone with the inclination who has the money to afford the training courses and can withstand the abuse can become a teacher. One who keeps coming back for more abuse has truly proven his enduring gullibility, and is entrusted with a God Almighty, holiest of holy, precious-more-than-life-itself kriya tape. The fact is the DSN and TTCs train one to become a walking, talking advertisement that can put on a good enlightenment act. And yes folks, it is all an act. I have witnessed first hand senior teachers break down emotionally, and I have seen the rage ssrs can become possessed with behind closed doors. These are not the behaviors I would have thought to ascribe to an enlightened individual.

I have heard the argument time and again from AoLites that no one is ever forced to do anything in AoL. But I would counter that the manipulation that goes on in the courses (both subtle and overt), as well as the brainwashing, runs so deep, and the emotional damage sustained so unfathomable, that one finds oneself compelled to continue to serve the organization. I suspect this compulsion is driven by the same psychology that brings an abused wife back to her husband abuser, a prisoner to defend those who have imprisoned him (as in Stockholm Syndrome), or an elderly couple to give up their life savings to a con artist. But whatever the reason, AoL continues to lure unsuspecting victims into its thick web of deceit.

I have seen many cases where ssrs and senior teachers have taken advantage of well-meaning, well-intentioned, innocent individuals, suck their time, money, and energy, and then leave them by the wayside, a useless emotional mess. I am forever grateful that I managed to get out with my sanity still in tact.

Twinkle twinkle little stars

2009-12-25T12:50:00.002-05:00

BY KLIM

A couple years ago, a full time teacher contacted me to ask if I had heard SSRS said anything about old timers leaving. This full time teacher was extremely unhappy, not taken care of, yet scared to leave the movement. Like myself a few years earlier, she believed there was no life after AoL. There is also the real question full timers, who are not in the 20’s and had dedicated more than 10 years to the AoL, face, “how will I survive in the world? What will I do to make a living?”

Soon after, I received several emails from all over the planet with the message Sri Sri was warning everyone about the difficult astrological moment that would create doubts in people and, as a consequence, many old timers would drop out. If doubts came up, one had to stay strong and chant “om namah shivaya.”

It was almost funny to see the reactions in people. It was as if another tsunami was hitting town! It was evident to me it was another one of his manipulations. The exiting of old timers, teachers and full timers would obviously create doubts in many people. He found the perfect explanation, the one he invokes every time he is in trouble and void of logical explanations: the stars. And there we were, again, blaming the stars to manage crisis.

Somehow, he always has the last say: sometimes doubt is due to your low prana but sometimes it is due to the position of the stars. Astrologers and psychics are bad yet if he predicts it or he says it is due to the stars, then, listen, astrology and clairvoyance are then good.

With this train of thought, no one, according to him, is capable of thinking on his/her own. If someone saw bad things in his organization, the problem was, of course, with the seer not the seen. Could it be that old timers started leaving because they could not cope and support the lack of ethics and mess of the organization anymore? Could it be some people think and use their heads? Could it be some people have integrity? What about the stars were in such position it helped people have clarity and see through deceit?

I know one thing: my leaving AoL was not a result of a bad astrological moment, if at all, it was due to a good astrological moment. Om Namah Shivaya to that!

Sudarshan Kriya: FREEING or FRYING the mind?

2009-12-23T15:59:00.003-05:00

BY HUMBLE WITNESS

Blank. That is how I remember feeling after my first kriya--blank, unable to think, lightheaded, and numb/tingly all over. I admit, it was mildly pleasant. At that time, it did occur to me that breathing faster and deeper than my body required for an extended period of time might actually be harmful. But because of the teacher’s reassurance that these effects are normal, combined with the fact that others in the class shared the same experiences, I ignored my intuition and neglected to research the physiological effects of over-breathing. And coming from a scientific background, I am still miffed at myself for not having researched it back then, but according to the old adage, “its better late than never”…

After devoting years of my life to AoL, serving as a volunteer and teacher, and blindly propagating the myth that the kriya is beneficial and should be practiced daily, I now realize that I have made a tremendous error in judgment, and that sudarshan kriya (aka hyperventilation) is harmful. This is just one of the reasons why I chose to leave AoL and cease promoting its practices.

When students ask where the kriya came from, I tell them it was “cognized” by ssrs during a 10-day period of silence in the early 80’s. Looking back, it’s amazing to me how many people (including myself) blindly accepted the kriya as something holy and beneficial based on its source and the short-term pleasant feeling it evokes. But I am left wondering what are its long-term effects. When a drug is discovered, it goes through years of clinical trials before being prescribed. Even cosmetics need testing for harmful effects. Sure, the kriya is claimed to consist of “natural rhythms” of breathing and therefore cannot be harmful. I could argue that masturbation is also natural, but just because it feels good doesn’t mean that one should practice it every day. Practicing kriya for its short-term pleasant effect is no different than doing drugs.

Today, its common knowledge that hyperventilation (defined as simply breathing faster or deeper than necessary) can cause dizziness, lightheadedness, numbness in the limbs, and even fainting/loss of consciousness. The reason for these side effects is because by over-breathing, one is actually depriving oneself of oxygen-- hyperventilation excessively rids the body of carbon dioxide, low carbon dioxide causes blood vessels to constrict, and constricted vessels carry less blood and oxygen to the different parts of the body (including the brain.) This is a condition known as hypoxia, and cells starved of oxygen eventually die. So I cringe to think of how many brain cells I have fried after my many years of practicing kriya.

Advocates of the kriya might argue that it is “controlled hyperventilation” and therefore not harmful. They might even refer you to the “scientific research” on the kriya that supports its many benefits. Hyperventilation is hyperventilation (no matter how you spin it), and I have gone through a number of the articles on the kriya, most (if not all) of which were published by devotees of ssrs. Most of them (particularly the earlier ones) are lacking in the proper controls, and it is unclear whether subjects are doing the full sk with associated pranayams, or sk alone. I have yet to see a truly unbiased, well-controlled study with convincing data supporting the unsubstantiated claims that sk is the cure-all it is touted to be.

I also have my own experience to back up my conclusion that sk is downright harmful. During my involvement with the organization, I have witnessed many suffer from mental imbalance and detrimental effects after practicing kriya. I have known two people who had to stop doing kriya because it induced panic attacks in them. I have witnessed one pour soul lose mental stability and have to be committed due to manic episodes and delusions of grandeur. And I have seen three well-adjusted, well-educated individuals with a promising future and a passion for their career only to abruptly decide to throw away their education to do full-time “seva” for AoL. As for me, I can remember how I used to be before ever practicing kriya—much more sharp, and quick to respond and recall words and names. I feel my intellect has dulled since then. And after reading Klim’s posts, I realize I am not alone.

I can’t claim to know what is good for everyone else, but I can draw from my own faculties and experiences to decide what is right for me. I whole-heartedly encourage everyone else to do the same.

The blind and the seva

2009-12-22T10:49:00.002-05:00

For more than a decade I ran on behalf of the AoL here and there “saving the world.” The world is not perfect. It was not back when I joined the AoL. Many things can be improved in the world, but listening to SSRS somehow makes you feel something must be done urgently before we are all doomed, and that salvation depended on, specifically, his intervention. I don’t know if I have become thick headed or if actually I evolved, but I now see the world is simply so perfect as it is, in its imperfections. Wanting to make the world better is nice, but having the feverishness to change the world is insane.

The man who taught me to “accept things and people as they are”, that noone could change anyone, except by accepting followed by responsibility detached from results, and that everything from the Divine is perfect, was, at the same time, urging me to change the world and everyone because what the Divine had done was not good enough.

Seva warriors or seva angels were so stimulated, so excited, so feverish in their conquering of seva, the only image that comes to my mind right now is that of many teenagers running around with excessive hormones trying to copulate with whatever comes in front of them! These behaviors obviously came with aggression, competitiveness, lack of integrity, instability, personality disorders, dissonance, etc. Anything was acceptable as long as results were achieved. I literally understood the saying, “over my dead body” coexisting with AoL teachers. I still don’t perceive corrupting values to uplift human values spiritual. I could be wrong. But I remember how upset Ravishankar was the day I told him it was hypocritical to break values in the name of human values.

There were a few seva projects here and there. I was one of those teachers who went without sleep or food for many days in crazy projects in crazy areas. I thought it was the best yet I did not receive the proper support, and finally faced the truth it was all for publicity or added material for his NPP nomination. None of those projects had real continuation. The real seva in the AoL was actually to bring more people to the course, organize courses, teach courses. Let’s face it. That is about 90% of the seva projects (oh yes, and doing the dishes and cleaning the toilets and ironing his clothes). The rest is placebo, a pretty decoration, an extra spice. Bringing more people will not change the world! It is all to add more money to his family account, value to his popularity, evidence for his narcissism.

Every time I clean the house, do the dishes, etc. I joke with myself, “Oh I am doing seva!”

Not long ago, I was crossing the street and turned around to see a blind man trying to cross too. I went back and offered to lead him. I helped him walk 3 blocks. When we reached his final destination, I had this immense feeling of satisfaction. I pondered about it for a long time and realized it was the first real seva I had done in years!

There I was, someone who for over a decade prided in having dedicated life to the selfless service to humankind realizing that was the one real seva I had done in years! The rest had been actually enrolling people to a course that is a fraud! The Greek have to agree it is indeed tragic comedy!

I was always reminded of all the merits I was earning from all the seva! When I think about it now, I shriek at the thought of all the karma I probably created on myself for having brought so many to the path of “devolution”.

The blind helped me see.